Time spent, not wasted.

L'envoi

I have the presence of mind to call you out.
Bring it on, I have no doubt
You will leave me when you hear this.
Because, you already know what it’s about,
It blisters my fingers, it breaks my bones.
They’ll say you should've been better told
You won't get far on that soul you sold.

You have a knack for turning me out.
Knock me down, I have no doubt
I will leave here once I say this...
I have to find a better way out.
My hands are full, my mind is clear
All I ask is look beyond you, my dear
I've lifted your curtain and cast out my fear.

And just because we've agreed
Doesn’t mean that I’ve concluded
I held onto the ugly truth behind
All the words you have eluded.

So bring it on and I will profess
And in turn clean the fucking mess
Of your life; what has become
Of your once upon a happy home.

I have half a mind to pull you out
Scream in your face, there will be no doubt
You'd be better off. Then dead
Years shattered, moments that mattered
Have all been dusted with your heels.
Did you know? Could you see?
I have closed the door behind me.

You called to me; I had to believe
When you cried I'd find relief.
Then you left me to be,
Taking your brutal confession
For an old useless possession.
Because, you said you could see
All the misery hidden within me.

And just because we've agreed
Doesn’t mean that I’ve concluded
I held onto the ugly truth behind
All the words you have eluded.

So bring it on and I will profess
And in turn clean this fucking mess
Of your life; what has become
Of your once upon a happy home.

And I can’t be this anymore.
You know what I mean, it’s too deep.
So in the ditch, I've become the creep
And the moments have lost all their meaning.
Two far fetched visions of one useless being
Breathe while you stand there pleading
For truth. We spill lies so deceiving.

And just because we've agreed
Doesn’t mean that I’ve concluded
I held onto the greedy truth behind
All the words we have diluted.

So bring it on and I will confess
And in turn clean this fucking mess
Of our lives; what has become
Of our once upon a happy home.

And I can’t be this anymore.
You know what I mean, it’s too deep.
What could I say if you fell before me?

There is no time to be weak.
After everything we said, it’s a shame

With all of that cruel intention,
I have always taken the blame.

Funny, I wrote that around this time last year. At the time, drawing upon "only so" recent events and feelings in order to understand the shit I was currently mired in. Words to heal by, I guess you could say. And in case you were wondering, they helped.

p.s. it is or it isn't or it was but not now it can't at once be and not be but it could never have been or what it once was now.