My heart is a vacuum
and in it a prickly pear.
It is nothing that I swallowed,
it was you who put it there.
In absence of sunlight
it grows and bares flesh
while spines follow limbs
to a fine found filament
of sugar frosted fingers
for my grip almost spent.
It purges heat and a punch
then I swallow it back,
that prickly pear
perhaps, I did put it there.
p.s. it really wasn't as grand as I thought it would be.
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«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 2330 Newer› Newest»Anonymous Anonymous said...
i'm so fat,
my handbag is lined with tin foil, so when i go to a buffet i can stock up.
April 21, 2008 8:23 PM
LOL
In these trouble economic times anon that isn't such a bad idea.
wow, i feel so happy. i totally should go out more hehehehe
Lint?
-A
yeh, why is it called lint?
did you ever get CLINT, that's lint in your underwear.
I got one hand in my pocket and the other one is giving a high five.
...just sayin
alanis morrisette. cool solly,
clint? nah never heard of it lol.
i'm here, i'm with vm (her daughter is a laugh riot -- she's so cute and energetic, a very active 4 yr. old!) and it's been lovely so far -- but at the back of my mind has been this worry about mayo's post. elena didn't give me any details when we were texting earlier.
mayo,
please, are you alright?
i don't like this post, it's disquieting. it hurts to think you are writing from your heart with this post, writing from anger, and pain.
mayo, you know you're not alone. we're your little secret, we're always with you.
you're always with me.
dinner, so i must go. concert tomrrow and i'm so happy to be able to stand in front of this band again, to have my spirit filled.
mayo,
maybe it's not my place, but i can't help but be worried about you tonight. think of us, your lovelies, and take heart.
hello again!
fim how are you? no idea why it's called lint, but lindt chocolates are lovely
hi amyranth, mj sdock anon and anyone else from over the page I said hello to earlier
is elena still about?
ELEEEEENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
i want to go to a curly fries convention.
Anonymous said...
did you ever get CLINT, that's lint in your underwear.
Put the L and the I closer together, and that's all I have in my undies.
-A
hi ergo!
say hi to elena for me -- gottta eat. :
Hallo Ergo~!
-A
hi TJ and VM!!!!
so glad to hear you've arrived safely!
give my love to VM and hope you enjoy the concert, don't let the 4 yr old tire you out, they are good at it!
amyranth!!! O_O needed an RW face!
how are you?
I got my parcel from elena and I'm all happy!!!
Fimble Venom Sock Star,
I ♥ you from now until infinity.
Just sayin'...
^_^
Hey errbody.
Big old fucking coke head. Sorry but that is the TRUTH.
Hey guys. :)
oh anon curly fries are fantastic! have you tried beer batter fries? - oh - I could go all "when harry met sally" over them
ergo, vm says hi! she was just teasing me about stumbling around...maybe i'm not cut out for keeping up with a 4 yr. old?
talk to you later.
hello tj, vm, ergo and smok.
amy, you so naughty lol.
smok, why you love me. wont da rake get jealous?
hi smoke and mustard how are you both?
hello slash, i missed ya there :)
I've got a massive headache, and I could be a whole lot better. :)
How are you all? Well, I hope.
Ah, he'll get over it, Fim. ^_~
So, how's everyone? I just got home.
oh that's a shame mustard! you've taken anything? Hope it clears up soon.
I'm good can't be on long today hubby has a half day so I'll have to be sparingly posting when he's home.
i am ok, had a shitty day but heck what ya gonna do. i am knackered and i need sleep but i need to stay awake a little bit longer.
Cocksicles are good for headaches.
O_o
Ummm, ewwwwww.
hello L.
sorry but i must go, not a good night for me tonight. sweet dreams everyone.
mayo - thank you
SS - i meant every sodding word. i hope you know 'loud and proud' all the way to timbuckto.
sorry guys.
xx
Now how can a frozen penis shaped treat...nevermind.
O_O x Infinity, again.
I think I'm going to go get some ice cream. I'll be back in a bit girls!
-A
Sweet dreams, Fim. ^_^
Anon,
Just ewwww.
oh anon that is an image I did not need!!!
goodnight fim sweet dreams, hope tomorrow dawns better
attention whore shouldnt say sorry.
Mayo,
I thought my bath would make me feel better, but I'm still just like whatever...
If the OPS dislike Jamia that is their right.
Now for the "post" that they made. I almost want to say that Kapunua is capable of faking an email like that because she seems to know her way around blogger. But i agree with what someone said earlier, that if it was a set up and it was by K, it would have been harsher, they would have made the OPS say worse things. Making them say "hypocrites" doesn't seem like it would be worth the effort for such a small thing. I'm not saying I would put it past her but yet...... You know where you stand with her. She's a bitch but she's one to your face. She doesn't really stab you in the back, she stabd you in the front.
Her friends and asskissers the "porchies...." the stuff THEY say on the porch and probably in their cliquy little Aim chats.... you KNOW they are not sincere. They are the type who will come on here, say hi to people act all nice and then turn around and shit on them when their back is turned. They act all nice to the OPS but I bet that when the OPS back is turned, they are not so nice after all.
I'm not saying anyone specific set them up. Or if they were set up at all. Or if they know anything about the supposed shit talking of Frank and Jamia. But alls I'm saying is maybe look to the ones who act nice but you know they hate the OPS anyway.
I am an impartial observer. The OPS could of actually done it for all I know.
Her friends and asskissers the "porchies...."
Don't you mean the Greasers and Socs?
Can I just ask one thing? Anons, I know we have a lot of shit thrown about at times, but can you please leave Jamia out of this. There is no reason we should be discussing her and/or Frank within this context.
TJ, I'm so happy you made it safely! Tell VM, I said hello.
I'm still catching up, and trying to steal a smile, but I'm failing. :(
did you ever get CLINT, that's lint in your underwear.
Put the L and the I closer together, and that's all I have in my undies.
Because it's so totally called for:
0_0
"I am an impartial observer."
Funny, when I read that I thought it said shit stirrer.
anon thanks for the observations, at least they were put slightly more eloquently than many but accusing anyone of anything just creates bad feeling, I am sure noone who is accused of being involved is the sort of person who would do things like that.
I don't know what happened and more to the point I no longer care
hello RW! how was your monday?
so now there's two choices. SS isn't Frank, or Frank isn't some unearthly sweet person who never has a bad day or thought. Which one are you gonna go with. Oh wait, maybe SS's blog was HACKED.
RW, it's true!
I work in a pet store, and I bring my pu- Okay, won't go there, but you get the point!
-A
just a little random question relating to mayo's post...
has anyone else eaten prickly pear?
(you do peel them first) it's actually quite nice, they will be growing around where we're camping this weekend.
We in australia had a huge problem with it and they imported the Cactoblastis sp. moth in to control it, it is one of the most successful biological control programs ever.
Of course SS isn't Frank.
But even so, Frank is renowned for having a temper so not too sure what your point is.
Cactoblastis sp. moth
Coolest. Insect. Name. EVAR.
-A
Oh please, have you not seen the Frank butt kissing on this blog? People act like he can do no wrong.
anon at 9:12 SS and Frank are just people, even unearthly sweet ones have bad days, I really don't see why there is any choice there at all!
Oh right. Ice Cream.
BRB!
-A
Just catching up on today's comments.
Sounds like SS was having as bad a day as I was.
Ergo, I agree. I'm unearthly, have superpowers and I have bad days.
just for amyranth!
actually the name gets cooler now I've looked it up
Cactoblastis cactorum
EP, my day was horrendous! I have a co-workers who constantly flakes out whenever we most need all hands on deck. True to form, she called in "sick" this morning. So I ended up having tot ake up a lot of the slack by working extra fast & putting in overtime. i feel about 80 years old :/
Er... how was your day?
Shall be back soon, must shower...
anima, Do you have a cape?
L I would hope all of us can see past the shit stirring of anons and remain a family
take care!
Ergo, I do have a cape and it is really cool. SS's is much better, but what can I say, guys always seem to have better capes. Not sure why.
Nothing I say seems to make a difference.
Don't you believe that for one second, man.
That's all I have to say about that.
Off to shower...
gotta go hubby home!
back when I can!!
dinner was great! wow, vm is a fabulous cook. i am stuffed. i've been fed so well on this entire trip -- it makes me nervous about the end of this trip....am i going to find a huge cookbook entitled "how to serve man..."
How far that little candle throws his beams!
So shines a good deed in a weary world.
~William Shakespeare
So true, Willie Da Shakes anon.
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. ~Dr. Seuss
I wish I could bombard SS's with inspirational messages.
You're doing a good job here, anon.
Hey again, guys. :)
RW!!!!!!!!!!!
What did you buy me today. ^____^
I hate blogger.
Anyway I don't think SS was mad he was more upset about people who continue to stir up trouble. Much like some of the anon comes that are above.
Now on to the Frank ass kissing. The guy has come across as a nice down to earth guy who has gone out of his way to make the fans happy when he can. What is wrong with showing him some love. It's not like the guy turn his back on his core beliefs.
I gotchoo some Orange Almond Juicie body lotion and some sparkly M.A.C. lipgloss, S&V!
Hey TJ! I'm so happy you are enjoying your trip! =]
...
I can't believe the shit that I just read. Honestly, that is stuff that I see everyday, in high school, where it belongs. This really is getting out of hand! Clearly, no one is going to admit to anything, and honestly, I don't give a fuck. IF SS did post that comment, I don't blame him! I really don't. We all have days where we just feel like shit. I'm disappointed as well. Most of us are old enough to realize when we've done something wrong. We're all mature enough to admit to our wrong-doings. Is it that hard to just stop the finger pointing? I can see why that anonymous was upset and disappointed, because in all honesty, we are ruining a place where we used to consider safe. There are times when this place is a happy and fun place to be. Other times, I just want to slap everyone to try and knock some sense into them. What happened to the laughs? The heart-to-hearts? The parties? Was that all just a dream that I made up in my head? Can we ever go back to that?
In my opinion, we all just need to mature the fuck up. I do like each and every single on of you guys. I'd hate for someone to get upset with me for talking to someone else. I've tried my hardest to stay out of this, but there comes a time when something has to be said.
Mayonaise, I'm sorry if you are upset as well. You too SS. I'm sorry if anyone is upset. No one deserves to be...
xoxo;
- 007
You know, Dr. Seuss reminds me of a couple of years ago when I helped make costumes for Seussical The Musical. When the costumes were done, we were all given big pins with "A person's a person, no matter how small" on them, with our name printed underneath. How I wished I could have gotten Frank's name on one of those & given it to him at PR...
resurrected wreck said...
I gotchoo some Orange Almond Juicie body lotion and some sparkly M.A.C. lipgloss, S&V!
I swear, one of these days I'm gonna steal you away from that old Kapunua. ^_~
** every single one of you guys.
Damn spelling errors when you're trying to be serious!
You're a braver person than me RW!
"How to serve man......it's ...it's...a cookbook!!!!"
*dramatic music*
*spacecraft door closes*
lol TJ love that episode!!
nice quotes anon
RW my monday was good and my tuesday is shaping up fine too!
Not that I do a lot, sounds like your day was hellish, can the person be reprimanded at all?
I hear you, PH. And I have to add that whatever anon it was that dragged Jamia into the nastiness crossed a pretty big black ugly line.
I've seen some really disgusting shit go down in here in the past, but nothing quite as uncalled for as that.
I agree RW.
Exactly, RW.
PH! I ♥ you. ^_^
****round of applause and standing ovation for PH!!!****
Princess, RAWR!
Ilu too<3
:D
RW my monday was good and my tuesday is shaping up fine too!
Not that I do a lot, sounds like your day was hellish, can the person be reprimanded at all?
I don't think she needs to be. Those in charge have been noticing the trend.
I don't think she means any harm by it. I think she's just having a bit of a freak-out over life in general right now, and is coping by not coping (hiding herself away at home, not dealing with the world). I feel kind of bad for her. But I do admit that today I did kind of want to smack her. I got over that though.
Right now I'd just like the season to be over (two weeks to go!). I really need a break. Usually the summer is a slow time for theatre production work and I end up with more time off than I would like, but this year is looking like it might be just the opposite. Aside from the week in early May when i will be visiting my parents, I may actually get no time off this year. Ironically, this is the one year where I could actually afford a bit of time off.
Ce'est la vie, I suppose.
Ergo: =] How are you today?
RAWR!!!!!! :)
*squeezes PH* :)
Hey everyone *waves*
Can't stop, marmite on toast is calling me!
SS, I'm glad you felt you could express yourself openly and honestly with us. I know I always feel better when I get stuff off my chest. It's good to vent.
Also, it's good to see that like us, you have bad days and you get frustrated with things. I know that seems like I'm stating the obvious, but sometimes you seem so damn perfect that I forget you may have things on your mind and that you're probably facing the same everyday challenges etc. as all of us.
My point is, you DO inspire so many of us to want to make positive changes in our lives, to do more for others every single day. I know that you know this. You walked in at a bad time. You have every right to be upset about whatever you want to be upset about. They are your feelings and nobody can tell you what you should or shouldn't feel.
Sleep on it. Everything will seem different in the morning.
RW: *HUUUUG*
You're a braver person than me RW!
Why do you say that, anon?
Ooops! How did I miss you guys, Mustard and MJ!
Hullo! :D
I'm good thanks PH off again for a bit now!
washing needs doing and folding!
Hey Lucy, Mustard, MJ! <33
Bye Ergo!! Have an awesome Tuesday!
Have fun, EP! :)
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. ~Buddha
Hey, MJ, PH, RW, Ergoproxy, Smoke, Mustard, Anon, and anyone I missed.
It seems like it's been an annoying day all over.
But, it's almost over.
SS, what you said made a huge difference to me. You have no idea.
Mayo, I'm still working on what I want to say to you, kid. But, now we will digress and talk about vegetables or something.
Hello to everyone who said hello I was off fixing my self something to eat. I am so hungry.
Guys, I'm gonna go ahead and leave. I need to get rid of my headache. :)
Have a great night, everyone. See you all tomorrow!
*Please skip over what I'm about to post. It's pretty long.*
Hi, Star! :)
Goodnight Mustard! Hey Star!
<3333333
Mayo,
I kinda already said how this post made me feel, and I still feel that way. Tonight will be one of those nights, but it will be different in the morning. It always is.
Whatever it is you’re going through right now, I hope you have someone there to support you, be your friend, be a mentor, or whatever. ‘Cause, I dunno, it sounds like you could probably use some.
Have a good night, Mayo.
SS,
There were way too many places I could start with this, so let’s just start with the most recent.
A little over a week ago when you were here, you said when we do things, we should do them for the right reasons and for the joy that it brings us. That if we chose to, we could be doing the same thing you’ve been doing for the past seven months – giving and giving and never asking for anything in return. You told us that was what this fucking thing called life was all about.
We promptly let you know that we were trying our damndest to follow in your footsteps. We were trying, and we still are. What you’ve given to us, the words you’ve shared, the ideas and the kindness you’ve given and shown to us, it’s all irreplaceable. And damn it, dude, you know it.
The very next day after you posted that, I tore off a slip of paper and wrote on it “One Selfless Act,” then I put it down on a nearby table. I don’t know who found it, what they did with it, or even if they did anything. But, I did it.
Just recently, I found out about this man, a man whom I’ve never met, that needs a transplant but he doesn’t have enough money for one. I’m sending this guy what money I can give, because it’s the thing I should do. I don’t know that it will do any good, but it might buy the guy a meal or something. I don’t know.
The point: I wasn’t lying when I said that you had helped start a change in us. And I’m not talking out of my ass when I tell you that you should be proud of yourself and the changes you’re making in people.
So, know that your words carry value and that what you say does make a difference, and please never think otherwise.
Please have a good night. See you around.
Headache, Mustard? :(
Have a good rest, eh :)
“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin to Pooh”
Goodnight Mib
Winnie The Pooh quote for the win!
Mustard,
Beautifully, perfectly said!
Feel better!
AND... If I could do that heart graphic thing, I would.
I HEART YOU, MUSTARD!
Okay, ice cream sandwich still counts as ice cream.
And Cactorblastis Cactorum sounds like what Mayo needs to get that poky pain out of his chest.
...
Well, maybe eating bugs isn't the best way to go about it, but they do say that if you eat a fistful of bugs first thing in the AM, nothing worse will happen the rest of the day.
-A
Words to live by, A.
Mustard, you truly are an amazing fucking person, you know that right? Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
I guess I'm off as well.
SS, Mayonaise, you both are two of the most amazing dudes I know. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. By, meeting you guys, in a way, I've learnt so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you hear this all the time; but I'm 15. Every little thing at this age, has a sort of impact on my life. No matter what anyone tells you guys, you both hold so much value to these blogs. Mayonaise, without you, I wouldn't have met any of these people who I've grown to call family. Fuck, I didn't really even know how to define family before September! We've all come an awful long way since then. I don't recognize myself. I've changed, for the better. I've been corrupted in the right way. All thanks to you, Mayonaise, and you SS, and everyone on these blogs.
I feel like I don't appreciate these blogs as much as I should. Sometimes I don't think that I give thanks for meeting the people I have. You've all said something to me, that has definately help shape who I am today. And secretly, I really hope that I've done the same for at least one of you.
With that, I am off to practice my guitar, and then maybe sleep.
Sleep well, or have a great day, depending on your timezone.
xoxox;
- 007
<3
So true RW.
Man, that sandwich was good.
So anyway, the snow hasn't really stopped. It's lighter now that it was, BUT it's still SNOW.
Agh. I want my spring, goddamnit!
-A
Have a goodnight, PH :)
Well, I'm off too. More costuming madness in the morning - oh, hurrah :/
Goodnight, all :)
“A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.”
-Pooh
Goodnight ph. I am so hungry. When is my food going to be done.
Goodnight, RW! I hope tomorrow is better! Poke that icky co worker with a pin if she bothers you, okay?
Just kidding! Try to have a nice day!
Amyranth, I would be losing my mind if it was still snowing!
Pooh was a wise little bear.
*lurking, but signing off now...*
Later :)
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" - Gandhi
^A personal fave.
*shuffles off to bed*
It's about that time. Sleep-sleep!
Mayo,
Ummm, what? O_o
Have a nice night, dude. Sorry about all the stanky-ass shit thrown about. It's gross, right?
Yeah, it is. And I don't like stanky-ass shit. Anyhoo....
SS,
You have every right to be upset. I'm not going to tell you any different. Just read what Fimble, Paperheart, Mustard and Lucy Lu have wrote to you. And I'm sure there are and will be lots more. Read them and believe them. You have made a difference. You have taught us about hope, faith, love, compassion, generosity and how just a kind word can turn someone's day around. You did that. So don't you ever say that your words haven't made a difference. We are proof that they have. No doubts, okay? I just hope you're alright. Again, I'm sorry.
Night, BlogBelieve. Sweet dreams!
XOXO
Goodnight RW. Food where the hell is my food
Star,
LOL, you're not from Canada are you?
I'm just bitter because a week ago, it was 22 degrees outside and I got a sun burn.
Now, it's -22 outside, and I almost got frostbite.
I wish Alberta would make up it's mind!
-A
Martha,
I ate it. I'm sorry.
GOODNIGHT!<3
Goodnight s&v
No, Amyranth, LOL!
I'm from NJ. I think it snowed once here all winter. It was about 70 degrees today.
My main pet peeve about winter/cold weather is that I am very spazzy and don't do well walking on ice.
haha ph . now you must die
ok I lied...
Rw perhaps the admin can offer some counselling if it's affecting her and everyone elses work.
I bet you are looking forward to the break, and you'll have to plan something monumental for next year to make up for the lack of vacation this year!
hello Lucy
hi star
sorry got called away in the middle of that
Johnny Rotten was out and a bunch of 12 year old girls were making fun of him.
Hey guys, what's happening?
J
goodnight PH RW mustard smoke
and mustard that is a lovely thing you're doing
sweet dreams to you all
SS you do make a difference, see?
pooh was a very wise little bear!
MJ you are hungry tonight!!
Um, hello?
J
HI J!
oh MJ just a thought ..can you line a purse with foil and find a buffet?
*note to self*
foil lined purse
*sticks note in restaurant listings of phone book*
Hey Ergo, and Martha and Amy and Star. You girls ok?
J
I'm good
off to housework again though!
I'll be back *in best terminator voice*
hello j.
The only buffet we have near by is home town and I don't like them
See you later, Ergo, I'll probably be around after 12, too.
Guess I'll hang back for a while.
J
OM NOM NOM.
Anyway, I'm going to kick off too. I need to have a bath, badly. I'm just taking way too long to warm up.
Goodnight Lovelies!
Mayo,
As soon as I read "prickly pear" I immediately thought "The Jungle Book". Did you ever see that movie?
The line that talks about prickly pears is in the song "The Bear (bare) Necessities".
(As much as I liked that song, Bagheera was my personal favorite)
Anyway, the song talks about how having the basics, or the bare necessities should be all you really want in life. Incredibly true.
As long as you've got clothes on your back, food in your belly, and a roof over your head, you are more blessed than you will ever know.
Everything else comes in time, Darling Mayonaise. In time.
SS,
Thank you for finally saying SOMETHING.
Now, go have a cup of Lavender Tea, and a nice, long sleep.
I'm about to, and it's going to be frigging worth it.
Also, re-watch The Jungle Book. I never realized how good that movie was.
Goodnight.
-A
Okay, whoa, it looks like I'm glad I missed a lot of things. Okay,cool, whatever. THe one thing that bugs me is SS being used as like a pawn to make people feel badly. Not only is that a mean thing to do to him, to put him on the spot like that, but it also puts him on a pedestal. He's not a chess piece, nor is he Ghandi. Honestly, would everyone have their pee in a dazzle if it was anyone else who'd gotten upset? Seriously. It's unfair to SS and to all of us.
Moving on.
Today I spent with Jo-chan mostly playing video games. I went to Kung Fu even though the school is closed for Spring break. A few of us faithful students showed up anyway and opened the school. We did both staff and sword; I was so thrilled to be doing sword again. I've forgotten almost the entire effing form which bummed me out, but I'm relearning it. Also, while doing the butterfly move with the staff, I whacked my knee so hard with it that the sound of it echoed through the parking lot, and everyone stopped what they were doing to make a collective hiss of sympathetic pain. I've got a bump on my knee so huge it looks like I'm growing another leg. Not nice.
Had ice cream, watched House with Jo-chan and said good night to her. I won't get to see her for another couple of months; this really, really bums me out.
DON'T BOTHER READING THIS. It's just me whining.
The other thing that happened today, as I mentioned, was finding out that they do not have that education program I was looking for, anywhere around here. My only option now is to just finish up and get my master's degree. You know why that's so daunting? Because taking the course to get the certificate would have been just that: Taking a course, getting certified. This, though? This is going back to school.
This, of course, leads to too many questions for me to fit into my head. Like for instance, okay, true story: my cousin, at 35, decided to stop bouncing around from job to unsatisfying job and go back to school. She decided to be a psychologist; two or three years for that. Well, as of now she's 37 and she's almost done. She's almost there, going to be a psychologist. Which would be great and all except for the tiny matter of her absolutely hating everything about it. Uh huh, she's this close to her degree and she's not happy.
Well, what if?
On the other hand, what if this is really what I want to do? What if it's the right thing? When I was first talking to Star about this, all kinds of lights were lighting up. I thought about nothing else that entire night, nor the next day. I was having like actually full-on fantasies about what I would do if I was a teacher. How I would be different. What I liked about teachers who had inspired me; what I hated about ones that did nothing for me. In my mind it was idyllic; I had it all worked out.
But you know its never like that in real life, right?
Man, I just don't know. It's such a big decision. I know that for most people it would be a small matter. I get that. People make bigger decisions so much quicker all the time. People switch jobs, have kids, get married, move to a different state, go back to school, all with so much less fuss than I'm making over this. I know that. I must sound ridiculous. Maybe I should take it more lightly.
I just dunno!
I can't write about this in my journal because my bosses lurk there, and even if I locked them out of the entry, someone would eventually make a comment about it on an unlocked entry and, well that would be awkward at least.
There are actually so many other factors to this that i just don't even have the time or energy to write about and I've already taken up too much of your space with this, Mayo. Sorry about that.
Will say my goodnights and be off. :D
Goodnight amy
Hello Kapu
Well i finally ate so I will be off to bed soon.
Mayo, I suck at this. So much is going through my mind....
I want so badly to tell you all that I feel, but it will only come out as giberish. I hope this makes sense.
Please just know that I care about you. I care for a lot of people here. Strange to think I've never seen their faces, nor have I seen yours.
Two I have, and it was amazing. More than I ever expected. That is the beauty of this place.
You are no different; I may never know your face, but I know you and I care about you. I can't thank you enough for this place, I can't thank you enough for sharing yourself with all of us. You once mentioned that we 'inspire you in so many ways.' I hope that is still the case. The feeling is mutual.
We all get a little off track once in a while, but this is life. We are who we are and you are who you are. The beautiful parts, the ugly parts, with all their imperfections, baggage, and scars, is what makes up each of our beings. No one is better than the other; equal; we are just here. For some reason or another we came here. You too. What are we seeking? I may not know that (I'm still searching), but I know what I ended up with and it is comforting. I hope you always find comfort and friendship here.
Sweet dreams to you my friend. I only want the best in life for you. You deserve it. Remind yourelf incase you forgot. ♥
Mayo,
So, I guess you had a meffer of a Monday like I did. I was going to try and just leave you with another..whatever, but you know I can't do that. And apparently I can't type tonight either, so this could be interesting. I mean when have you ever known me not to at least try and address your posts directly??? Um, how about like...never? Seems sdock10 always has something to throw in there no matter how completely off target it might be.
Mayo, I let my heart tell me what to say. Sometimes it gets it right. Sometimes it doesn't, but the feeling is always in the right place.
So your heart is a vacuum? Now, I'm not sure if you are meaning a hoover kind of vacuum or one those empty space vacuums. Either way, I think there's more in your heart than a prickly pear. A prickly pear would be nice, though to have in your heart. I guess it could sort of keep people from getting too close. You could try and blame others for putting it there, but really is it anyone's fault? Maybe life put it there. Those thorns. Do they poke you at night? Keep you awake? The pain in your chest. You can't wish it away. You can't vomit it away. You can't rip it out of your chest.
Because the fact of the matter is, you like the prickly pear. It's yours. It doesn't take much to keep it thriving. It pokes you to let you know you are still alive. You like that it keeps others away. You like that people can get close, but not too close. They will leave you picking thorns out of their hands. And you like it, because no one can take it from you.
And you couldn't kill it if you tried.
Mayo, hope you have a good night. I don't know if anything I said makes sense, but maybe you can find something useful in there.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Ouch.
Goodnight kapu and SD
Martha, I meant to ask you before, how are your headaches? What did your dr ever decide about the cause?
J
They couldn't find anything. So I just stay away from caffeine and drink a lot of water. And take my medication.
At least you're getting some relief, though, and that's good. Did you ask about the occipital nerve syndrome, like L has?
J
Before I go I leave you with this
http://www.buzznet.com
/tags/gerardway/photos/many-faces-
gerard-way/?id=45185141
If it doesn't work go to the picture part in the GW part of Bn.
Mayo, I found it! This is the story that this post randomly brought to mind. I can't even tell you why; it was th first thing that I thought of when I read it this afternoon, all distracted. I hope you don't mind.
Moonflower by J Timothy Hunt
White as paper, it lay wedged in a distant nook of the chasm, a strange symbol of organic life on a supposedly lifeless moon. It was beautiful. White lace leaves and white stick stems, the flower rose from the crevice, showing its spherical buds to the glow of the gas planet. Christopher stared agape at the plant, not knowing whether to cheer or run.
All around the base of the plant was a layer of grey dust and several long, bone-like stones. Chris knelt beside the flower and cautiously ran a gloved finger along the prickly stalk. The filigreed lace of the leaves and the whiteness of the buds and stalk looked like petrified white fur, freeze-dried and long dead.
Once he realized the moonflower was not alive, Christopher snapped off a stalk with the largest dried bud and took a careful sample of the lace leaves. These he dropped into a specimen pouch attached to the hip of his suit and then, tying the Telfano filament around one of the long white stones from the plant's base, tossed the lifeline up and over the cable bridge above.
Christopher climbed the rope and did not look back to see the small drop of red rising from the broken stalk of the moonflower.
Well, he pricks his finger on the moonflower and then things begin to happen. I don't want to give it away. It's a great story.
"The moonflower. It was like we were married. Somehow. It's hard ... I don't have a word for it. It was like, like love. It wanted my love and it wanted to live."
I couldn't remember the name. But I need to email my Dr so I will ask when i get around to emailing her.
Cool. Hope things continue to improve for you!
I'm gonna just sit back for a while, since everyone's gone. Night, Martha, have a good one.
J
Thank you J. I will be on late on friday and than in mid may I will be on vacation for two weeks. So I hope to be able to stay up late again with you guys soon.
Goodnight
Things that give you confidence -
To be comforted when you're feeling low, by someone you truly love.
There's nothing more wonderful than to be well-loved, not only by parents but by the one you serve and by all those you have close dealings with in life.
It's unusual to find someone, either a man or a woman, who's overall both tender-hearted and truly talented - though actually there must be many such people around.
Well then Mayo, I'm sorry for spamming up your blog with my quandary and perplexity and my way of making things complicated that other people do with ease. None of that has anything to do with you. I do hope you like "Moonflower" thought. ^_^
I'm with most everyone else; this post is sad and I don't quite get it. I'm sorry. Well, for both things actually Mayo. And I honestly hope that if general concensus has nailed this one, that things turn around for you again soon. Take care Mayo, and dream of delightful things. Like perhaps flowers and fruit that are not sentient but rather are innocuous and pretty. ;D
S(S)S, Sei Shonagon had some messages for you, I hope you got them. Take care, and remember: you mean a lot to most of us. Well hell, most of us mean a lot to most of us. And crap happens. There's a little meme / caption thingie that goes around boards and stuff sometimes, it reads, "Forget it, Jake. It's the internet." There's always going to be anons and slagging and drama wherever you go; wherever people can be anonymous. Youknowwhaddimean there? But, we are all right, and we value you. As far as this blog goes, there are friends I've found here that have gotten me through rough days, through crappy work days, through little mini-crises. They have made me laugh. They have made me think. Lookit what's going on with this thing with going back to school! You know why that is? Because STAR here planted that seed! That's the magnitude of what happens here. Well, I know that's small beans to most people but to me it is a big step to even consider, you know? Well, that's the kind of friends I have made here, and I count you among them. As always, I tip my hat to you, my good gentleman.
BlogBelieve, good night. Why does it have to be only effing tuesday? Damn.
Oh, here's what happens when I check the news before bed! I wanted to share this with you guys.
Stephen Hawking says primitive alien life must exist.
Given the size of the universe, it is unlikely that Earth is the only planet to develop some sort of life, Hawking told an audience at George Washington University in Washington, D.C.
Dude, I've said that for years. THe universe is effing HUGE, how unlikely would it be for Earth to be the only place where life exists? It's the law of averages. That does not mean that they go around buzzing trailer parks and anally probing people, but seriously, it has to be out there somewhere.
Well, okay I'm done for real. On that note, good night. ^_^
SS, my friend, I wish I could give you a huge hug. The thought of you being upset and disappointed breaks my heart. Would you believe that it took everything within me not to cry in front of the computer today? I felt silly for feeling so much sadness, but it overwhelmed me. I believe I was not alone then, nor as the evening moves on am I alone in contemplation. I continue to feel absolutely helpless. Kind of like trying to scream a dream.
Please hang on. Don't let go. You are a part of this. Without you, there would be an unfillable void. I imagine it is that way with your 'real' life family and loved ones. You are a truly unique person and you inspire beyond expection, and with so much selflessness.
I could go on and on, but I digress, only to leave you with my mixed-mush of thoughts. ♥
Hey everyone....
Crap what a day....
Too much to say, not enough sense to keep quiet. That's me in a nut shell. But for now I'll try to be quiet so I can get my work done. Poor Mayo, he's so gonna hear about my day later tonight. Sorry Mayo but you gotta know by now when I need to talk, I talk to you.
Anyway I hope this works.....
Lovelies Waiting For the Bus
So I say to myself, "Self, why didn't that work?" and Self says "Hell, if I know."
One more try.
Lovelies Waiting For the Bus
goodnight everyone leaving
elena it didn't work :(
can I help you do it?
or it's (a href="the url make sure it has the http bit too") the bit you write(/a)
but put <> instead of ()
did you get my email! I love the shirt, patches and book but the shark horror ball is BRILLIANT!!
Damn, I have a fuck-ton of errors and repetition.
And I'm sorry for not saying hi to everyone, I just needed to get all of that out. Not that I said much, but regardless, if I think about it too much, I will never say anything. ^_~
oh yay for the 2nd go!!
it's lovely!
well said anima!
Hey Ergo and Anima
Ergo I think the second time works. Crap I need TJ here to help me with this.......But no, she's off having fun while I'm here talking to myself.
Anima It's good to get your thoughts out of your head. How are you doing? Feeling better?
Spotlight Seaker, you is the biggest Spotlight Seaker out there. And there is alot, dude.
I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Thanks you guys.
Elena, I was feeling better today. It has taken a nose dive in the last hour. I think I just need to take some medicine and go to sleep.
Hey Elena, Ergo, Entropy, Anima, and Anon. Thought I'd wander back in for a while.
J
anon that's lovely but is this the place?
I hope you tell whoever it is the same
Name the movie that line is from
Hey, J! And Ergo, Anima, Elena!
When Harry Met Sally
j
Oooh, can I! When Harry Met Sally.
Right?
J...You are amazing...very good!!!
TA VMPR
J is speedy.
Anon, I can't think of it. I hate to resort to googling. I will totally kick myself.
Damn! I was so thinking that.
Entropy...you came in second...but I will give you the benefit of the doubt ;)
Thanks, you dead thing you. ;)
E, I is speedy.
J
Night Elena, Entropy, J, Ergo, and Triston.
Night Mayo. Sweet dreams.
Night Anima, sleep well.
J
Night Anima
Sleep well...
e-mail me if you get a chance.
Hope you feel better tomorrow
Pleasant dreams and leave a window cracked for me!!
HI triston!
*facepalm* never even picked it !
and I mentioned it earlier!!
Elena, your picture of you and TJ is so sweet. I know you're gonna miss her.
J
lol..Ergo did you really...That is a classic line!!
...A Classic movie...Billy Crystals on the tube right now and it reminded me of it!
Night, Anima. Have nice dreams and a better day tomorrow.
Boy, we're the life of the party tonight.
J
Aren't we, though? It's awesome.
Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was
comin' back, from the island of Tinian Delady, just delivered the bomb. The
Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in
twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger.
Thirteen footer. You know, you know that when you're in the water, chief? You
tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. Well, we didn't know. `Cause our
bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh huh.
They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The
sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know
it's... kinda like `ol squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like
the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark nearest man and then he'd
start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go
away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right
into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...
lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't
seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white.
And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean
turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in
and rip you to pieces. Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred
men! I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand! I don't know how many
men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin' chief, I bumped into a
friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, bosom's
mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and
down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well... he'd been bitten
in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura
saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He'd a young pilot, a lot younger than
Mr. Hooper, anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat
PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most
frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So,
eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out,
the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.
I already miss her J
We had so much fun just being goofy together.
This one might be a little harder...what movie?
mayo,
just re-reading your post.
you know what?
you're not a bad man, mayo.
you're not a bad man.
so now, my friend, my travel agent, i'm sitting in front a whole 'nother computer in a whole 'nother city, in a whole 'nother state, a whole 'nother blogsib giggling at my side, and it's all. your. fault.
and i like you for it.
i don't know what's going on in your life that you wrote those harsh words, i don't know if it's a reaction to some personal conflict or a reaction to some of the blog mess that's been going on (which i admit i took part in the other`day. i just had to speak my mind, and if it offended you, i apologize), but you have a right to your anger and you have a right to your pain, but dammit, you are ot a monster. you are not a bad man.
i refuse that.
Jaws.
J
JAWS!!!!!
ask elena! I am a Jaws nut!!
Let's move on to the next page.
Ready?
One...
J
Two...
J
Two and a half...
J
Three!
J
hey elena -- weren't you supposed to post the other picture?? you know the reeeeeeeally good one?
not that that one was bad, necessarily. *preens*
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