Thursday, May 29, 2008

You couldn't shut me up if you tried.

As any good poem will do, I was moved to another place. Taken back to a day long ago when I was twelve, no maybe eleven, and had spent a good portion of the afternoon alone foraging around in the yard. Aside from some awkward social issues, I was content (even the social issues contented me because it gave me the excuse to be alone). So that particular day, standing in my yard, breathing in the warm fresh air of spring, I recall being rained upon by helicopters. I collected them all in a box, or perhaps it was a bucket, and climbed my favorite tree as high as I could and re-released them to the ground. It was my intention to allow them a second flight, to once again be aloft.

It is amazing how similar we are, humans. Inhale (I’m), exhale (here). At the very core we exist, our attempts to make our lives enjoyable or in some instances passable should be worthy. Take it in, the amazing, the simple, the meaningful and give it away, just the same.

As I have said (and as some have speculated) I am privileged to have a few places to spout off (last count...Three, “oh lucky me.”). Of course, some of my words were never intended to be read by anyone other than the one I wrote them for and in some cases no one at all. These places have never intersected, until now. I have been reminded to rip myself open. So, I have gathered up these words for a second flight.


Her fingers weave through my hair
And her breath is a reminder (that I breathe)
In and out, slow and almost silent

I'm

h e r e


I'm

h e r e


I'm

h e r e



Her evening promise
brings me rest.
When I wake, whenever that may be
I can tell her anything
and she believes
And I understand
the weight of trust.
She begs me for more,
more anything, more everything
and I oblige, within reason
I can give endlessly
and she will return the favor.
She is at once present
and future entwined
For years in the making
and each moment a step
closer to letting go.



p.s. but once I am dead, Dis.



The written word, in any form, is a powerful gift. But, it can also destroy.

7,161 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   6001 – 6200 of 7161   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

taking back sunday said...
Those words at best
were worse than
teenage
poetry

Fragment ideas
and too many pronouns

Stop it, come on
You’re not making sense now

You can't make them want you

They're all just laughing

June 5, 2008 10:37 PM

Again?..*sighs*
they're all gonna laugh at you, they're all gonna laugh at you..

Anonymous said...

Good night, Solly! I hope you have good dreams in which no one is dead or dying. ;)

JocelynHolly said...

Sweet Dreams Solly! *kisses head*
I hope to see you again soon!

Anonymous said...

(this is, this is the last time i still wait for your call)

Regardless if my pictures
they don't line your mirror
Regardless you know that
I'll still wait for your call

Anonymous said...

taking back sunday said...
Just hit the lights before you leave
you know,

the million things you had to say
sorry just,

just might have found its way in there somehow, some
way

But don't worry sweetie
'cause I already know!

June 5, 2008 10:40 PM



*sighs again* I know you know, that I know that you know. Duh.

Smoke said...

Awwww, I can't get mad at TBS. :)

Nighty-night, Mayo, SS and BlogBelieve!

Mayo,

6000 comments, dude. I can't even comprehend it sometimes. ^_^

SS,

You rule. You know that. ^_~

PH,

It was so nice to see you tonight. We do miss you when you're not here. RAWR!!!!

XOXO,
S&V20


Oh and just because I want to repeat it, I ♥ unicorns like whoah.

Night!

Anonymous said...

TBS FTW!

JocelynHolly said...

Princess Smokie;

I'll try not to be a stranger, but I have to go and get some stuff done before I go to bed.

Again, I'm glad I talk to you all!


Goodnight K, MIB, Smokie, Solly, Amy, Taking Back Sunday, and all anons!

<3

Amyranth said...

Goodnight Sol!

PH, I've heard him live with AOF, and I did enjoy that show. Well, the parts of it that I knew anyway.

Although I was still reeling from seeing Anti-Flag earlier. The lead singer gave this big speech about everyone being family in the crowd, and we should be united and not hurt one another.

And then, someone bounced a bottlecap off of his face.

*giggles*

-A

Anonymous said...

mustardisbetter said...
TBS FTW!

June 5, 2008 10:43 PM

Oh and I miss you TBS. FTW!
;)

Anonymous said...

Wha?




Night, Sdock, Smoke, and PH!

Amyranth said...

Goodnight Smoke and PH!

Have a good sleep, the both of you!

-A

Amyranth said...

Pourquoi?

-A

Anonymous said...

Amy, Antiflag is awesome. I saw them with Blink quite a few years ago.They were good.


Eww unicorns... ;P

Anonymous said...

*dances a jig*

sdock10 said...

Mayo,

Yo dude, wassup? You got lots of shit going on, right? Well, stop it! Slow down and chillax a little. Everyone needs a little downtime, ya know?

What am I doing? Talking to you. Trying to keep my eyelids from closing and accidently falling asleep and banging my head on my little computer desk thing which is not really a desk but it does the job and it would hurt just the same if I hit it with my head.

Have I told you lately how much I love a good runon sentence that keeps going and winding and spinning around until it leave you dizzy and you forgot what it was that you were trying to say which probably wasn't that great to begin with except you don't know because you can't remember how it started much less how it would end?

What? Yeah, I don't know. Sometimes I don't have anything worth a fuck to offer you and tonight is one of those nights.

Yeah, well....maybe tomorrow I will be useful again.

Until then, do you have anything useful for little ol lost Solly?

Yes, no, maybe?

Nighty night, Mayo Myster Master Blogger Man.

Love to YOU Always,
S

p.s. Sometimes I forget.

Anonymous said...

Dreams. I keep having one about a plane crashing. Not that I am in it, but that I am really close to the planes when they crash, and it's usually large aircraft that explode. They are the worst dreams I have, and I have them frequently. It doesn't seem that I know anyone on the planes, but I always feel like I should be able to stop it from happening.

Anonymous said...

You'll never take me alive.

Amy, bottlecaps? I hate when people do that. It's not right. Shakes head in disappointment.

Anonymous said...

That's kinda scary.

My first thought was the plane symbolized hope, but that's just my frame of mind right now.

I don't know anything about dreams.

Anonymous said...



It's not that I don't trust you

well I just know what you've been up to
and well this dial tone is agreeing
with everything I've had in mind and you've got your high as a
kite tricks in the bag.

so as his eyes move past your shoulder
and your shades start moving in the
same direction don't worry I,
well I won't say a thing.
and you can't blame a girl for (you can't blame a girl for)
stickin' to what she knows..(stickin' to what she knows)

I hope he takes his time and I
hope he keeps your eyes closed tightly
hope that when he leaves you still
smell him on your sheets
cause I can, I can.
(JUST GO)
I hope he takes his time and I
hope he keeps your eyes closed tightly
hope that when he leaves you still
(JUST GO!)
smell him on your sheets
cause I can, I can.

if I could get to sleep then
I guess you could stop pretendin'
cause if I didn't think you loved it,
well then I wouldn't play along and
you've got your high as a (you've got your high as a)
kite tricks in the bag (kite tricks in the bag)

I hope he takes his time and I
hope he keeps your eyes closed tightly
hope that when he leaves you still
smell him on your sheets
cause I can, I can.
I hope he takes his time and I
(JUST GO)
hope he keeps your eyes closed tightly
hope that when he leaves you still
(JUST GO!)
smell him on your sheets
cause I can, I can.

you're down
for sellin' me out while I
play dumb,
it's cool cause I let you,
thought I'd never catch you,

you'd say "we're only friends."
yeah,
real good friends,
I bet. I bet.

you're down
for sellin' me out while I
play dumb,
it's cool cause I let you,
thought I'd never catch you,

you'd say "we're only friends."
yeah,
real good friends,
I bet. I bet.

you're down for sellin' me out while I
play dumb,
it's cool cause I let you,
thought I'd never catch you,

you'd say "we're only friends."
yeah,
real good friends,
I bet. I bet.

forget your legs around my hips
forget your hands pressed on my back
forget the letters that I kept
this is another I won't send
(JUST GO)
forget your lips,
(JUST GO)
your eyes,
(JUST GO)
your thighs.
(JUST GO)
forget our one last kiss goodnight.
forget me stakin' out your house.
forget I've got you figured out.

forget your legs around my hips.
forget your hands pressed on my back.
(JUST GO!)
forget the letters that I kept.
this is another I won't send

Anonymous said...

It's always nighttime in these dreams, and I am always trying to get to the plane before it crashes, even though I don't know what I am supposed to do to stop it.

Anonymous said...

Sdock,

Tomorrow will be the day our buttons are pushed.

My buttons, your buttons, MissT's buttons, they'll all be pushed tomorrow.

We will spit and spew and get it all out.

Tomorrow. :)

Anonymous said...

Anon, maybe there's something in your life involving other people, or situations crashing and burning, and you feel helpless to do anything about it?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Dreams. I keep having one about a plane crashing. Not that I am in it, but that I am really close to the planes when they crash, and it's usually large aircraft that explode. They are the worst dreams I have, and I have them frequently. It doesn't seem that I know anyone on the planes, but I always feel like I should be able to stop it from happening.

June 5, 2008 10:50 PM

That is terrible. I don't fly. I have never been on a plane.
You can't stop it because you aren't in control. If you can't control it, it is frightening to you.
Could be you want something you can't have.

Or simply don't fly. ^_^

Anonymous said...

That would fit, Kapunua, but there seems to be more to it. It seems like I should know at least ONE of the people on the plane, but I never do.

Anonymous said...

I like to try to put the lyrics the way I hear them, which is weird I think.

Amyranth said...

Anon, I love the passion they inject into their music. You can hear it, and see it at every show. Not only are they convinced of the message they are putting out there, but they do their best to make sure you get little bits of it stuck in your brain , so you want more.

-A

Anonymous said...

So then you see the wreckage of the plane afterwards?

Anonymous said...

taking back sunday said...


It's not that I don't trust you
well I just know what you've been up to
and well this dial tone is agreeing
with everything I've had in mind and you've got your high as a
kite tricks in the bag.

so as his eyes move past your shoulder
and your shades start moving in the
same direction don't worry I,
well I won't say a thing.
and you can't blame a girl for (you can't blame a girl for)
stickin' to what she knows..(stickin' to what she knows)

I like it. ^_-

Anonymous said...

Yes. I am always fairly close to the crash, and it is always horrible. I stand screaming until I wake up.

Amyranth said...

Bottlecap anon, I agree. Throwing shit around during a show is pretty disrespectful. It was a little funny though, mostly because of the context.

I was surprised that he didn't get upset, but he just kept right on talking. Then, they ripped into Emigre, and my spine melted.

-A

Anonymous said...

Amyranth said...
Anon, I love the passion they inject into their music. You can hear it, and see it at every show. Not only are they convinced of the message they are putting out there, but they do their best to make sure you get little bits of it stuck in your brain , so you want more.

-A

True

Anonymous said...

I always get those dreams where I go outside the house and see some big thing come crashing down. Jets, space shuttles, satellites, you name it.

Anonymous said...

Best song ever, true story.

But plane crash anon, do you just somehow know that there's no one you know on the plane, even though you think there should be? Are you certain? Is it just a feeling?

11:00, I have a similar recurring nightmare.

Anonymous said...

Amyranth said...
Bottlecap anon, I agree. Throwing shit around during a show is pretty disrespectful. It was a little funny though, mostly because of the context.

I was surprised that he didn't get upset, but he just kept right on talking. Then, they ripped into Emigre, and my spine melted.

-A

Imagine if he started yelling in the middle of a peace speech? Wouldn't look good. Better to break into a good song.

JocelynHolly said...

Dear Mayonaise;

Long time no talk? Did you miss me? Naaaah, I bet you didn't. How the fuck have you been man?

For the week I managed to keep myself away from here, I realized something. Want to know what I realized? No matter how much I deny it, I care too much about you to not come back. I kind of find that pathetic. I've never had the chance to talk to you, but I still care. Your blogs, your words, are what brought us all here. People chose to stay here by will, people chose to leave by their own will. You keep none of us here.

It kind of still scares me though. The fact that I care about you. I don't know who you are, I don't know anything about you! So why do I care? Why? Well, the same goes to you. Why do you care so much?

I think you might see more of me around here again, whether you like it or not.

SS; *sigh* what the fuck is with the bird call on your profile? I laughed so hard when I heard that. You're an awesome guy, with nothing but good intentions. You're human, just like all of us. Don't be scared to fuck up once in a while. Live your life for you, no one else.

Sweet dreams to all of Blogbelieve;
- Paperheart

toujours said...

i can't scream in my nightmares. i try, i open my mouth and scream with all the force and emotion i have, but no sound comes out. it makes me scream harder, but there's never any sound.

frustrating.

and hello. :)

Anonymous said...

And I actually have had some with, like Jesus coming back and wreaking havoc and smiting, and I'm not even religous!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, me too, TJ. I've had that problem before.

I end up waking myself up because of it, too.

Anonymous said...

I do that too, TJ. I think it's because you actually know you're asleep in your bed and that screaming would be inappropriate, so you refrain. That's just one theory though.

PH m'dear, a few pages ago we were talking about my baby grackle that died.

Have a great night PH, good to read you!

toujours said...

it's awful, isn't it, mustard? fortunately, i don't have many nightmares.

Anonymous said...

The same goes with running and fighting. In dreams, whenever I most need to run, it's like trying to run through water. If I have to punch someone, my arms feel like they are moving through water. I think that's probably because you actually realize you're asleep. yes?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it's really scary, because I think it feels like you have no way to protect yourself, you know? You can't do anything. It's a very repressed feeling, that's the only way I know how to describe it.

Anonymous said...

Hello Tj. That sounds awful. Nightmares are terrible.

I don't have bad or scary dreams often. I have had a few, a demon chasing me trying to scare me. I always am able to beat them down. It is still a little scary when you first wake up from a dream like that, but only for a second.

toujours said...

an interesting theory, kapunua. i sometimes think it has more to do with an internal meaning, though.

i also have had "adventure" dreams -- my mind putting me in a movie, with chase scenes and plot twists and everything! those are fun. :)

Anonymous said...

But plane crash anon, do you just somehow know that there's no one you know on the plane, even though you think there should be? Are you certain? Is it just a feeling?

It's strange, but in the dream, I am certain that it is strangers, and that the plane is full of passengers. The planes never show any type of trouble, it's like they just glide into the ground.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
And I actually have had some with, like Jesus coming back and wreaking havoc and smiting, and I'm not even religous!

June 5, 2008 11:04 PM

That is terrible. You mean religious? Ya, I know what you mean.Like someone disguised as him. Awful.I see. ;)

toujours said...

actually, anon, that sounds like a very postive dream, being able to win out against the demon like that!

Amyranth said...

I have had recurring nightmares that were so bad, I would wake up in the middle of an anxiety attack. This horrible feeling in my chest, like somebody split my breastbone open with an axe.

Thankfully, I haven't had one of those in about 3 years now.

The worst nightmare I ever had though, was dreaming that my boyfriend was involved in a relationship with a porn star behind my back. I dreamt I came home to find him making a porno with her on the couch, and when I started yelling, he just shrugged and said "Yeah? So?".

I woke up from that and almost brained the poor bastard, who was asleep next to me and had no idea WHY I was giving him the hairy eyeball for the rest of the day.

-A

Anonymous said...

Passed out in our school clothes so we'd wake up in our Sunday's best
I never asked for your opinion,
I just got it
and I get it

You move slow like daytime drama
And I'm boring like his songs
So while I'm taking you for granted
We'll be
humming along

Well cross my heart and hope to...
I'm lying just to keep you here
So reckless (so reckless), so,
So thoughtless (so thoughtless)
So careless,
I could care less

Well cross my heart and hope to...
I'm lying just to keep you here
(So reckless)
I'll keep you here,
so heartless,
I could care less

So paint your face up something elegant
And this town maybe
a darker shade of red
Cause a long night
means a fist fight
Against your pillow and my pearly whites
I want to hear you scream
you like me better
on my knees

So let us pray
(we don't believe in
second chances)
So let us pray

Don't you ask me
Don't you move
(anywhere)

Cross my heart and hope to
I'm lying just to keep you here
So reckless (so reckless), so,
So thoughtless (so thoughtless)
So careless,
I could care less

Well cross my heart and hope to
I'm lying just to keep you here
(So reckless)
I'll keep you here
so thoughtless
I could care less

Well cross my heart and hope to
I'm lying just to keep you here
I'll keep you here,
I'll keep you
here

One of us never did it but we're taking it all.
(Well cross my heart and hope to)
And tell me why you never promised that you wanted it all.
(I'm lying just to keep you here)
And her eyes never batted when she said it
It's a long night, open, know it...


(open all night, know it...)
This glass house is burning down
You light the match,
I'll stick around
(open all night, know it...)
I'll give you everything you want
(open all night, know it...)
And wish the worst of what I was
(open all night, know it...)

This glass house is burning down
(open all night, know it...)
You light the match, I'll stick around
(open all night, know it...)
I'll give you everything you want
(open all night, know it...)
And wish the worst of what I was
(open all night, know it...)

Tonight won't make a difference
Tonight won't make a difference
Tonight won't make a difference
Well tonight won't make a difference
Well tonight won't make a difference
Tonight won't make a difference
Tonight won't make a difference
Well tonight won't make a difference

Anonymous said...

toujours said...
actually, anon, that sounds like a very postive dream, being able to win out against the demon like that!

June 5, 2008 11:10 PM

Maybe. Still scary all the same.

Anonymous said...

I've had recurring nightmares
that I was loved for who I am
and missed the opportunity
to be a better man.

Anonymous said...

Hoodoo.

Awesome.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I meant religious, I hate it when I misspell things. Yeah, it always turns out like aliens were using Jesus for a cover to suck people in and then destroy the world or something. I also have weird shallow dreams too, like last night I was in love with this clown/vampire (I shit you not) and was feeling all sorry for him.

Anonymous said...

Plane crash anon, I almost think that it represents a whole big package of problems that you think you need to solve, or like disasters that you feel like you need to prevent happening. Like some kind of unresolved thing involving other people, where maybe if you figured it out the dream would quit?

Anonymous said...

Amyranth said...
I have had recurring nightmares that were so bad, I would wake up in the middle of an anxiety attack. This horrible feeling in my chest, like somebody split my breastbone open with an axe.

Thankfully, I haven't had one of those in about 3 years now.

The worst nightmare I ever had though, was dreaming that my boyfriend was involved in a relationship with a porn star behind my back.


That is scary man!
The part about the beau is funny. I can't help it but I can just visualize it and it sounds funny.Poor A.

Anonymous said...

I know Splash, I love that song so hard.

toujours said...

Maybe. Still scary all the same.

yes. i'm sorry, i didn't mean to imply that they weren't, i just saw a silver lining to them. your subconscious seems to see yourself as a strong individual!

Anonymous said...

I want to make a music video for City of Delusion. O_O

Anonymous said...

And I'm freaking out because most of my posts tonight have fallen on numbers that add up to nine or are divisible by 3 and 9. O_O I'm a little obsessive over that kind of thing. I hit 10,000 on my odometer today, and I wigged out when I hit 9999 actually. I was listening to Diving Intervention.

Anonymous said...

Ask Michael Moore to help.

That was bad, I know. But, you get me. :)


Destroooooy theees City of Deluuuuuuusion

Anonymous said...

Diving Intervention.

Oh, really?

Anonymous said...

And I'm annoyed because the lyrics site gets the lyrics to COD wrong. They have down "I will avenge, and justify my reasons with your blame."

It's "justify my reasons with your blood." Which is so much more effing intense.

Anonymous said...

What do dreams mean anyway? What are they telling us? Psychics and psychologists, and many wise people without formal academic training have been interpreting the meaning of dreams at least since Biblical times. Some people say dream symbolisms reflect the important events of the waking time before the dream. Others say dreams reflect our innermost feeling and attitudes that we may not want to acknowledge consciously. And still others say dreams allow us to transcend time and know our possible future.

Why do people have trouble remembering their dreams? Some people have no difficulty in remembering several dreams nightly, although others recall only occasional ones or none at all. Nearly everything that happens during sleep, including dreams, is forgotten by morning. There is something about the phenomenon of sleep itself which makes it difficult to remember what has occurred and most dreams are forgotten unless they are written down, or tape recorded. Sometimes a dream is suddenly remembered later in the day or on another day, suggesting that the memory is not totally lost but for some reason is very hard to retrieve. Sleep and dreams are also affected by a great variety of drugs, medications and alcohol. Further, stopping certain medications suddenly may cause nightmares. Discuss with your physician the effect of any drugs or medications you are taking.

Do dreams have meaning? Although scientists debate this issue, most people who work with their dreams -- attending the Dream Theatre as they call it, find that dreams are very meaningful. Dreams are useful in learning more about the dreamer's feelings, thoughts, behavior, motives and values. Many find that dreams can help them solve personal problems

What does it mean when I have the same dream over and over? Recurrent dreams, which can continue for years, may be treated as any other dream. That is. one may look for parallels between the dream and the thoughts, feelings, behavior and motives of the dreamer. Understanding the meaning of the recurrent dream can sometimes help the dreamer resolve an issue that he or she has been struggling with for years.

Is it normal to have nightmares? Nightmares, very common among children, are most often connected with stress, traumatic experiences, emotional difficulties, drugs or medications, or illness. However, some people have frequent nightmares that seem unrelated to their waking lives.

Jacob Schwartz

Anonymous said...

Splash, my favorite part of this song is at 4:00. You know exactly what i mean, don't you? ^_^

Anonymous said...

I think that is part of it, Kapunua. I am always alone when I see the planes, and I have about 40-45 seconds before it happens. I keep thinking about the people on the plane and how they are alive right then, but they won't be in seconds. I feel powerless to stop it, and I know there is nothing I can do, but I still feel like I should be doing something. I know there are situations in my own life that fit, to a lesser degree. I just have to figure out what and who I need to help and who I can't do anything else for.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Yes, I meant religious, I hate it when I misspell things. Yeah, it always turns out like aliens were using Jesus for a cover to suck people in and then destroy the world or something. I also have weird shallow dreams too, like last night I was in love with this clown/vampire (I shit you not) and was feeling all sorry for him.

Ok, that is plain creepy.Vampire I can deal with, not some clown thing. They scare me, never did. The dream is just weird.Next time watch something nice that you like and you won't have strange dreams. ;)

Amyranth said...

Hahha!

Poor A? More like, Poor A's Boyfriend!

Actually, I think I take after my mother on that. She had a dream once that our cat was stealing bacon from the sandwich she had made. She went to swat at the dream cat and smashed my Dad in the nose instead.

We're an interesting bunch. XD

-A

Anonymous said...

Plane crash dream anon: I'll bet you anything that the next time you have that dream, you'll be aware that you're having it and you'll either wake up, or stop it happening this time.

Anonymous said...

taking back sunday said...
Passed out in our school clothes so we'd wake up in our Sunday's best
I never asked for your opinion,
I just got it
and I get it

I don't know that song. It sounds cool. Maybe if I heard it. I will try to listen to it later. I promise.I am not the biggest TBS fan.I *gulps* am a fan of....bahaha..other music too. ;)

anima said...

"I hit 10,000 on my odometer today."

Is that all?! Not too shabby!

Hi everyone. MissT, I'm sad that I logged onto AIM too late. A friend of mine stuck around for a while. I did want to talk to you.

So my dad got some news today...it is 30% chance. I am so optimistic. In fact I am estatic, but he is not. Bummer. Not sure what to do. No worries you guys, I am just telling you...always know that I realize that you are concerned. I don't want to bother you. And I appreciate everything. I just need to lift his spirits.

Anonymous said...

I hoped by talking about it that I could figure out what it means and stop myself in the dream. I know that I can't stop the crash, but I hope to stop the dreams, or be able to tell myself it's only a dream.

Thank you all for the help.

Anonymous said...

Anima, your concerns are not a bother. I have been lighting candles for your father, my version of praying.

anima said...

Some people say dream symbolisms reflect the important events of the waking time before the dream. Others say dreams reflect our innermost feeling and attitudes that we may not want to acknowledge consciously. And still others say dreams allow us to transcend time and know our possible future.

Yes. All of it.

Amyranth said...

it is 30% chance.

30% chance is fucking amazing.

A pat on the back for his oncologist.

And a hug for Anima!

-A

Anonymous said...

Ooo, the guitar right there at 4:00? Yhus.


Hey, Anima! Well, I'm optimistic for him, and still sending load after load of thoughts in his direction.

Anonymous said...

Hang on there, 11:26, gimme a minute.

Anima, well I've only had my car since October. ^_^ I do so love it though, it's got attitude. I am so weird about milestones.

How's it going Anima?

Anonymous said...

toujours said...
Maybe. Still scary all the same.

yes. i'm sorry, i didn't mean to imply that they weren't, i just saw a silver lining to them. your subconscious seems to see yourself as a strong individual!

June 5, 2008 11:17 PM

Psychoanalyze me Teej..
Wags finger...maybe, maybe not. "I'll never tell"..in a creepy horror movie voice.. ^_^

Anonymous said...

I agree, anima. YES
All of it.

Anonymous said...

I hope it stops for you too, Plane Crash Anon. It sounds very scary. Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Slowdance On The Inside.

Anonymous said...

Amyranth said...
Hahha!

Poor A? More like, Poor A's Boyfriend!

I meant poor A as in the anxiety attacks.They suck big time. My fault, I didnt put it in proper context. It was an after thought because I didnt type it first. ;)

Anonymous said...


So my dad got some news today...it is 30% chance. I am so optimistic. In fact I am estatic, but he is not. Bummer. Not sure what to do. No worries you guys, I am just telling you...always know that I realize that you are concerned. I don't want to bother you. And I appreciate everything. I just need to lift his spirits.


Anima, dude, the % chance thing is such a crock when doctors do that. They have no way of knowing such a thing. They don't know the ways your Dad is going to try to help himself, trying to fight, the alternate options he has. They are taking a guess. The "percent" if there actually was such a logical thing, would be much higher! DO be optimistic! And tell your Da to be optimistic, too! Because knowing that he can beat it helps so much as well.

Amyranth said...

Ah yes!

Well, an anxiety attack is something I'd never wish on anyone. They're painful, and terrifying. My mother's had a few that were so bad she went to the hospital thinking she was having a heart attack.

-A

Anonymous said...

Anima, when my friend was diagnosed with muptiple myeloma they told her that statistically there was a two percent chance of beating it at her stage.

She beat it.

anima said...

Anon @11:29, as a regular friend I could thank you appropriately, but as an anon, I can only thank you here. Thank you. From the core of my heart, it means so much.

If anyone wishes to pray, or whatever it is you might do, please consider giving my dad the courage, the strength to continue...to fight. I feel as though he has given up and it is breaking my heart. And I know, he will do what it is he needs to do, but I wish he would give the cancer something to battle with...instead of giving up.


...I need to have some fun. I must go back and read some comments...that should make it all better. I know it. :)

Anonymous said...

*multiple myeloma. Damn myspelling.

elena said...

Hello all

The storms are here. Big ones. I guess the weather people wer're right this time.

Anonymous said...

And Splash, yes, the muted crunchy guitar chords at 4:00! I knew you'd get that. :D

Anonymous said...

Hi Elena! Nice!

Amyranth said...

Hiya Elena!

Like something out of the Old Testament?

-A

toujours said...

anima, 30% is definitely something to be positive about!



Psychoanalyze me Teej..

hmmmm, well...

let's start by sitting down cross-legged and making ourselves comfortable on this braided rug here. breathe deeply, close your eyes, and listen to the sound of bells i have playing on the cd. now, let's meet your demon in a guided visualization and have a nice little chat with it. offer it tea, and nilla wafers, and let's find out why it chases you...

:)

anima said...

I should send him a link to this blog. Seriously! All of you are so amazing. Thank you.

I want so much to convince him to not give up, but I know in my heart he has. I saw it on his face last night. Heavy with thought.

Thank you so much. Thank you for letting me share this with you...I don't know what I would do without all of you.

But let's continue onto something fun. Yes?! Alright, let's do it!

toujours said...

hi,elena. do you have your stripey socks on, just in case?

elena said...

Yeah Amy

You know like "dogs and cats living together."

Sorry Ghostbusters moment

elena said...

Maybe I should TJ

There is one storm cell over the town about 7 miles down the road that radar is showing a tornado signature.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Elena. :)



I am not going to be able to snooze tonight, you guys. This caffeine has me all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

Anonymous said...

Amyranth said...
Ah yes!

Well, an anxiety attack is something I'd never wish on anyone. They're painful, and terrifying. My mother's had a few that were so bad she went to the hospital thinking she was having a heart attack.


My sister has them all the time. I had little ones when I was in my twenties. Not now. Thank Goodness.
It is a very scary feeling. You sound like it is really bad. I hope it isn't and I hope it gets better for you.

toujours said...

anima, let me just say this -- your dad may have been feeling discouraged last night, but that doesn't mean he has totally given up. he's just got to wrap his mind around it, and is probably feeling everything under the sun. be strong for him when he's feeling weak, and be bright for him when he's feeling dark.

he'll appreciate it so much, more than he will probably be able to say. be your full self with him, don't hold back because you're afraid of intruding on his wishes. your love for him and who you are --that's your best gift to him right now, no matter what.

anima said...

Kapunua, my dad has had so much cancer removed from his face and neck, it is almost upsurd! Poor thing!

Elena, I'm worried. Keep us up to date. If you need to, get in your car and come stay with me! Family and all. Oh btw, there is a show on the 27th at the Pageant that I want you to come to...just putting it out there.

TJ, I totally felt you. Thank you so much. I wish you were here.

toujours said...

if your house gets picked up in the tornado, elena, try to steer over here in my direction, ok? i promise to not get squished by it.

Anonymous said...

I want so much to convince him to not give up, but I know in my heart he has. I saw it on his face last night. Heavy with thought.

Anima, that could just be normal depression from the diagnosis. It doesn't mean he'll stay like that. Of course he's feeling desperate, low, and "what if," but on the other hand, maybe after a while he will gain his fighting spirit back.

It can only be so scary to see your Dad, or anyone you love, go through that. I'm real sorry. But remember, and remind him, that there's toughness in all Dads and sometimes they have to fight.

Maybe it will come and go in phases depending on how he feels and such. But don't take it to mean that he's given up forever.

And you can tell him I said that, too, okay. There are a lot of good thoughts out there for him.

Yes, on to happy stuff then, Anima! :D

Anonymous said...

Err, yeah, what TJ said! ^_^

Anonymous said...

That's very good advice, you guys. Very well said.

toujours said...

i'm with you anima, even though i'm in another state. :)

i know you can do this.

Amyranth said...

*thumbs up to the Anon*

Elena, will they come get you if it ends up being a Tornado?

-A

anima said...

I have stripy socks on too! Yellow and blue. The mosquitos have already tried it...had to do something...long socks solve it. I actually wore a skirt to work today. I haven't worn one in over a year. My poor legs, so white, so scarred, but I exposed them with pride! (Socks came later of course.)

Thank you TJ, you have no idea how much you mean to me. Your words mean so much. I am hanging on until it is done. He has me to contend with!

toujours said...

Err, yeah, what TJ said! ^_^

lol kapunua! you said it well, too. we always have a different angle on subjects, but somehow usually come from the same direction...

if that made sense?

Amyranth said...

♥ ♥ ♥

Anonymous said...

Horizontal striped socks? There's nothing like them. I've got pairs and pairs of knee-hi socks with horizontal stripes, and they just rule.

Anonymous said...

It's that witchy thing, TJ. ^_^

Anonymous said...

toujours said...
anima, 30% is definitely something to be positive about!



Psychoanalyze me Teej..

hmmmm, well...

Can't we sit by the fire? I hope she doesn't charge me.<_< I can't pay. Our session is over isn't it? ha.
Thank you. I am very good at analyzing myself, be it good or bad. Haven't had one of those dreams in about three years. Watch, I'll have one tonight.>_<

Gee, wonder what kind of happy thoughts I can conjure up to thwart evil dreams. ^_^
You are so cute, you know that? You crack me up.

toujours said...

He has me to contend with!

heehee! fathers just have no idea how determined daughters can truly be! :)

Anonymous said...

Totally OT, but here's something that bothers me. This is from a news report:

Obama is seeking to become the first black president.

Dude, no he is NOT. He is seeking to become PRESIDENT. I'm so sure that he's not going, "I hope to be a totally black president, the first ever!"

Why is this even an issue?

Sorry.

/rant

Anonymous said...

Anima, my thoughts,prayers and heart are with you & your father. Have been since I first found out,read it.
I may joke around quite a bit. No one should ever ignore someone who is hurting and in need.

toujours said...

It's that witchy thing, TJ. ^_^

yep: striped socks, cobwebs in the corners, and opinions by the mile. :)



Haven't had one of those dreams in about three years. Watch, I'll have one tonight.>_<

yeah, but if you do, now you'll turn around and make it have a tea party with you! how will your demon look with it's pinky raised? *giggle*

glad i could make you laugh...i should probably take the bells cd out of the player though, now, huh?

anima said...

Kapunua and to all of my friends, I am trying. My mom is trying. I am going with it. It is his choice. I have tto realize that...but I will never give up, until it is done. Sad, yes? But the truth of the matter is that he will go, whether it is three weeks or three years. I just want him to not give up. I will try my best to get up and running...its all I can do.

I really wish I could tell you all how much your support means to me. It is off the charts. Thank you so fucking much. ♥

Anonymous said...

TJ, I have to somehow get my witchiness back. I used to be a pretty decent witch but then I kinda lost my faith. I don't even remember how I did it.

Anima, you would do the same for us. I don't presume to know exactly how you feel, but I can glean enough: I love my Da and I know how hard this has to be for you. You will hang in there though. And even if sometimes you can't be tough, that's cool too.

Guys, on that note I should get to bed and have some fantastic dreams.

For anyone who wants to call me a fangirl because I dreamed about Adam Lazzara, here's a bullet for you: I've dreamed about TBS twice before! The first dream I had of them was that I was going to watch one of their concerts but they were running late because Adam was a werewolf who kept trying to eat the electrical wires. Hootah.

Have a great night you guys, awesome dreams all around. ^_^

anima said...

Amyranth, I am sorry sweetie, I missed you in my ranting.

Thank you anon @11:56, it means so much. You should consider picking a name since you have been around for so long. It would be great if you could join us. :)

anima said...

Oh, I have pics to put up on photobucket. Ummm, the moth ones are so bad. I hate digital so much...just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

Anima said...
Kapunua and to all of my friends, I am trying. My mom is trying. I am going with it. It is his choice. I have tto realize that...but I will never give up, until it is done. Sad, yes? But the truth of the matter is that he will go, whether it is three weeks or three years. I just want him to not give up. I will try my best to get up and running...its all I can do.

I really wish I could tell you all how much your support means to me. It is off the charts. Thank you so fucking much. ♥

June 5, 2008 11:58 PM

Don't you let him give up! He will go through different stages. He can and will pull strength from you. You need to be strong for him. You will.
He will lean on you and you will be there for him.
People will be there for you too.

Amyranth said...

Aw, nothing to worry about Anima. We all forget from time to time.

-A is researching.

Anonymous said...

I'm going head on out, guys. I wish you all a pleasant evening and tomorrow!


Goodnight Mayo, SS, and all of BlogBelieve.


Anima,

I wish I could be of more help. In situations like this, I'm never quite sure what to say, but I'm a really, really good listener. So, if you need me or any one of us to talk to, please don't hesitate.

Lots love and support to your dad, you, and your family. :)

Anonymous said...

Sorry to interrupt.
Best wishes to your father Anima.

I'm in need of suggestions.

A friend of mine became involved with a new church over 8 months ago. It is more like a cult. At first it seemed like a good thing. Not anymore.

The woman who runs this church fits the profile of a sociopath. I understand most cult leaders are sociopaths.



Glibness/Superficial Linguistic Charm
Language can be used without effort by them to confuse and convince their audience. Captivating storytellers that exude self-confidence, they can spin a web that intrigues others. Since they are persuasive, they have the capacity to destroy their critics verbally or emotionally.

Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They dominate and humiliate their victims.

Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right." Craves adulation and attendance. Must be the center of attention with their own fantasies as the "spokesman for God," "enlightened," "leader of humankind," etc. Creates an us-versus-them mentality

Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and able to pass lie detector tests.

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion, it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

Incapacity for Love
While they talk about "God's love" they are unable to give or receive it. Since they do not believe in the genuineness of their followers' love, they are very harsh in testing it from their devotees and expect them to feel guilt for their failings.

Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. Their skills are used to exploit, abuse and exert power. Since the follower cannot believe their leader would callously hurt them, they rationalize the behavior as necessary for their (or the group's) own "good" and deny the abuse. When devotees become aware of the exploitation it feels like a "spiritual rape" to them.



Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others. The followers only see them as near perfect.



Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blame their followers or others outside their group. Blame reinforces passivity and obedience and produces guilt, shame, terror and conformity in the followers.



I am looking for suggestions on how to get him to take the blinders off before he is emotionally spiritually and financially destroyed.

His wife has left him and his brother and I are at wits end trying to reach him.

Suggestions?

Anonymous said...

Anima said...
Amyranth, I am sorry sweetie, I missed you in my ranting.

Thank you anon @11:56, it means so much. You should consider picking a name since you have been around for so long. It would be great if you could join us. :)

June 6, 2008 12:05 AM

I told everyone before. I dont think they believed me. I am Mel Anon. and also been called Veggie anon and as wendy called me Cheese whiz anon, yuk!
Please do not call me cheese whiz anon, that shit is nasty. ^_^

Amyranth said...

Ouch.

I hope it's not That Which Must Not Be Named.

-A

Anonymous said...

That description of sociopaths sounds like Gerard Way anon.

Amyranth said...

Ah Mel! I've been wondering what you've been up to! How are your plants? Cats keep eating my garlic. X(

-A

Anonymous said...

SOunds like Mayo too.

Amyranth said...

Anonymous said...

That description of sociopaths sounds like Gerard Way anon.

Sounds like the way people perceive him to be.

We're never really sure what he's like, are we?

-A

toujours said...

anima, just finished sending you an email -- you wanted my address, right?


i'm sorry, cult-fighting anon, i don't have any suggestions at the moment -- have you tried looking for any support websites, for survivors of cults? maybe there are some suggestions there for what you might be able to do or say to help your friend.

it's not much, i know. :/

Anonymous said...

This cult leader is not Gerard Way.
It is a she.


I do need some suggestions.

Anonymous said...

I'm in need of suggestions.

A friend of mine became involved with a new church over 8 months ago. It is more like a cult. At first it seemed like a good thing. Not anymore.

The woman who runs this church fits the profile of a sociopath. I understand most cult leaders are sociopaths.



Glibness/Superficial Linguistic ...

I am looking for suggestions on how to get him to take the blinders off before he is emotionally spiritually and financially destroyed.

His wife has left him and his brother and I are at wits end trying to reach him.

Suggestions?

They need intervention. Some cults, whether it is a so called Christian cult or other kinds. He needs to be told.Why is a woman the "head" of this so called "church"?
What you have described above is more common than you think. The examples you gave are not all necessarily aplicable (sp) to this person who is tagged "head of the church".
Some are just power hungry and or money hungry.
Someone like that usually isn't all of those things.
There are mental health clinics and hospitals that can help direct you further. Good Luck.

Don't ever think you know "something" about someone unless "you" really know "them".

Anonymous said...

ManonJ, Gerard isn't actually that bad. Amy is right.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Toujours. I will try to find some websites. I did find a few and they were not helpful at all. If no laws are broken people say they you do much but wait for the victims to come to their senses.

Anonymous said...

Amyranth said...
Anonymous said...

That description of sociopaths sounds like Gerard Way anon.

I didn't think it was about GW? Nor do I believe he is.Why would it be?
I don't know then.I never thought of it like that.
I doubt it.

I gotta go take a quick baff.

Anonymous said...

I originally thought it was a really skilled poke at someone else.

Anonymous said...

Also, my right click on my mouse is not working, and it's making me a little insane.

toujours said...

you're welcome, anon -- try also maybe looking for specific groups that are currently active, like Ramtha, for instance. You might be able to find sites where people are talking about having got free of them...

i'm afraid that mostly it is a matter of waiting for your friend to need you, however. at the very least, you can be a good, supportive example of a non-member, to help them avoid tunnel vision.

good luck to you.

Anonymous said...

Mel anon
Most of those do apply to her.

His wife life left him because he gave her 80 percent of his savings. Her "church" asked him and other members to do that if they wanted to remain in her good graces. They are also asked to give half of their paychecks to the "church".

Anonymous said...

hi everyone

anima said...

Thank you so much my friends. All of you. Anons. Mel Anon. I appreciate everything. I am a little overwhelmed...You are so wonderful. I am so not cool with attention. This was more than I expected.
All my heart, thank you.




So we the topic is cult leaders?
This shall be very interesting...

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
I originally thought it was a really skilled poke at someone else.

June 6, 2008 12:32 AM

It was. That's why I said I didnt think it was about GW. Wow.
Thats why I responded the way I did. Really think people are stupid...

Anonymous said...

Amyranth said...
Ah Mel! I've been wondering what you've been up to! How are your plants? Cats keep eating my garlic. X(

-A

June 6, 2008 12:19 AM

I am so excited. They are starting to poke through the ground. I hope they all grow. Save me a ton of money this year.
Your cats will be healthy eating your garlic. I've never heard of a cat eating garlic.Funny.

anima said...

*delete 'we.'

"so the topic is ...."

Can I get an edit button please?!

Original Punk J said...

Hey all, I haven't read one single comment yet, and I don't even know exactly who's on. So:

HI EVERYBODY! I'm gonna scan back and check the lay of the land. Be back in a sec.

J

Anonymous said...

NO! NO EDITZ FOR YOU!!

Anonymous said...

Isn't Ray Toro the greatest dude? He is so uber adorable and geeky.

Anonymous said...

Hi Anima, how are you? *hug*

anima said...

Goodnight everyone.


Thank so much for everything.
All of you mean so much to me and your words give me strength. I am so lucky.

Mayo, ummm, thinking of you. That's all.

Take care, I will will hopefully see you in the morning.

♥ to all of you.

Anonymous said...

Goodnight Anima, I will be thinking of you!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Mel anon
Most of those do apply to her.

His wife life left him because he gave her 80 percent of his savings. Her "church" asked him and other members to do that if they wanted to remain in her good graces. They are also asked to give half of their paychecks to the "church".

June 6, 2008 12:35 AM

Go back and read what I wrote. You have said what I did about the money. Greed is a big factor in these cases.I am sure some of the psychological descriptions may apply. Not all. I do not "know" her. I cannot say for sure. Neither can you. What we can agree on right now is that they are greedy rotten bastards for doing something like that.
My Mom got hooked on something similar, so I can empathize with you on this. I am sorry.

toujours said...

good night anima. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

Hiya J *big hugs*

Original Punk J said...

Cult Anon, what's the name of this "church" and who is its leader? That might help us figure out some strategies.

Several years ago in a Sunday school class, we studied various cults and the victims they focus on. What's your friend like, personality-wise?

J

anima said...

Hi J (thank you so much for your comment, I cried. :) but in a good way.

I need to call you!!! thank you so much. It was beyond anything I could have wished for and much needed. Please, tell L, I thank her too. I appreciated her call. Again, it was so what I needed. I've tried to call my nephew for his birthday tonight, but my cell phone is giving me shit. I've tried you two, but the same thing. Please know that I tried.

BC, thank you. *hugs* to you too.

Goodnight everyone.

Night Mayo, my friend. Wishing you happy times. ♥

Anonymous said...

Goodnight Anima, sweet dreams. Hi TJ

Anonymous said...

Mel anon
I think you may think I'm talking about something else.

I am actually talking about a friend of mine who is involved with a cult that is run by a woman.

And I have met her. Several times.

Original Punk J said...

Bye Anima! *hugs*

Hi BC! *hugs* Hi TJ, how's work? (Like no one's asked you that already...)
Hi Mel! How's life treating you?
Hi Other Anons! Hope you're well.

J

anima said...

Thank you Anon. So sweet.

TJ, love you to pieces. Thank you so much for everything. Always thinking of you and wishing you all the best (you deserve it!).

Original Punk J said...

Anima, honey, you don't have to apologize for not calling. Believe me, you've got plenty else to be concerned with. Just whenever is good for you, ok? We're almost always here. And you have our cell numbers, right? So it's all good. *hugs and kisses*

You're more than welcome for the comments. Did you see both of them?

Anytime you want or need us, you know where we are.

love you bunches

J (and L from her room)

Anonymous said...

I think I will leave now and follow Toujours and Animas suggestions of checking other websites and support groups. My friends brother and wife did ask me to check every place I could think of to figure out how to help them.

Thanks to those who tried to help. His family and I won't give up on him.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Mel anon
I think you may think I'm talking about something else.

I am actually talking about a friend of mine who is involved with a cult that is run by a woman.

And I have met her. Several times.

June 6, 2008 12:54 AM


I understand.Several times isn't alway really "knowing" someone. Do you want me to argue with you I won't. I feel bad and sorry this is happening. I can say this, half a paycheck or more than half it is not biblical. If it is indeed a so called "Christian church". Show him in the bible where it says to give 10 percent. Show him where it says many will come in my name as deceivers. Look you may want to go to another church that is regulated and known in the community and ask the leader there to speak with this person, your brother I believe you said.That can help alot. Maybe it will make him see that he was being lied to.
I'm sorry I cannot help you anymore, truly I am.

Original Punk J said...

Did everyone leave? It's gone very quiet.

J

Anonymous said...

I'm still here J, just writing a blog

Original Punk J said...

Oh, ok. What did you do today, BC?

J

toujours said...

not gone, j, but i'm trying to find a certain icon before heading to bed. :/

hello bc, and good night again to anima with extra hugs. :)

Anonymous said...

Nothing much J. It's been too hot to do anything, so I stayed home, and then I lost power for about 45 minutes :)

How was your day?

Anonymous said...

I am eating a late night sammich and getting ready to check out Swingtown, which I taped earlier.

Original Punk J said...

Well, I suppose I can always talk to myself, if everyone's busy.

Although it looks kinda weird on a blog to do that.

So I'll just hang out and see what happens.

J

Original Punk J said...

BC, we had company for dinner tonight, our friend J2. She stayed until about 10.30. I went out earlier to buy cat food and some groceries. Another thrill-a-minute day.

What is Swingtown, Anon?

J

Anonymous said...

New show on CBS, set in the 70's, exploring the whole swinger set. So far, at least a good soundtrack.

Original Punk J said...

Hmm. For some reason I can never get into shows about the '70s. Maybe it's because I already lived through them!

Hope it turns out to be a good show, though. Until "24" comes back in Jan., I won't be watching much TV.

J

Anonymous said...

Nah J, don't be weirded out. When there's no one here, I talk to myself. Miss T herself started the revolution ^_^

Anonymous said...

Me too, but I like the nostalgia factor. Although yeah, these people are freaks. Thought my parents were, but not so much.

Original Punk J said...

BC, I talk to myself enough in real life, I don't need to start doing it here! :D

Anon, I'm not much for nostalgia so I don't get a yen for any particular decade. I like the '80s, but mostly b/c of the music.

J

Anonymous said...

Actually, if I had to pick a decade to live in, it would be the 40's, and I'm not even sure why.

Anonymous said...

Let me say this to you all. It may help you understand things and not be so worried about who I am, what intentions do i have. I have no bad things to say about anyone here or elsewhere.

I do not fully open up to you because as you don't trust people who come here right away, I don't trust people in general.
Especially here.Insecure, sometimes, sometimes no, we all have good and bad days.
Yes, I have connected with some of you. I feel I can never let my guard down and let you know who I really am.

I do like to joke around and can deal with some of the poking that goes on here.If you poke, I poke back. I try to play along to a point. I will not let someone, anyone take advantage of me. Neither would any of you like it very much.
I have never said anything rotten or terrible about anyone here.

I have trust issues in general. My friends in real life are friends with me for many, many years. I am cautious in choosing who I let into my life.I can hurt easily when the wall isn't up. It's always up.
When I am friends w/someone I am always there for them and a very good listener, so I've been told. I never talk about my feelings or what I'm upset about too often. Only to a few people.
Some people here are just downright mean and vindictive. Maybe they aren't happy in their lives. It has been proven too many times I have visited,(and others have said this as well) some need constant attention and go as far as playing an anon and answering themsleves if they don't get an answer.
It can be so convoluted here at times.
There are times where I am talking to people,having fun. Only to have someone poke hard and nasty. If I'm in a pissy mood(we all get like that)I dish it back.If you can dish it out, you should be able to take it.

I don't have to visit and talk anymore, if that is what you want.
Did wanna say Thank you to some of you. You made me laugh,which I need these days. Some have been very welcoming. I have been visiting and lurking for a long time. I feel like I know some of you.
This is long enough.

Thanks for the memories. I will check in on you, maybe talk once in a while. We'll see. Goodnite Mayo.

toujours said...

annnnnnnd, i really need to get to bed, icon or no.

good night everyone, have some fun convos.

Anonymous said...

goodnight TJ, sweet dreams. hi veggie anon

toujours said...

that means you, too, mel anon. if you get something from being here, then i think that means you have a place here, too.

that's my blog philosophy, and i'm sticking to it. :)

Anonymous said...

goodnight mel

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, mel anon, if I missed something? I hope you didn't feel taken advantage of. And yes, this place can get nasty at times. I hope you won't leave for good, that seems to be happening too often as of late.

toujours said...

mayo,

i saw the crescent moon tonight. she's my favorite, that thin silver line in the sky, the faint hint of the rest of the disk lit by reflected earthshine.

so beautiful.


so much beauty. sometimes i just brim over with appreciation for it all.

thank you for the beauty you have given me, mayo.

sweet (happy) dreams.

Original Punk J said...

Goodnight TJ, sweet dreams.

Mel, are you ok? Can we help you in some way? Try not to let it get you down, we all go through rough times.

J

ergoproxy said...

hello

just got home haven't even read back or know who's about

my daughter came second in her heat and third in the final of the 100m. and was fastest out of her schools yr1's (they run the 3 schools together)

Anonymous said...

toujours said...
that means you, too, mel anon. if you get something from being here, then i think that means you have a place here, too.

that's my blog philosophy, and i'm sticking to it. :)

June 6, 2008 1:35 AM

Thanks. I have always thought that as well.
Thanks everyone. Anima, I will definately check in on you.
Hi, thanks BC.J, Anon and anyone else. Goodnight.

Anonymous said...

Woo hoo! Go Ergo's daughter! Impressive showing!

ergoproxy said...

oh poo I missed people!

night TJ sweet dreams

hi BC and J and anon and mel anon

mel please don't go, you're fun to talk to

ergoproxy said...

thanks anon she was very proud of herself (and we are too)

Original Punk J said...

Hey Ergo, good news about your daughter! Congrats to her!

J

Anonymous said...

Hiya Ergo. Congrats on your daughter's accomplishment :)

ergoproxy said...

thanks J :)

hows phil and monty? covered in sheep spit?

*waves to sparkle* Baaa

ergoproxy said...

thanks BC!

Original Punk J said...

I've got something on my mind, but I don't know how to put it without anybody having a screaming hairy catfit over it. I know you guys won't, but others may, and I just get so fucking tired of defending myself that I wonder if it's worth it.

J

Anonymous said...

Baaaa baa baaba!

(translation: Hi Miss Ergo!)

*blows very very wet lambkin kisses*

*more like blowing slobber*

*Phil wipes sheep spit off his head, scowls at Sparkle*

*Monty holds Phil back from wiping the spit on the baby*

Anonymous said...

Only you can make that decision, but since you mentioned it in the first place, I suspect you want to share.

Anonymous said...

Hi sparkle

ergoproxy said...

J email me and get it off your chest?
if you don't want to blog it

Anon616 said...

Hello Mayo, SS, BC, Ergo, J, Mel, anon(s).....everyone!

How are you all tonight? Good, I hope! Me, I have a tummy ache :(
Oh well, I'll live -- I think!

Ergo: *big smooooooooooch* CONGRATULATIONS to your daughter!!!! I know you must be beaming with pride. I would be!

*throws confetti and blows blog party horn*

I had some good/to be proud of news too, today/yesterday. My niece landed her first job! She will be a HOSTESS at a very popular restaurant. She's going to make a great hostess! I'm so proud of her. It was her first job interview too! She's thrilled! :)

*pounce tackle hugs and smooches for all*

Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy

«Oldest ‹Older   6001 – 6200 of 7161   Newer› Newest»