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I would like to credit the photographer and thank her for sharing her work.
Your words are what give value to this space.
Never do that again.
Yes, I am aware.
Art by: Toujours
No Contest
even if no one gets me, if i'm the only one laughing at my jokes, i won't hide myself away from life. it's uncertain and it's dirty and it's fucking exciting, and i want to be a part of all of it.
it's too good to waste in hiding.
toujours
February, 21, 2009 1:27 AM
it's too good to waste in hiding.
toujours
February, 21, 2009 1:27 AM
heart full
Today on my way home from class, I stopped off at the petrol station for some petrol. I paid on my card which wasn’t a lot, and then as I was getting into my car, I saw an old man walking past the building. He had a red and green stripy jumper which was frayed at the ends. He was also wearing some jeans that were dirty and had holes all over.
I sat there and became intrigued by him because I didn’t know what he was doing, so as I sat there and watched him, he continued doing what he set out to do.
He walked past the trash cans and first picked out a cup with some drink still in it (one of the cups that you get from burger king that has coke in it). He then walked over to the next trash can and pulled out the end of a half eaten sandwich. In my shock horror, he ate it and then went to sit on the wall to drink the drink he had found.
I felt sad, I wanted to give him my last $4 that I had but I was told when I was younger that you should never give people money, you should give them something they need or can use because that way, if they had an addiction, they would not be able to use the money for their addiction. So I went into the shop and bought a chicken sandwich from their deli counter and then walked out of the building.
The guy was still sat at the wall drinking his drink so I walked up to him and asked him if he would like this sandwich. He thanked me and said that he was hungry.
I should of felt good after that, doing something for someone else but all I could think of is where his next meal will come from or where in fact he will sleep tonight.
Fimble Star
September 30, 2008 8:08 PM
(Tonight, although I am cold and my feet are sore, my belly is full.)
I sat there and became intrigued by him because I didn’t know what he was doing, so as I sat there and watched him, he continued doing what he set out to do.
He walked past the trash cans and first picked out a cup with some drink still in it (one of the cups that you get from burger king that has coke in it). He then walked over to the next trash can and pulled out the end of a half eaten sandwich. In my shock horror, he ate it and then went to sit on the wall to drink the drink he had found.
I felt sad, I wanted to give him my last $4 that I had but I was told when I was younger that you should never give people money, you should give them something they need or can use because that way, if they had an addiction, they would not be able to use the money for their addiction. So I went into the shop and bought a chicken sandwich from their deli counter and then walked out of the building.
The guy was still sat at the wall drinking his drink so I walked up to him and asked him if he would like this sandwich. He thanked me and said that he was hungry.
I should of felt good after that, doing something for someone else but all I could think of is where his next meal will come from or where in fact he will sleep tonight.
Fimble Star
September 30, 2008 8:08 PM
(Tonight, although I am cold and my feet are sore, my belly is full.)
It helped.
Jennicula,
Thank you for sharing your story. Although it only appeared briefly, I was lucky enough to have caught it.
Once upon a time, for me, that was the best part of this place...having my words related back to me from another's perspective.
And it never mattered to me who said it, just that it meant something to the writer.
Thank you for sharing your story. Although it only appeared briefly, I was lucky enough to have caught it.
Once upon a time, for me, that was the best part of this place...having my words related back to me from another's perspective.
And it never mattered to me who said it, just that it meant something to the writer.
Blog header image by: Anima
I would like to credit the photographer and thank her for sharing her work.
something
Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life. Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are. If you've had a shitty day and you feel like people just don't want you to be happy, and when you find yourself struggling to make it through the day, just keep on believing and keep the faith. Also, from personal experience, don't push people away. When they say they want to help and that they are there for you, let them in. Believe me, I know how fucking scary that thought is, but don't shut others out.
paperheartxx
September 22, 2008 11:07 PM
paperheartxx
September 22, 2008 11:07 PM
Retro-spectacled
Sometimes, when you look back on stuff in your life, you know, the crap that makes you shake your head and say, "Holy shit, what the Hell was I thinking?" it's part of what makes you - you.
I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have made small mistakes and really big, fucking scary mistakes. Would I change those mistakes and blunders?
No. Wanna know why?
Because they make me - me. They help make up the person that I am, what I've learned the hard way. Hopefully I've learned from my mistakes and have become a better person for it. And, hopefully I don't repeat those same mistakes. Although, sometimes I repeat variations of certain ones, but I'm working on that. :)
Jennicula
June 11, 2008 11:19 AM
I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have made small mistakes and really big, fucking scary mistakes. Would I change those mistakes and blunders?
No. Wanna know why?
Because they make me - me. They help make up the person that I am, what I've learned the hard way. Hopefully I've learned from my mistakes and have become a better person for it. And, hopefully I don't repeat those same mistakes. Although, sometimes I repeat variations of certain ones, but I'm working on that. :)
Jennicula
June 11, 2008 11:19 AM
aloft
Blazing against the sun
like locusts,
samaras swarm the sky
and skitter to an earthly end,
dry
like clever words.
I want to make them fly up,
flip heaven upside down
and dance across the top of hell
and sing your thoughts
to the sound of thunder
that you love so well,
rip open the littered sky
and bathe in the light
or draw across the firmament
the blanket of the night.
In only a day they have
covered the ground,
their brief flight
yielding nothing permanent
on infertile land,
a fleeting moment of swarming glory
that calls to mind our own
short story:
Diamonds and petals,
the loom and the light,
the inkdark moon, foxfire marsh,
an open, waiting hand.
Clever winged seeds
of childhood reminiscent--
and like the idiot grown-up heart,
as stubbornly indehiscent.
Weaver Girl
May 26, 2008 11:27 PM
like locusts,
samaras swarm the sky
and skitter to an earthly end,
dry
like clever words.
I want to make them fly up,
flip heaven upside down
and dance across the top of hell
and sing your thoughts
to the sound of thunder
that you love so well,
rip open the littered sky
and bathe in the light
or draw across the firmament
the blanket of the night.
In only a day they have
covered the ground,
their brief flight
yielding nothing permanent
on infertile land,
a fleeting moment of swarming glory
that calls to mind our own
short story:
Diamonds and petals,
the loom and the light,
the inkdark moon, foxfire marsh,
an open, waiting hand.
Clever winged seeds
of childhood reminiscent--
and like the idiot grown-up heart,
as stubbornly indehiscent.
Weaver Girl
May 26, 2008 11:27 PM
Electric Blue
…today I saw a ulysses butterfly it was in our yard and settled to feed on our hibiscus. They really are fantastically beautiful things, the electric blue is amazing, however as they sit with their wings closed they are rather nondescript and dull. Sometimes people are like that, from the outside they seem unappealing but within there hides an amazing beauty for those lucky enough to see it. I hope you appreciate beauty in all things, and look for it perhaps where others miss it.
ergoproxy
April 29, 2008 4:45 AM
ergoproxy
April 29, 2008 4:45 AM
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
I read your post again and suddenly without warning memories of construction paper filled my head. I remembered all the lop-sided flowers my girls made when they were young. Bright blue, yellow and pink flowers that were cut out with blunt end scissors would fill the windows to decorate for Easter. An occasional bunny was attempted but those usually ended up looking like creatures from a horror movie. Flowers were so much easier. I can close my eyes and hear the paper being cut into petals. I can smell the Elmer’s glue squirted on in huge blobs to attach each misshapen petal to form the flowers. We had a huge arts and crafts box full of wonderful items just waiting for their imaginations to turn into something wonderful. In my mind I see my daughters, as they once were, small, blond little girls sitting on the floor surrounded by scraps of paper and other art supplies. They would create their masterpieces then proudly show each other. Oh and Lord the messes that would ensue if the glitter made an appearance. Now, the box is forgotten. I’m not really sure where it even is anymore. The few flowers so lovingly created that survived are faded and dusty and high on a shelf they sit. Time marches on, so many things get left behind.
Today was the first Easter I spent alone. I don’t think it really upset me until I remembered the construction paper flowers. Of course I understand that my daughters are growing up and have lives of their own. But understanding doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I miss my little girls in their frilly Easter dresses. I miss the laughter that filled the house when they found what the Easter Bunny left for them. And I miss making the damn flowers.
Elena
March 24, 2008 3:57 AM
Today was the first Easter I spent alone. I don’t think it really upset me until I remembered the construction paper flowers. Of course I understand that my daughters are growing up and have lives of their own. But understanding doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I miss my little girls in their frilly Easter dresses. I miss the laughter that filled the house when they found what the Easter Bunny left for them. And I miss making the damn flowers.
Elena
March 24, 2008 3:57 AM
From the corner.
I wonder if you noticed
all our friends playing
Some had never tried before
and the result was amazing.
Poems from the corner
from the left and right
We did our best to keep them flowing
Late into this night.
If nothing else was accomplished
I hope we made someone see
How truly beautiful and amazing
a poem can be.
Sdock10
March 13, 2008 11:36 PM
all our friends playing
Some had never tried before
and the result was amazing.
Poems from the corner
from the left and right
We did our best to keep them flowing
Late into this night.
If nothing else was accomplished
I hope we made someone see
How truly beautiful and amazing
a poem can be.
Sdock10
March 13, 2008 11:36 PM
Thank You. Truly.
"This little world has grown around us, out of nothing, and it is a remarkable thing. Even the dark and dirty parts, the violent parts. Humanity will not thrive without passion."
Redrum
March 1, 2008 3:13 AM
Redrum
March 1, 2008 3:13 AM
Uncondensed
Your words are what give value to this space.
Never do that again.
Yes, I am aware.
Character Advocacy.
"Don't ever pretend to be something you're not. You are who you are, and no one can change that. The people who don't like the real you are just gonna have to suck it. Don't take shit from anyone. Don't crumble. Throw a few birds, and walk on.
I'm still trying to do this, so maybe we can work on it together."
mustardisbetter
January 16, 2008 4:48 PM
I'm still trying to do this, so maybe we can work on it together."
mustardisbetter
January 16, 2008 4:48 PM
Art by: Toujours
“I decided to stop pitying myself. Other than my eye, two things aren't paralyzed, my imagination and my memory.”
Jean-Dominique Bauby
Jean-Dominique Bauby
4,780 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 2601 – 2800 of 4780 Newer› Newest»Always 12:22? This is going to be a long video series. Hard work too.
^_~
I'm thinkin' we're gonna need a trunk to fit everyone in here.
Revised Grateful Dead Song:
"Hell in a Hummer"
If only RW was here. She would have 0_0 all over the place ^_^
DW, it's fertile imaginations.
J, make sure that's a first gen Hummer. Even a military one should fit all of us.
-A
BC, the poor girl's eyeballs would eventually fall out.
-A
*sits down and gets comfy*
This is entertaining.
Well dickwed, there are many nights throughout the year where we let go of our inhibitions and just be free and dirty ^_~
BC, would you be the O_O poster in her place, since she's not with us? Oh please! Cause if anything needed that face, tonight surely does.
No, we're not ashamed. Should we be? We can be as pure as a bunch of nuns, if you like.
*makes innocent eyes as well*
DW it's a finely honed skill
Great Moments in Gardening - What to Expect From Your Garden, aka Which is better multiple small ones or one big one?
Back that truck up J.
Great Moments in Gardening: Proper Use of Gloves.
-A
Ergo:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Great Moments In Gardening
Understanding the lay of the land
I would have maybe one good joke. You've each gone past that. It's not fair.
Why do they all have to be about me anyway? I say you give somebody else a turn.
Ergoproxy
I want a third option. Multiple big ones.
Lol, true Amy. Oops, I misspelled dickweed.
DW, I can't think of anyone who has a name that could be made into a porno title.
*looks around*
No, really. I can't.
-A
*ahem*
watering the stalk
pinching the buds
filling the basket
playing around in the shed
*returns to ergo's blog*
Great Moments in Gardening-
Pruning the Dead Wood
O.O
Great Moments in Gardening -
How to encourage new growth
Hahahaha Ergo, and
0_0
There you go J :)
those last 2 go together
Fun with Topiary?
Dear Lord! Toujours, I'm shocked. Proud but still shocked.
I really don't think you're trying hard enough. There has to be something else to parody.
anon 12:32
*waves wand*
and you shall have it!
Great Moments in Gardening: Working the hose.
-A is thinking.
Thank you BC! It's marvelous. :D
DW, if you have any titles you want to publish, go right ahead. And as for why we're "using" you...
Well, now you know why I call you "Big D".
*evil laughter*
Good ones, TJ!
Great moments in gardening
Raised Beds vs Ground
*giggles*
lol good one anon!
Great moments in Gardening:
Fertilzation
ergoproxy said...
anon 12:32
*waves wand*
and you shall have it!
Damn, that was good. Thankie you, Ergoproxy.
**steals wand to keep in nightstand drawer**
I see how it is..... you use me for your own twisted pleasure. I am so tempted to change my name but I would never see fit to use it here anyway.
Okay, one more and I'll play nice, I promise.
Great Moments in Gardening: Indoor beds versus Outdoor Beds.
-A
Great Moments In Gardening-
Avoiding Problems With Rakes
*pokes DW*
Aw, c'mon. Okay, I'll play nice then.
Actually, I think I'll have to play my way to bed soon.
-A
sorry dickweed
no need to change your name
give us another topic?
sorry dw. but you should know, i'm not really a pollyanna, i only play one on the blog. *heh*
thanks j. :)
DW said...
I see how it is..... you use me for your own twisted pleasure.
Yes. Is it going to be a problem?
perhaps - landscaping? DIY? ...
Hahaha anon
Twisted Pleasures - The Joy of Vines
Great Moments In Gardening
Tying your vines and plugging your melons
I would hug you but I know better.
Great Moments in Gardening:
Secrets to making them bigger and juicier
Hug away...if you dare.
Or is there something in the way? ;)
12:47,
That sounds very naughty ^_~
Espalier - how to do it against any convenient wall
*TAXI!
I think handbasket may be too slow
wait, so are we stopping?
because i was going to say something about mulching.
I thought you might like that one, Bleeding Chaos.
^_~
Hi TJ, BC, Amy, ergo, dickweed, paperheart and OPJ! And Nice Anons! and anyone I missed. :)
Just stopping by as I am busy.
I see now that we are accused of involvement in some sort of 'clique' [which I find to be an insult to my maturity as well as everyone else's] I wouldn't like to disappoint the anons by my absence. Too fucking hilarious!
Sometimes shit really does make me laugh. :D Aloud, no less.
Amy - I hope you enjoyed your holiday!
BC - I hope you are feeling better. How is your leg?
ergo - beautiful scenic photos and I enjoyed the stories and aboriginal art.
DW - I like Martha Jones too! :) I love her honesty.
PH - I am glad you are enjoying time with your niece!
TJ - Your note last night made me reflect on happy times. Thank you!
J - I hope you and L are doing well! Don't take anything mean anons say seriously, but you are the one that taught ME that, I almost forgot! :)
elena and lewis - I have been to target before - I realize there may have been confusion - just not in the halloween section. But I will go soon!
Wendy! - I left you a message by phone, but I see you are sick! I hope you feel better soon. Please take care of your self! *hugs*
OK - I am returning to my study of tarot - its really fascinating. I realize some of the historical significance of the imagery and it has meaning for me.
Take care guys!
:)
Go on toujours.
Is it the air in here?
Hallo and Goodnight Mira!
-A
Espalier - how to do it against any convenient wall
*hands ergo the golden trowel for best double entendre of the night*
Do tell, 12:51.
^_~
There's air in here?
-A
you're welcome, miranth. enjoy the tarot. :)
HI miranth! thanks for having a look!
part 3 soon
I don't see any air, Amyranth.
There has to be or else the growth would be choked out, Amyranth.
*accepts award*
I'd like to thank all my friends who encourage and share their own creatiity...
*sniff*
THIS IS FOR ALL OF YOU!!!!!
*grabs hankie*
*leans over podium*
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!
*gets hauled off by security*
DW, this one's your fault.
Great Moments in Gardening: The Importance of Aeration.
-A
Hi and goodnight miranth *hugs*
The leg is okay, thank you for asking :)
Hi Miranth! Bye Miranth! It's all good, not to worry. :D
Amy, there must be air. We just can't tell.
let's not forget some of the pleasures of container gardening: choosing the right box.
Great Moments in Gardening
Keeping your soil moist...grow longer...getting them off to a good start
*hands another golden trowel to Tj*
Then there's the basics:
Great Moments in Gardening:
Pulling Weeds (Very Gently)
*falls over*
Good one Teej!
-A
Okay Ladies, I think I gotta take off for the night. Same Bat-Time, Same Bat-Channel!
Goodnight Lovelies, Mayo, SS and DW!
Thanks for being such a good sport DW. *pinches cheek*
-A
anon
getting them off to a good start - choosing the correct position
*gingerly accepts the trowel*
i...i don't know what to say.
*dabs at teary eyes*
*beams*
you like me! you really like me!
*hauled off by security*
(award shows have become so strict lately)
goodnigth Amy sweet dreams
good night amyranth, thanks for the cookies. :)
goodnight *sheesh*
there isn't even any schothch at this award show!
Goodnight Amy, aka Batgirl!
I forgot to say CONGRATS Ergo and TJ! What a prestigious honor, the Golden Trowel. I myself am deeply jealous.
Goodnight Amy, sweet dreams. Aww dickweed, I didn't think you were sensitive *also pinches cheek*
Thanks for getting through the evening with us.
Well you need some!
Ahh, but Ergo, do they have donuts?
Not the donuts J!!!
*walks back downstairs and leaves a box of DOTUNS on the living room table*
-A
Goodnight Amy sweet dreams.
That sucks Ergo :(
Someone who won such a awesome award yourself deserves many cases of schotch.
Applauds Ergoproxy's acceptance speech.
Applauds Dickweed's stamina and sense of humor.
Goodnite gardeners.
Not the infamous donuts, J. Don't you remember what happened last time?
0_o
J likes to be cheeky ;)
good night 1:18.
need more coffee. brb.
Goodnight anon sweet dreams.
Goodnight Anon! Come garden with us again sometime!
And YES. Donuts. :D
BC, yeah I do! That's why we need some.
O_o
AMY! DAMN YOU WOMAN!! *quietly picks up box of donuts and starts wandering away with them*
Going outside for a while, girls, don't, uh, wait up! *shifty eyes*
goodnight 1:18 sweet dreams
You are about to release the Pandora's Box of all blog foods J. Are you ready to acept that responsibility? :p
0_o
X_x
i'm back.
took a detour to finish looking at the rest of ergo's pics. :)
Ok.. If you really want to straighten this mess out....
Step away from the ducky
Hmm. BC, since you put it that way...I'll wait. :) As Scarlett O'Hara said, "Tomorrow is another day."
How're you doing, TJ?
Sorry to spoil the enthusiam J. Oh darn :)
Hi again TJ
BC I don't know if the blog can cope with J alone with a box of donuts!
and thanks TJ :]
oh anon that is a priceless clip
"Put Down the Duckie"! Do you know, I still sometimes hum this song. How sad am I.
Yeah, Ergo, I thought I should hold off on sticky donut goodness.
It's alright, BC. Not your fault. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is veeeeeeeeeeery, very sleepy. ;)
♥hi honey♥
:)
hi honey anon
i'm okay, j. -- wandering around blogbelieve a little.
Honey is nice, the food that is... not meaning you're not nice anon, you could be , just don't know you :)
hello ♥♥
did you know you were with me today?
:)
Hi honey anon, 1:56
were you carrying me?
♥♥
:)
(do you know you're always with me?)
Always good to visit, TJ. I don't do that as much as I would like, or should, or something. I have bursts of visitation, then they just run out. :P
I think I'm going to go to bed, ladies. Goodnight Ergo, TJ, BC, Honey Anon, any other anons that were here, DW (although I know you're gone already), and anyone I've missed!
Goodnight Mayo, enjoy your Monday!
love, faith, hope, Hummers, donuts
Sweet donut dreams J!
of course
♥♥
:)
(it's exactly where i want to be)
goodnight J sweet dreams
:)
♥♥
(where i want to be is with you)
make a date anons
j., i usually do my visits ectoplasmically, thus using up less energy. :)
good night to you, and sweet dreams. (say hi to l.!)
Goodnight J sweet dreams.
Ergo, the sunset pic was soooooo beautiful!
Even the ones with the sun setting over the water.
Dear SS,
You know, I never ran either, but it kept chasing me anyway. Like I was waving a piece of raw meat in its face.
O_o
Rivers are calm, cool, pleasant places to gather. There're lots in TN, especially in the mountains. I've always loved the sound of water flowing over rocks, it's so peaceful.
I AM glad to see you haven't given up on us. This place is a zoo sometimes, more chaos and confusion than peace and tranquility. But there are still good aspects of it.
You're one of them.
Goodnight, baby. I love you.
My heart to yours, always.
I like the mauve orchids too!
♥♥
as ♥
:)
thank you anon
It's a beautiful area and I took a heap of shots to try and get some good ones, it's the only way and a reason digital cameras are so handy!
goodnight, my sweet
♥♥
(i run out of words because yours make me fizz so much)
:)
Mayo
Well I didn’t fall off a ladder today or the porch railing so I guess I should be grateful. My mom’s house is now decorated for Halloween. I had been so looking forward to doing it that I wish my heart had been in it more. Probably the raging headache that just wouldn’t go away had something to do with my less than enthusiastic mood. The headache is still with me as is the melancholy feeling. I had planned on telling you about two more movies I watched this evening but I’m just not feeling it. Instead I’ll just hope I can once more master the art of clicky.
day
night
I truly hope you had a nice day. I hope you smiled and laughed. I’m going to shut down now. Sleep seems the only answer as much as I hate to admit to that. I’m weary and just feeling empty. The house is silent and I’m alone. Funny how I usually look forward to these rare times when I have the house to myself. But not tonight. Tonight is feels wrong. I’m just going to chalk this up to the headache and lack of sleep. Tomorrow it will be better. I will see things in a different light. So it’s off to the sofa for me. The ceiling fan will be turned off so I don’t try to count the blades as they turn. Time to close my eyes and wait for the nothingness. That’s what I want tonight. Nothing. No worries, no memories, no fear. Just nothing.
Night Mayo
Elena (I hate this feeling)
They must text each other to be online at the same time. Exhibitionists ;)
Ergo, stunning pics, all of them. Any pictures of waterfalls etc. I like water :)
oh man! that second pic from 2:19 is so cute!!
it's actually got me a little choked up, which is ridiculous, but i've been missing my cat today. that sounds even more ridiculous.
she's the first cat i've ever had, though i grew up with them, but she's different. we're so close, she was almost my familiar (except she didn't like the incense *grin*). i feel like i abandoned her.
i worry that she's completely forgotten me.
seeing that sleeping cat...
well, aren't i just dumb?
gonna click on elena's clicky links now.
sleep well elena
and love the pics
thanks anon I have some more next time, including some water ones.
We didn't go to the big waterfalls but if we go again we will, you need to stay at kakadu overnight, it's too far to drive all in one day
i know you've gone to bed elena, but the house looks great! i especially like the caution tape.
good night, sleep well, wake fantastic. :)
SS - You clever little poppet.
* presents SS with the Nile *
May you always be, um, er, fertile :\
Adieu.
hi gnothi. :)
it's time for me to get to bed, so i'll just say good night to you, and to ergo, and whoever else might be lurking around.
sweet dreams all.
Hi GS
I hope he has room for it!
goodnight Tj sweet dreams
Good night Toujours, sweet dreams.
Ergo - 'tis but a small water feature.
I'm off to work. Have a great day.
Abyssinia.
have a good day at work
*waves as GS leaves*
mayo,
i'm going to fall asleep with my head on the desk before i think of something to say to you tonight. it's just...
well, tonight's one of those nights where i sit down and everything that rises up in my mind as a possible good night is rejected as being truly lame.
if i had something that i could pretend was marvellous, i would tell it to you tonight, you know i would. i'm predictable that way. wind me up, set me down, and bang! you've got yourself a five hundred word good night essay about absolutely nothing at all. lucky you.
be busy tomorrow, mayo. not petty make-work busy, but busy creating, busy living, busy doing what you were meant to do, so that the whole day from rising to sleep is one of solid and bone-deep satisfaction.
good night, sleep well.
they're, they're these terrors
kind of like it feels like
as if somebody was gripping my..."
"they're these terrors
kind of like it feels like
as if somebody was gripping my throat..."
"they're, they're not like tremors, they're worse than
tremors. they're, they're these terrors"
"like late at night
umm they're not like tremors, they're
worse than tremors
they're, they're these terrors
kind of like, it feels like as if somebody
was gripping my throat and squeezing and,
I feel..."
"...it feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat and..."~
Some say, now suffer all the children
And walk away a savior,
Or a madman and polluted
From gutter institutions.
Don´t you breathe for me,
Undeserving of your sympathy,
Cause there ain´t no way that I´m sorry for what I did.
And through it all
How could you cry for me?
Cause I don´t feel bad about it.
So shut your eyes,
Kiss me goodbye,
And sleep.
Just sleep.
The hardest part is letting go of
Your dreams.
A drink for the horror that I´m in,
For the good guys, and the bad guys,
For the monsters that I´ve been.
Three cheers for tyranny,
Unapologetic apathy,
Cause there ain´t no way that I´m coming back again.
And through it all
How could you cry for me?
Cause I don´t feel bad about it.
So shut your eyes,
Kiss me goodbye,
And sleep.
Just sleep.
The hardest part
is awful things that I´ve seen.
"...sometimes I see flames and sometimes
I see people I love dying, and its always...
sometimes I see flames and sometimes I see people I love dying..."
Just sleep.
Just sleep.
Just sleep.
Just sleep.
Just sleep.
Just sleep.
I love that song elena, from when I first heard it
It is my favorite song on Black Parade.
Mayo,
Hope you are doing well today and I hope the day goes just exactly how you want it to go. Well, maybe not exactly because if that happened it might create a ripple in the ocean of life and from the ripple comes a tidal wave and then a great surge and, BOOM! Before you have even realized it, you have destroyed a whole town. Get me?
So, I have a question for you this morning. Are you big on closing doors forever? Burning bridges down completely? I ask you this because I'm trying to understand myself a little bit better. For the life of me, I don't get why I always leave the door cracked. I convince myself that it's more for them than myself, but I don't know. Seems to be driven by some mad crazy fear of being alone.
And I guess I'm hoping that if you are a door slammer or a bridge burner that you have people in your life that are hellbent on keeping that door open and that bridge built. Because we all need people in our life like that, Mayo. Don't shut them out.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Just enough to let the light come in.
Mayo, I just wanted to say you could have finger painted a toilet and my heart still would have soared for the thought behind it. It is overwhelming to feel that you care about your Lovelies still.
I am sorry for the division that is happening between them. But at the very least it can still be said that you care about them all. I don't blame you for what has happened here, either. This war is personal. And if it is going to continue it should be carried out personally. NOT brought here to YOUR BLOG. The copy paste of comments elsewhere and the commenting on those comments makes this an exhibition. An exhibition from blog to blog to blog...
Which leads to the question again, if this is all so personal why is it being displayed and responded to here and other public blogs? Why does this all feel like a ploy to get your attention, sympathy or a demand to pick a side?
All of this childish behavior at the expense of bloggers who comment here. I know another anon saying more of this does not help anything. But it is hard to sit here, reading all of this and not say anything. Where did this division come from? Why do people not care for each other now as they seemed to so deeply? For so long Mayo. Why did this happen? How can it be stopped? How can it be fixed? How can everyone speak to each other again without hesitation or fear or anger or sorrow? You cannot have peace if not everyone wants to stop hitting.
Reading back this morning was the first time I had read so many silly comments on your blog in a very long time. Does that not make you sad Mayo? Do you not wonder what happened? Do you even see the hurt that was and is continuing to happen? Can you not see people for who they truly are? Or does none of that matter to you? I refuse to believe that of you Mayo. Your gesture to Elena is beautiful. And it made this war seem so trivial. It is, and it isn't. Hope is the only word I have left to use right now. And I feel tired from using it so much lately. I feel the word will break down and never be able to be said again, for all the times I have thought it. Wished it. Prayed with it. Is it trivial to want friendships back? Is it trivial to want to understand each other? I don't think so, no. But I don't believe that everyone wants to go back as it was. And I do not mean to point the finger at anyone. I am speaking of my own opinion of the situation.
It was good to read the silly of last night. I hope your house stays warm like that more often. And with more of your Lovelies in it. All of them together would ideal. But then I fear the warmth would run out of the place. At least Mayo, for the time being. I hope that changes sometime very soon.
Sdock I have read you for a long time. Your life seems to be always in turmoil. I hope one day that it settles for you and yo find peace.
*You, Sdock. Obviously. :)
Be well everyone.
Last night's 'silliness' as you put it came off as forced to me. It was peppered by comments by 'blues' regarding anons with 'evidence' against other 'lovelies'. Someone in 'blue' threatening to expose someone else for posting mysterious emails -- and most of it because one blogger was recognised by SS.
The problems here are not going away. The walls of this place are cracking and I don't think there is anything that can be done to stop it.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
I had a whole comment and my browser crashed!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!
ok sorry
Mayo
well obviously a sign from a higher power that my comment was not up to scratch?
Or just bad luck lol
Well you'll just have to wait for tomorrow, time flies when you're pissed at Firefox!
Wishing you good internet connections, reliable browsers....
nah,
wishing you fun, happiness, fulfilment and wonder
much love EP xx
SS
yeah your comment was eaten by the Great Internet NOM in the ether that surrounds us too! I hate that, and I was just about to copy it in case too. Ah well, stuff happens. I can't remember it all now anyway so it'll be better to start fresh, so sending you refresment, worth and challenges
lotsa love EP xx
goodnight blogbelieve, see you in my morning
♥xx♥
7:52 I just wanted to say clearly that I was refering to the name game that went on last night. There was indeed great cruelty mixed in there as well. And reading back further from this page is quite sickening it is that bad. I do not deny that. But some blues seemed to have fun. I only meant to imply that I missed reading that. And that I hoped to read it more with more blues involved. All of them in fact.
I am sorry if I seemed to make light of the bad situation. I do see it. I only wanted to convey that and the hope that it can and will change again for the better.
I doubt that Mayo's will crumble for this. The bloggers here may not all get along with each other. But there is care there. There is real and true care. And I don't see any of them abandoning each other completely or Mayo for that matter. I hope the issues can be resolved. But as I said I don't believe all want that resolution.
Thank you for your response to my words. It is nice to know I am being heard even as an generally unwelcome anon. No matter that we don't feel the same way. I appreciate the chance to speak with you about this. I hope you are well and you enjoy your day.
Goodbye.
Good morning/afternoon/night Mayo, SS, Ergo, Elena, TJ, J, Amy, Sweetcheeks, Miranth, DW, GS, Paperheart, Sdock; the possibly soon to arrive Possum, FASC and Lewis; various anons, watchers and lurkers; all gardening enthusiasts, exhibitionists and tools in the land o'blogbelieve!
How are you all this morning? Full of life, vigor and solid food, I hope!
Ergo: Thank you for the new picture story!!!! I especially like the Arhmen Land. I wanted to jump in that water! That is, until I saw the sign and the locals. And, that last sunset was stunning! *smoooooooooch*
Oh, and you're welcome for the shirt!
Miranth: I'm sorry I missed your call. I was up and running; but, my battery was not! Cell phone battery that is. ;) I shall call you back (and at least leave a message) today! *hugs*
Amy: I know you said you did those paintings when you were 19; but, they are wonderful!!! You really need to send them to the CoF Fan Art Site! I think you can get to that HERE
And, while you're at it, check out the deliciously decadent dark art of Paul Allender (CoF's guitarists) and Cindy Frey (photographer extrordinaire) here:
Vomitorium
:D
Sweetcheeks: I didn't receive your last e~mail. :( Would you mind resending? I hope you're feeling much, much better today. That pop quiz is coming soon!
TJ: How's your sister doing? Is she back to 100 (or at least 90)percent yet?
SS: Nice to (sort of) see you! I hope you are well!
Today's submission for pondering consideration:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's a long one so I shall just link the story for anyone who wishes to read.
The Dog by Martin Day
A snippet:
But the dog remembered the Trainer’s hand on his neck when he’d had his nose rubbed in his own “bad dog”, and the dog thought to himself: “I must be good. It’s even more important that I don’t make mistakes here.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love that one!
"Good" or "bad", make today yours...
and love it!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
Hi PJ, Mya, Martha, DA, Gel and Romance!
Ooops!
BI: I'm glad you liked your cake! I hope you made an extra good wish before blowing! ;)
Ergo: *smoooooooch* and sweet dreams!
*blows kisses to blogbelieve*
7:42 and 7:52, last night's "silliness" looked like a group of friends having some fun. DW didn't seem to mind the play on his/her name. If he/she did, I'm sure those involved would be willing to offer apologies.
Again, it looked like some harmless, silly (and funny) fun to me!
That is all! Have a nice day, anons!
Hi Wendy. :)
I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your goodmornings, and I'm sorry that I don't always say so. I often don't see them until much later when it seems out of place to respond. Thanks for remembering me. I hope you have a great day.
SS!!!
How’s you? You okay today? Yes? Hey, I noticed something this morning and you'll have to excuse my rambling. I was looking in my mirror (stfu!) and I saw something that would normally be horrifying for me. I have these tiny little lines around my eyes. I am quite vain, I admit that but this struck me as funny. And that’s when I noticed that they are really visible when I smile or laugh. Which got me to thinking that damn, I must laugh an awful lot. O_o
Anyway, I guess my point is there’s so much bad stuff in the world and there’s not really much to laugh at anymore. I think it’s important to sit back sometimes and just find something or someone to make you laugh until you cry. Thank God I still have my someone that does that. He can make me laugh so hard that I lose my breath.
So here’s to laugh-lines, SS. May you have a ton of them just like me! ^_^
Mayo,
I bet you have those lines in your forehead where you frown all the time. >_<
Just messin’ with you! You know I wuv you, Mayo!
Hope you both have a great day and a great week!!!
See you guys around!
XOXO
I have been reading back and i have come across where my name has been mentioned.I was told to sign in. First let me say,i have posted as an anon, the reason being because i do like to join in the conversations without being slammed for who my friends are,or someone telling me to go back to the porch or comments on my bad spelling.I do not post as anon to say something that i cant say signed in. Reading back an anon said that she didn't blame me for being ashamed to admit to liking the porchies. That pissed me off, and i'm saying this signed in...i do like the porchies and i'm not ashamed of it! I also like the people here.I think that was really low of that person to speak for me. To the anon that keeps telling me to sign in and grow some balls, well i think you should practice what you preach.You say you dont have an account...whatever! At least i dont go from blog to blog trying to conjure up drama and try to turn people against each other.I have to much things to worry about in my real life to let what you think about me, bother me. Oh yea,dont forget...SIGN IN !
Thanks, Twisted. :D
Good morning Mayo, good morning, S(S)S. ^_^
Calaf / More Of This Anon / The Wastelands anon, are you guys ever still around? Might you visit the porch sometime? :)
hello mayo!
hope you are doing good?
i hope you don't get sad when you read some of the things that get said here.
i do.
hope you are having a good day!
SS!!
lovely to see you around blogbelieve. i hope you keep popping in when you have chance. it is always good to see you.
take care and hope you are good and well.
hi K, twisted, wendy, da, princess, solly, nice anons!
ergo i felt for you that your comment got eaten! that is so frustrating!
elena i have had as good a catch up as i could, i always like your goodnights. thanks for sharing the pics of the halloween decorations!
halloween isn't big here. it's getting bigger. but we would only do anything decorations or whatever on the day, not weeks before!
totally cool though!
hi to anyone i missed!
hi PJ!
wow there was alot of hope in my comment!
Hi, FASC. ^_^
Oh and Mayo, you're not still 5:14, right? And you're not writing nonsense? Or maybe you are, but you're for sure not still 5:14. So you should change your profile, right? Are you excited or nervous about the election? Is it sunny or cloudy where you are? Are you decorating for Halloween? Are you going to wear a costume? Did you have a nice breakfast? Just some random questions for you.
S(S)S, you bring the smiles. :D May a trail of silver stars follow you around. Although I bet they actually do. :) I hope that you will go out pumpkin picking with the one you love. Although, who goes to a pumpkin patch anymore? I got my pumpkins at BJ's.* Hey, so don't get your pumpkins at BJ's! Go to a real pumpkin patch with the person you love. ^_^
Okay, back to the porch! Nice anons and nice folks, please come to visit? RDJ anon? Did you get Iron Man on DVD?
*IT'S A STORE.
good♥♥morning
:)
hi K!!
i think it's so wrong to have a store called BJ's!!
i mean seriously??!!
oh and elena i also did LOL at your pumpkins and the reason you picked those ones. you are so sweet. and the same with the Christmas trees! it touched me.
gotta go cook tea, i don't want to. i am not a good cook. i don't particularly enjoy cooking.
oh well!
♥good morning♥
(now i can have a good day)
:)
:)
(now i can 2)
♥♥
:*
Even though K seems to think everything is about her, it's good to know SS doesn't think so.
What? Am I missing something?
Even though K seems to think everything is about her, it's good to know SS doesn't think so.
Shut up, OPJ.
Just cos he put those things on his profile doesn't mean he is friends with her or that he even likes her at all. Like Amy said he probably just liked the song and watching Planet Earth.
Like Amy said he probably just liked the song and watching Planet Earth.
Well, apparently he has things in common with Kapunua then.
I guess he doesn't care that much for potatoes and Sailor Moon.
...or following other people's rules.
Shut up, OPJ.
K always pretends to know exactly what Mayo and SS are talking about. It makes her feel special but the TRUTH is that she doesn't know what their profile words are about any more than we do. She did the same thing with Sharp too. K can pretend she has a relationship with SS but she isn't fooling any of us she is only fooling herself. J has no reason to be jealous of K.
Are you so dense that you don't get the "I never ran" reference?
I'd like her to explain Sharp. She always maintained that she was the only person who understood what he meant.
Just cos he put those things on his profile doesn't mean he is friends with her or that he even likes her at all. Like Amy said he probably just liked the song and watching Planet Earth.
October 13, 2008 1:10 PM
Why does it bother you if he does like her? I know you don't, but why do you care so much?
He doesn't. It can be the message and not the messenger.
How do you know he doesn't?
She acts like she knows what Mayo and SS are talking about, because she knows nobody can prove otherwise and she wants us to think she has a connection with them. The truth is he wouldn't even know who she was if he met her.
He doesn't. It can be the message and not the messenger.
iawtc. just like mayo and fimble star.
She acts like she knows what Mayo and SS are talking about, because she knows nobody can prove otherwise and she wants us to think she has a connection with them.
Hell, nobody has any idea what those two are talking about most of the time!
I would say people do have a connection with him since this blog has been here for over a year. You don't have to acually have to know someone in person to have a connection.
I would say people do have a connection with him since this blog has been here for over a year. You don't have to acually have to know someone in person to have a connection.
Twisted what are you .... their attack dog? The porchies are silent during this whole thing. "They" have NOTHING to say. Could it be they know we're right? You can't defend "them". There is nothing you can say to defend "them".
I just wonder why K felt the need to come to Mayo's blog to respond to SS. He clearly went to DM and saw the post she made to him and read the conversation there about Planet Earth. Why not respond to him at the blog he was visiting. To bring it to Mayo's seems like bragging a bit.
Ha Ha, no i'm not attacking anyone. I just asked you a question.I did not call you a name.Can you talk to me without being so defensive?
Blogger Original Punk J said...
Maybe I can hazard a guess at ?1 and ?3.
1) Why do people who have problems with me post them at Mayo's?
Because that way more of the others can see you being questioned and confronted by them. It's no fun unless they have an audience.
3) Why won't they talk to me? I'm not that fucking scary.
If they talk directly to you, you might answer them, and they don't really want answers. They want to hound you off the blog. Anyone who puts a truth out there about them automatically becomes their enemy. Then they turn all their attention towards discrediting, humiliating, and playing mind games with you.
2) *as a bonus* Why do some of you get shit for talking to me?
If we talk to you, it must mean we're on "your side" and agree with you about them. They hate you, so they hate us by proxy. Some of us are already on their shit list, so adding the transgression of fraternizing with the enemy is a logical step.
You learn to ignore the nasty comments, the blatant baiting, the catty remarks, and just let it roll off. It's taken me a long time to figure it out, but as a true friend and very lovely person told me, don't listen to them. Ignore it all. They'll go away if you do.
He was right. I wish I'd listened to him sooner. But I still thank him for that advice.
Hope I could help. Take care.
10/13/08 2:40 AM
I'm sorry but this is so true and it belongs here. THEY are the ones who start all this trouble. THEY are the ones who are trying to drive people off the blog. THEY are the ones who SAID they were leaving but still post here every... single..... morning.....
Anonymous said...
I just wonder why K felt the need to come to Mayo's blog to respond to SS.
She has been posting over here over a year. Do you have to have permission to post over here now?
Oh, and i got a question for you...whos attack dog are you?
No of course now..... But she was SUPPOSE TO leave. SHe said she was. They all did. She said she was only going to talk to Mayo. She asked the other "friends" who were anonymous to "visit" the porch. Why is she still here? Oh that's right. ATTENTION. That's why they are all here whining.
I just wonder why K felt the need to come to Mayo's blog to respond to SS. He clearly went to DM and saw the post she made to him and read the conversation there about Planet Earth.
PLANET EARTH WAS POSTED HERE, NOT JUST AT DM!
no need to shout
Just because he shares an interest with her and enjoyed watching Planet Earth and the rivers, waterfalls etc. you people are flipping out. Grow the fuck up! He likes her, deal with it!
no need to shout
YES THERE IS! YOU PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING DENSE!
I'm still waiting for her to explain what Sharp meant. I suppose it is a super secret between her and Mayo. The TRUTH is she had no idea what he meant, she just pretended she did.
He clearly went to DM and saw the post she made to him and read the conversation there about Planet Earth
Now we get to the root of the problem. You are jealous because you drove them away and Mayo and SS go to the porch to read them! Sucks to be you!
No of course now..... But she was SUPPOSE TO leave. SHe said she was. They all did. She said she was only going to talk to Mayo. She asked the other "friends" who were anonymous to "visit" the porch. Why is she still here? Oh that's right. ATTENTION. That's why they are all here whining.
October 13, 2008 1:43 PM
Read what you just wrote and you will see who's whining.
Hi everyone.
LOL carrie, thanks for being my cheerleader again.
I hope you had a happy birthday BI
I hope you had a happy birthday solly.
Have a safe trip Fim.
GS, we so have to hire out the Egyptian room.
Wendy, no pic as yet cos I don't wanna get crapped on.
BC, so sorry to hear about the arthritis. I hope you are feeling better soon.
L, I hope you too are feeling better soon.
J, I hope you are OK.
MJ, so sorry to hear about the cat.
Hello to all the people I don't get to chat to much cos of timezones.
Be back later. Tata.
If you want them to stay on the porch, why do you go over there and read what they write?
Hello and bye MissT !
RAWR?
HAH.
(=
Before i go i will leave you this anon
DOUBLE STANDARD
A set of principles permitting greater opportunity or liberty to one than to another :)
ALL BLOGGERS ARE EQUAL,
BUT SOME BLOGGERS ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS.
Hi again everyone.
Hi twisted sister.
Thanks PP for saying you liked my pics.
My bum is numb after sitting at the computer doing all this catch up.
Amazing :) You guys have the mind games part right, at least! :)) I remember back when someone here was toying with me, but I won't allow her to do so anymore, so I think I'll let all that pass.
Nor do I think Mayo and SS are responsible for any behavior, except their own.
Nice to see you twisted and PH!
But I am trying to interpret the tarot, so
TeeJ - Why do the cards keep giving me answers for questions I have not asked? (Usually serious warnings for people and clues to whom they can trust).
Also my dreams have the same messages, but they don't say who I am supposed to help!
????????????
I thought you might know, but thanks, in any case!
Bye now.
PS - It is really bothering me or I wouldn't ask here.
Nobody home eh?
Blimey.
Just gotta chunter to myself eh?
Well, where to start.
So Miss T what you up to then?
Thanks for asking, I'm waiting for crimewatch to start. I love that programme.
People have told me that they don't like to watch it in case they recognise someone. I say that's the reason I do watch. I'm gonna be on that phone straight away for the reward money.
Hi MissT - Good to see you!
I like those shows sometimes too.
I have to get my car diagnosed or I'd stay and chat. :(
take care!
Oooooooo hello Miranth.
Are you staying?
How are you sweetie?
Good luck with the car Miranth sweetie.
see you later.
So Miss T, what did you have for tea?
I had some yummy baked potato with cheese and spring onions. It was gorgeous and now I'm stuffed.
You will be turning into a fat cow if you keep eating like that.
Oi, cheeky bitch. I'll eat what i want OK.
Fine, whatever. But your ass maybe wouldn't get some numb if it wasn't so big.
*turns away and falls out with myself*
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