As any good poem will do, I was moved to another place. Taken back to a day long ago when I was twelve, no maybe eleven, and had spent a good portion of the afternoon alone foraging around in the yard. Aside from some awkward social issues, I was content (even the social issues contented me because it gave me the excuse to be alone). So that particular day, standing in my yard, breathing in the warm fresh air of spring, I recall being rained upon by helicopters. I collected them all in a box, or perhaps it was a bucket, and climbed my favorite tree as high as I could and re-released them to the ground. It was my intention to allow them a second flight, to once again be aloft.
It is amazing how similar we are, humans. Inhale (I’m), exhale (here). At the very core we exist, our attempts to make our lives enjoyable or in some instances passable should be worthy. Take it in, the amazing, the simple, the meaningful and give it away, just the same.
As I have said (and as some have speculated) I am privileged to have a few places to spout off (last count...Three, “oh lucky me.”). Of course, some of my words were never intended to be read by anyone other than the one I wrote them for and in some cases no one at all. These places have never intersected, until now. I have been reminded to rip myself open. So, I have gathered up these words for a second flight.
Her fingers weave through my hair
And her breath is a reminder (that I breathe)
In and out, slow and almost silent
I'm
It is amazing how similar we are, humans. Inhale (I’m), exhale (here). At the very core we exist, our attempts to make our lives enjoyable or in some instances passable should be worthy. Take it in, the amazing, the simple, the meaningful and give it away, just the same.
As I have said (and as some have speculated) I am privileged to have a few places to spout off (last count...Three, “oh lucky me.”). Of course, some of my words were never intended to be read by anyone other than the one I wrote them for and in some cases no one at all. These places have never intersected, until now. I have been reminded to rip myself open. So, I have gathered up these words for a second flight.
Her fingers weave through my hair
And her breath is a reminder (that I breathe)
In and out, slow and almost silent
I'm
h e r e
I'm
h e r e
I'm
h e r e
Her evening promise
brings me rest.
When I wake, whenever that may be
I can tell her anything
and she believes
And I understand
the weight of trust.
She begs me for more,
more anything, more everything
and I oblige, within reason
I can give endlessly
and she will return the favor.
She is at once present
and future entwined
For years in the making
and each moment a step
closer to letting go.
p.s. but once I am dead, Dis.
The written word, in any form, is a powerful gift. But, it can also destroy.
7,161 comments:
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Cupcake what date is your birthday? I meant to ask last night, email me if you don't want to say here
Crud! I have to haul ass guys, I'm late, I'm late! (for a very important date!)....
Don't you just love Alice In Wonderland?
Take care everyone. :)
xoxo cupcake
Goodnight Cupcake.
Bean and Ergo - oooo, I shall have to try that.
So ' tactile ' Anon, are we playing favourite sensations again?
She is at once present
and future entwined
For years in the making
and each moment a step
closer to letting go.
But, you take it all in while you can, right? You paint horizons, and you jump hurdles, and take freeze-frame pictures of every moment you spend with one another.
She'll always be with you -- everywhere you look, every dream, every mirror you look into. You'll see her.
The instant we are born we start dying.
It's kinda like you see in the movies, Mayo, only a lot more believable.
Bye Cupcake.
Where did Sister Midnite go?
Goodnight everyone. Have a great weekend.
Gah, Cupcake! Sorry I missed you! I hope you're well. :)
Goodnight, MissT!
goodnight missT sweet dreams
see you CC!
Foggy, before you go, are you going to meet up tomorrow?
Hey :) Just randomly popped in to see what id been missing and i am amazed this post is the most gorgeous thing i have ever read Mayo!!
It melted my heart.
Hope to be around soon.
Gotta run but love to you all and take care ♥
Any of you bitches want to AIM with me?
hi and bye SIM hope you're well!
it's gone quiet
Maybe an angel flew over. ;)
i smell like a bag of farts
Ladies, I am ready for my bed.
Good night Everyone.
Mayo - may your helicopters be forever spinning. Take comfort in the little things in life that make it worthwhile.
Good night.
TTFN
Work over, time for the commute.
On my PDA - sweeet!
Love you guys!
See you tomorrow (I hope!)
XOXOXOXOXO!♥♥♥
Night, GS!
HEY AND BYE SIS M! :)
goodnight GS sweet dreams
safe trip home sisM and see you next time
Hi anyone who's here.
I am glad you're ok, Mayo. :)
Just stopping by (work to do) so take care everybody!
Oh, Hi ergo and S&V!
Goodnight GS!
Bye SisM *waves*
Sorry if I missed anyone!
Bye now!
Ooops, Hi SIM and Kapunua!
Take care :)
hi miranth
doodly dooodly doooooo
cheese doodles
Cheese doodles are all that and a bag of chips....just saying and as an added bonus, they leave your fingers permanently orange.
puffy or crunchy
Oh, it depends on my mood. I like them both. But puffy ones are more fun.
MissTottenham said...
Mayo
Words that soak into your heart are whispered, not yelled.
And heart hears truth
Crunchy ones aren't nearly as tasty.
Anon @ 8:21pm, you totally upstaged my cheese doodles comment.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
A heart can hear the unspoken.
RW,
What ya doing? How are you tonight?
*runs away from the mushy talk*
*peeks back in*
Hi, Solly :)
I am doing my nails tonight. Whatchoo up to?
Baking some potatoes for supper. What color ya using?
hi RW
we don't have cheese doodles
Suck. Suck suck suck suck. Harvey Korman just died.
Man, that dude was funny as hell.
You're missing out, EP!
RW!!!!!!!!!
That sucks, K :(
Can't say I was a big fan, though I did love him in Blazing Saddles.
I think we have a similar thing though, whats the difference between crunchy and puffy?
I remember seeing a how they make them show on cheese doodles though
S&V! :D
I gotchoo a lovely silk scarf to wear over your hair when you go zoomin' around town in your pink Cadillac convertable this summer.
I also gotchoo a pink Cadillac convertable.
I remember him but really only from Mel Brooks movies
It's just a texture difference really, EP. I like the softer ones because they melt in your mouth.
That's 2
They puff them up with air like, *POOOOOF*, and then they spray cheesy-shit all over them. Like, it comes out liquid or something, but they are oh-so marvelous.
RW, I ♥ you from here to the moon and back. :)
Bagels - Cream Cheese or Butter
I loved him in Mel Brookes's films and on the Carol Burnett show whwn I was a little kid.
Aneurism, by the way, is one of my neurotic and most horrifying fears.
*squeezes S&V*
I like watching those, "HOW IT'S MADE" shows where they show you how they make shit like that.
Hence the title of the show.
O_O
Bagels with cream cheese and butter. ^_^
Nah, either one works for me.
I could live off of cream cheese.
Cream cheese!
I have tried bagels, I had them with cream cheese, they are not common at all here, you can sometimes buy them frozen, I did make them once though
I like bagels with butter and raspberry jam bestest.
In fact, the line that I always used to say to Mayo: You use your tongue purdier'n a twenty dollar whore,
that line was spoken to Harvey Korman in Blazing Saddles.
:(
Milkshakes or Smoothies
I just tried red bull for the first time O_O Oh my god it's sweet!!!
and it tastes like rasberry juice
I don't think I'm a fan
SMOOOOOOOOOOOOTHIES!
FTW!
Butter and raspberry jam? Yum.
Smoothies
SMOOOOTHIES!
Definitely smoothies. ^_^
Hands down. And I've had alot of milkshakes but smoothies are still the best.
RW I like butter and jam too!
anon
either depending on my mood, meal = smoothie, drink = milkshake
Milkshakes.
Hello,Mayo, RW,Mustard,Ergo,S&V20,Kapunua,Sdock10 and anyone else I may have missed.
All seems to be well with the universe.
Cake or Ice cream
I just tried red bull for the first time O_O Oh my god it's sweet!!!
Do you think it would make a good smoothie?
Hi, Mel Anon :)
Hi, Mustard :)
Ice cream.
If I had to choose. Don't care too much for either. Unless it's cheesecake.
Damn, I'm thinking too hard.
ICE CREAM!!!
Hi Mel Anon,
How are you?
ICE CREAM!
*pulls herself together*
Sorry, anon, but you just said the magic words.
Hello Mel Anon!
Apple Pie or Pumpkin Pie
Ooooohhhhh, hard one.
I'm gonna have to say pumpkin pie.
Apple, only if my mama bakes it.
Ice cream, but only in summer.
*hates pie of all kinds*
Pumpkin, though I'm not actually a big fan of pies.
Good evening, RW, Smoke,Mustard, Solly, Anon
Pumpkin Pie!
It's a shame that it's only around at Halloween!
*throws pumpkin pie at Mustard*
Cuz I can.
hi mel!
RW it would taste like rasberry but it would be very liquid
but if you wanted a caffein hit in a smoothie...I think I'd pass
ICE CREAM!
*eats ice cream year round*
Hi, Star! :)
Hi Star!
Hey guys!
RW, Star, Smoke, Sdock, Ergo, Mel, Anonymous, and Jules!
never in my life had pumpkin pie
Pumpkin is awesome.
*kicks Smoke and does it hard*
Muwhahaha. That'll teach you!
Hello. Food for thought talk. hmm..
Hot brownies with ice cream and hot chocolate syrup. Now that is almost as good as an orgasm. 0_0
Homemade pumkin pie - made from real pumpkins, not that junk from a can - is to die for.
Especially with a scoop of ice cream.
Pumpkin Pie for sure.
mel! I had that last night!!!
Fried Chicken or Hot Wings
*holds Mustard down and makes her eat a pumpkin pie, an applie pie and a piece of mealy-mushy watermelon*
>_<
Not fond of either, anon.
FRIED CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An "applie" pie, you say?
Never heard of that!
Hot Wings for damn sure!
Movies or Music
ergoproxy said...
mel! I had that last night!!!
May 29, 2008 8:59 PM
mmm..lucky. You mean the ice cream brownie right?
Hello Mustard.(Rented fingerz here)
Smoke,
You forgot cherries.
Oh hell :/
That's a hard one, anon. I don't think I can choose.
No brainer.
Music.
ok whats hot wings?
i love chicken wings in any way pretty much, am having bbq plum wings tonight in fact
Music, no question.
music, too many bad movies about though a great movie would outdo mediocre music
MUSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIICCCCCC!!!!!!!!!
Yes, Mustard, an APPLIE pie. Never heard of it? Hmmmm, well you just ate one.
And now you will eat cherries and nuts.
Music. No question.
Food fight!! Throws food everywhere. Cracks the hellup lookin at you all with food on faces and in hair. ^_^
Pulls something like food from my own hair.yuk.
Music anon, music over movies.
Singing or Dancing
And now you will eat cherries and nuts.
O_O
Singing
Hi, Rented Fingers!
Hello Star
Dancing!
Singing.
Even though I can't do either very well. I like to sing. :)
Singing
Dancing.
Singing, but singing and dancing go hand in hand. Don't they?
Hey mel anon!
How are you?
dancing
I can dance really well, but I sound horrible singing.
Ergo, can I just say every time you tell us what you are having for dinner, it sounds delectable!
this is the last one, because i have to go nite nite. thank you all for playing along
Driver or Passenger
I'm good. Thank You Star. Hope your having a good evening
DRIVER!!!!!!!!
Vroom! Vroom! I hate being a passenger. >_<
Passeneger
I hate driving, mostly because I hate having to pay attention.
Passenger. I haven't driven in nearly 10 years.
thanks star! I love cooking
driving definately
Passenger
Aw man...I got booted.
Driver definately
*counts her toes again*
Hi, A! :D
How's the job today?
RW, well, I fought with myself to get out of bed again.
Not to start a pity parade or anything, but I really think that if I don't get out soon, I'm going to lose it one day.
How've you been?
Ice Cream? ;D
-A
This site is slow tonight. I don't know why?! Anyone having a problem loading the page?
ICE CREAM!!!!
*cough cough*
Sorry.
My day was good. Last night was the first night in over two weeks that I was able to get a decent amount of sleep (have been suffering migraines or insomnia lately), so that helped.
Hello Amy :)
Not me, Mel Anon. Though blogger has been known to be a random ass.
Hi Mel.
Nope, not on my end.
Blogger isn't known for hospitality though.
-A
RW, I'm getting the insomnia end too.
I went to bed last night at 12, and I hadn't really slept by the time I got up at 20 to 5.
So, yeah. Sleep deprivaton isn't really helping the situation.
Glad to hear you're doing better though. Are you on vacation, or is it work stress?
-A
Do you get the weekend off, A?
And... what's the newest news with the ex-roommate? Did you keep her tax cheque?
Oh well. Just me then.I guess it's my turn and blogger decided to be an ass w/ me tonight.
I'm still working, A. I'm usually not this time of year, so I think my body's rebelling. I've got less than a week to go though, then I've got about 4 weeks off - I can't wait!!
Mel, it did it to me for an entire week, all I got was garble.
If you can survive blogger, you can survive anything.
RW, I have yet to call her, probably tomorrow. She'll have to decide over the phone if she wants to give me the money, or just have me Return To Sender the check to Revenue Canada.
And you KNOW they'll make it hell for her to get it back.
-A
I hope she settles up with you, A. She owes you!
4 WEEKS OFF?
RW, not fair!
I'd have to suck a lot of dick to get that kind of time off. :P
-A
No dick-sucking required, A. Just work in theatre!
hi amy!
I just stopped to get lunch done
RW, I hope she's smart enough to. Really, I can't do much if she won't, except maybe give her a kick in the face.
-A
Hi Ergo! Whatdja do for lunch?
-A
My turn to not see anything now?
-A
not much amy boiled eggs and mayo and some leftover pasta
(not together)
I hope your ex roomie is agreeable
Totally random, but I noticed this at work today: there's a box in the millinery room labelled "Extra Animal Ears & Peculiar Bits".
I want to look inside, and yet not, at the same time.
I gotta pee...be back soon
>_<
Go for it, Mel!
RW I want to come over and look in the box too!
I think I may have to snoop through it sometime before my contract ends, EP.
This is also the wardrobe that houses Mayo's "Dila" crown, the one he has yet to claim after winning his Queen of FF 2007 title.
Ergo, basic food is the best most of the time. We had Shish Kebab with linguine for supper tonight.
RW, how can you say that?
A box with that label is BEGGING to be explored!
-A
oh yum!
RW I don't know how you managed not to grab it right away and open it! Theatre props etc are the best fun
I think you're right, A.
I mean, some of the things I come across in that place are downright bizarre. That's children's theatre for you!
*inspects her nails*
I'm not bowled over by this new polish I just bought. I was looking for a nice bronze, but the closest I could find was a sort of sparkly brown.
I may have to change it on the weekend.
I just love the label "peculiar bits" like they just had all this stuff and went" Ok that is just wierd"
That's probably just what they did :)
I wish I wasn't having this insomnia problem & headaches right now, because all I can think of is how much I want this contract to be over so I can just rest and veg out for a while. But I love that place!
I have a nice bronze, it always looks darker in the bottle though
and why "extra" animal ears? In case you want a 5 eared cat?
amy nad mel gardening tip: if you buy spring onions (scallions?)in a bunch with roots on just plant them and they grow brilliantly, and you can just break off what you need.
(I just got one from my garden)
I went for it alright. No one left me any T.P! Wasn't that nice of them! The teeny tiny piece they left wouldn't dry a mouses crotch!
I had to all the way downstairs to the garage and hope no crawly bugs were lurking,and bring up three rolls. I know who does it too. I'll get her back. >__<
I folded some laundry while I was down there too.
No TP? That sucks, Mel!
Sounds good ergo. Never grew them before.
RW look in the box.(make sure you keep a distance at the same time you open it) Pieces, parts sounds too good to pass up.
Hey, Ergo, RW, Mel Anon, Amy, SDock, Smoke, (Did I see Loli?!), Star and anyone else I missed.
How are you all tonight?
L.
Hi, L! :D How's things?
I may bring a camera to work next week, Mel, and do a little exploring.
Hello OP. Is that ok if I address you as OP? Or do you prefer something else?
hi L!
how are you and J?
Doing good, RW, thanks!
Mel, most people call me just L. or OPL. Paperheart calls me Opal! :)
There are two of us who share the Original Punks name, my roommate and best friend is J., and you know which is which by the initial we leave at the bottom of the comment.
So, L. would be fine! Nice to talk to you, by the way.
L.
Hi everyone! Just poppin' in for a sec.
Mayo,
Glad to see you back, dude. This is definitely one of my favorites. So, thank you. It's really awesome. Hope you are okay. Oh, and you couldn't shut me up either. ^_^
SS!!!
Hey dude! Hope you are doing okay today or tonight or tomorrow. Or well, you know all the damn time!
Another day, another try. I'm a work in progress! :)
Sweet dreams all of BlogBelieve!
XOXO
resurrected wreck said...
I may bring a camera to work next week, Mel, and do a little exploring.
May 29, 2008 10:39 PM
A camera would be a good idea.
Hi & Bye, S&V! :)
Good Ergo! I tried a new recipe tonight for dinner and J. said that she "bet Ergo would LOVE it."
It was chicken in a white wine sauce with all types of spices.
Very good!
L.
Ok, thanks L.
Hello smoke&venom20
Good night, Smoke. Sweet Dreams.
L.
Goodnight L. have a good Friday
Well, it's my bed time. Got to get my sleep.
Have a good night, all :)
I'm out guys. Sorry about not sticking around tonight. I was cleaning out cobwebs and kind of enjoying it.
I'm going to post my goodnight, and fair warning, it's long and I urge you to scroll right on over it, then head out. :)
Have a nice evening, everybody. See you guys tomorrow.
goodnight smoke sweet dreams
Goodnight RW, feel better.
Goodnight Ergo,L,S&V20 and anyone else I may have missed. Have to finish folding laundry.
Have a great Friday. If i don't get back here for a while have a wonderful weekend.
goodnight RW an mustard sweet dreams
thanks mel goodnight to you too, have a great friday/weekend
Agh.
Sorry, ice cream run.
-A
Good night, RW, Mustard and Mel Anon. Talk to you tomorrow.
L.
L,
The video you and J sent me was awesome! Thank you!
-A
Mayo,
Today, while I was bumming around on the old post, trying to connect to anything and everything at the same time, I was like, "Wow, well. Guess I'll just sit and wait." And then I refreshed, and this is what it felt like:
You know how when you arrive at the airport, and you're meant to meet someone, someone you don't even really know, but they hold up a sign with your name on it? And then you see the sign, and all of a sudden you're like, "HEY! I belong to you...or your sign, but whatever, HEY!" That's kinda what it felt like inside when I saw "Newer Post." My heart and stomach did a funny thing. It was just really, really nice to see you around again.
All day, I've wanted to actually be inside your post, inside your words, feeling what it was you were describing, but I couldn't get close enough. That's only really happened with another somebody, and even then, I didn't really want to be there. I was there. And I miss that, too. I miss the feelings those words caused, and I don't think I'll ever get them back.
It takes a lot to make me feel, Mayo. I can say for certain there is at least one other person here who feels the same. It takes a whole lot, but when you do, it's like flood gates opening up, and it's amazing.
I haven't had anything to say, anything to feel, anything to think about, any thoughts to fight with in, what feels like, an eternity. I've just kind of been here, floating around, trying to find things in the dark with no flashlight, and I don't even know what it was I was looking for.
And I still don't really know. Actually, I have no idea what the fuck I'm looking for or where I'll find it. But, at this point, I don't really care, 'cause, dude? This post is epically amazing, and beautiful, and touching, and full of life. I can't even explain. It made me feel something, even if was for just a minute, and you can't imagine how grateful I am for that.
There's so much I'd like to say about this one, but I think I'll just let it lie. It's pretty perfect the way it is. And I can't thank you enough for sharing it with us.
I hope you're tucked in somewhere safe and sound tonight. I hope you're loved beyond belief and that things are clear. Sleep well, dude.
SS,
Thank you for being our friend. It's corny as hell, but yeah, thank you.
Have a lovely evening and a great Friday. Sleep in if you want. You have our permission. ;)
How have I not seen Donnie Darko before? It was good.
Sorry I can't stay on long tonight, but I will be back on tomorrow. We are leaving Saturday to go to my sister's for my big birthday party.
Goodnight Family, I hope you are well and sweet dreams. I love you all!
Mayo, so good to see you back in here. I admit was getting worried about you too, not that you would abandon us, but that something was wrong. I hope you are well, safe, loved and happy. You make my brain hurt, but I will keep looking...:)
Rest well, Sweetheart, I love you.
SS, Goodnight to you as well. You have become such an important person in my (and you know in J's) life. Believe in yourself. You are beautiful the way you are, inside and out. Love to you, my friend.
I redid the "Southern Accents" video because I had a few more pictures I wanted to add. So, a taste of the South for my Family tonight, (Lovelies, Mayo, SS) and I hope you enjoy.
Southern Accents
And Wendy, TURN YOUR PHONE ON! That is all. Love you, sweetie!
Its all about the love,
L.
Anonymous said...
How have I not seen Donnie Darko before? It was good.
I haven't seen it.
-A
You're welcome Amy. There is another above!
Mustard, I can't tell you how you made me smile today reading your words after Mayo posted. Don't lose that feeling. Sweet dreams!
L.
The wind mixed with the rain that blows in the eight month and ninth month is a very moving thing.When the wind is howling and blowing the rain gusts sideways, it's delightful to take down summer's padded robe from the stand where it's been airing, and lay it over a gossamer silk-like shift to sleep under--delightful, too, to find yourself wondering at the fact that it's suddenly so cool, when it had earlier been so stiflingly hot that you longed to throw off even this gossamer shift.
And I love it when you open the lattice shutters or the double doors at daybreak, and a sudden gust of stormy wind stings your face.
Around the end of the ninth month or in the tenth month, the sky darkens and a howling wind blows up, which spills yellow leaves from teh trees in flurries - a forlorn and touching sight. The leaves of cherry trees and elms are particularly quick to blow off.
Places that have a garden full of trees are marvelous around the tenth month.
have a lovely friday L and J sweet dreams!
Donnie Darko is a very strange but very well made movie.
It's very clever.
I enjoyed it a lot, even though I'm still scratching my head. Amyranth, you should check it out, and you too, Sei.
Mayo, Mayo, Mayo,
It's good to read you back around these parts again. I would be lying to you if I sat back and said that I was 300% positive that you were coming back to us. I just kept hoping that you would. You knew we were squirming the whole time, right? Well, you shouldn't be so lovable and write so damned pretty.
Yeah, I'm babbling tonight. Hardcore. Running over and off at the mouth without any sense of direction or sentence structure. Fuck it, I say. Nobody's grading me on this shit. Are they? Is this a test? So long as it's not true/false because I suck at true/false. There's always that one word in there to purposely trip you up and I read way too much into those teeny weeny sentences. And that goes back to my whole "what is truth anyways?" thing.
I'm writing this to you tonight with no plan. No outline. Nothing. Just talking to you like an old friend. Yeah, I'm the crazy old friend that makes you laugh and look at things from a whole other fucked up angle. That's okay. I like it that you laugh at me. Hell, I laugh at me.
Thank you for your new words and for sharing them with us. You have such a way with words that I am able to close my eyes and be right there with you. That's an amazing gift.
I love the second paragraph. I've said it many times in here, Mayo. We're each other. That's why we get along so great, that's why this place works so well. I could be you, she could be me, and you could be him.
And the poem....breathtaking. And that's not a play on words. I think I'll just leave it at that.
Mayo, I'll shush up now. Hope you have a great night.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Airborne.
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