A secret? Sometimes I can be so full of myself that I am able to pretend that nothing else matters, when I know that it does. “I need to hear it back.” Can you consider what type of person would challenge irrational fear, to face inevitable embarrassment, because of that need? What drives someone to stand as a target, exposed and almost transparent? Fuel.
The question is this…what do I really have to say? I shout off, in part, to bolster my ego. We can safely assume that you are aware of my requiring a little extra fluffing. But most importantly, I self examine past and present. And yes, sometimes I am so ridiculous that I laugh at myself.
(I mean really, am I that much of a _______________ (insert derogatory explicative)? Perhaps, I am. But lately, I have been ending the day with a “yes, I was”. So again, contradiction is my burden. What you do with that knowledge is your own business.)
A truth? We all will die. For some, there is a need to find every little piece of evidence to the contrary. I admit that I have been guilty of this myself. I have been so turned inside out with the need for truth that I challenged every bit of logic I encountered. I do not know exactly what truth is, but I know my perception of it might differ from yours. My truth may be painted in a different hue. Slightly off color, but still my truth just the same. And I will stand by it, fiercely.
The question is this…what do we believe? We gather what information we can and draw our own conclusions. We each have our own experience from which we base our assumptions. As long as I have been alive I have registered every moment and from that registry I claim truth. This is obvious and I am ridiculous, really.
I would like to return to the original idea of secrets. I keep most of mine safe from prying eyes. Embarrassing little fuckers, aren’t they? But, by allowing one, two, three, and now four of the darkest their freedom, I have learned something about truth…how important it is to face our own.
What matters to me is this…I hope you read truth here. And by here, I do not mean exclusively my capricious chatter. From my corner, I attempt exercises in poetic candor. Some of it is written for me, some for you, some for them, some for him, and some for her (in no particular order of importance), but never with expectation. I use the freedom I have here to sort out some of my more dangerous secrets and truths.
I have this last little bit for you to use in order to paint me in your own hue of truth (and it is no secret)…
I am porcelain and black as night. I can be as subtle as a 747 and as fragile as double reinforced steel. But nevertheless, I can be poked all the way through and then the light will shine through me. With that light, I am able to produce a force greater than I deserve.
p.s. that place, it is cold and crowded, rough and smooth, and filled with impossible demands directed by my own hands. It is closer to the bottom than I would ever chance to be. It calls, but doesn’t give warning. It immediately holds secret and truth. It is where the unraveling begins and ends.
For those of you that have recently (or even not so recently) lost a family member or a friend, I am deeply sorry.
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`sc
Damn, I am up late.
oh mayo, there is so much here that makes my heart beat fast. i'm going to have read this over and over...
thank you. i didn't have to wait long for new words, did i? i feel like you just gave us so much.
have you stayed? or have you gone to rest your bleary eyes?
I don't mean to be flippant, but all I can think of is Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer when he says "I AM an asshole!" Not that I think you are, but it's just what it reminded me of.
Hey, you were right, I can't beat that! 'Cause of the zones and all!
That's right! Who is the most sleep deprived? Me!!!!
Mayo, that was long, dude. It's all late and your posting long posts, its crazy.
morning mayo! all UK time zone friendly for me.
i honestly don't know what to say though except as always i hope you are ok?
a re read is in order.
You paint a good picture, my friend. Rest your eyes, and dream well.
Good night.
i think i might be losing my computer screen! D:
i might not be around if that happens.
oh gosh! this is bad!
mayo, be well. if i'm not here, i'm thinking of you.
Please excuse me and Entropy, while we appear to be the same person, I know the difference between Your and You're. And now she's gonna bitchslap me.
You're*. Okay, it's late, kids, you can't not expect that.
TJ! Hope you don't lose your computer screen! How are you losing it? You can't catch it?
Yes, with my pimp hand, you ho. Like I said, it's late. Ho.
see, she posted a full two minutes later than me that time, so whew, maybe I don't suffer from multi personality disorder. I was beginning to doubt myself there for a minute.
it was flickering really badly, entropy. my laptop is super old. i'm always afraid it's going to die and then, you know, my whole life with it.
but the screen just stopped flickering, and cleared up.
i need to see if there's something i can do about that.
more reasons to make the marge sound. :(
you know mayo i feel almost a little unworthy to be allowed to read you. do you get me?? sorry i'm not really fully awake yet. i know you are anonymous but still i feel kind of like i'm reading some one's diary that i shouldn't be. i feel a little awkward. but i'm glad you let us because crazy as it seems we really do care alot.
i also have to say i was looking at your page (obviously i look at it alot, study it!) redrums words are special. i read those earlier when i was having a catch up. sorry i was just saying that looking at your page i thought "wow!" all those little bits and pieces that come from various people here all go to make it really very special.
just wanted to say that.
sorry worded a bit badly.
What explains everything else? Maybe you were trying to throw yourself off. And does this mean you are talking to yourself?
Yeah, TJ, that doesn't sound awesome. Hope it stays not flickering.
just wanted to say hi to all!
TJ your marge sound and i know exactly the one!! very appropriate!
i don't like the VILE thing mayo. its really harsh.
look you've probably gone to bed mayo, so rest well and take care.
well, dude, I hear you on the bleary eyes shit, so I'm taking myself off to beddy bye. Pleasant dreams to all, condiment and non condiment alike.
yeah, you and me both entropy. :/
looks like i'll be up a little longer. between the adrenaline rush of mayo's new post and the panic attack of the internet-addicted, i'm not very sleepy at the moment.
night carrie! god you guys are up ridiculously late!! you are going to regret that in the morning you know!!
good night carrie, and hi there faraway.
i marge sound a lot on this blog. :/
Hey Fasc! And night.
Night, Carrie. Night, TJ. Night, Mayo. Night peoples all around.
panic attack of the internet-addicted
TJ i think i would possibly stop breathing!! really!
i've not read the latest chapter of the gothic yet TJ as i was only briefly catching up with my morning cuppa when mayo appeared on the balcony!! took me totally by surprise.
good night entropy. sweet dreams.
night entropy. sleep well.
nah, I can sleep in tomorrow morning, it's not a school night!
took me by surprise, too, faraway! i was just getting ready to head off to bed -- i had written my good nights and everything.
and then: boom! hi mayo!
and then: boom! hi mayo!
haha! i know TJ i did a double take at the screen!
right i'm gonna go read your chapter now. it looks long!!!
Hi Mayo
We each have our own experience from which we base our assumptions. As long as I have been alive I have registered every moment and from that registry I claim truth. This is obvious and I am ridiculous, really.
Gandhi did something similar and wrote his book My Experiments With Truth.
Mayo, there is no way I am calling you Gandhi here,that would be excessive fluffing, but I am just saying that it isn't ridiculous.
I can be poked all the way through and then the light will shine through me.
Oh geez, I know it isn't what you mean but I'm having visions of the movie Highlander here.
Do you mind me asking what or whom is the 'Vile' that you speak of.
mayonaise
I had to get back up and re-read your thoughts.
I am impressed
I am inspired
Mayonaise said...
I use the freedom I have here to sort out some of my more dangerous secrets and truths.
Here as well...thank you again
Once again,goodnight friend and friends
Boldly painting
`sc
Oh, I wanted to say sorry to SC, that's sad to hear.
And Gothic was a cool update.
Goodnight Carrie, Entropy, SC, Redrum.
SC, I'm dreadful at finding the right words for something so sad, so...*hugs*
Hello TJ, hotstuff FASC.
It has gone a little quiet.
*sniffs under arms*
Ughh!
*goes off to do something about it*
thanks, entropy. :)
and hello pickled possum...er...where did you go?
just finished reading TJ. damn fine work!! really enjoying it.
SC i also wanted to say sorry for your sad news.
mayo thanks for speaking to us.
p.s. that place, it is cold and crowded, rough and smooth, and filled with impossible demands directed by my own hands. It is closer to the bottom than I would ever chance to be. It calls, but doesn’t give warning. It immediately holds secret and truth. It is where the unraveling begins and ends.
this gave me the chills.
thanks, faraway!
i agree with you about mayo's post. i read the whole thing practically holding my breath...but then, i do tend to overreact a bit.
*shrugs and grins*
Mayonaise, I was supposed to be sleeping at the moment, given that it's 3:39 am, but I decided to take a quick peek at the blog before I could do that by using my phone, and voila! A new post.
First of all, regarding the purple passage, thank you. Your words are deeply appreciated, more than you will ever know.
Second, regarding the rest of the post, are you referring that your own version of the truth is that eventually, we will all die, but die alone, because it is inevitable? It sounds that way to me.
Hinting at poetic candor, were you some of the anons from earlier on tonight during the poetic session?
You do require excessive fluffing don't you? You didn't think some of us didn't notice did you? You silly. I know I did.
That's okay. I enjoy giving it to you, at times. Depends on my mood. Regarding the porcelain passage, you are both strong and weak, and regardless of who or what you are, you still can be reached, corect?
The greatest light, I think, is one of unconditional love, hope, and understanding.
Goodnight once again my little mayonaise. Sweet dreams to you. Goodnight everyone.
BC
i read the whole thing practically holding my breath...but then, i do tend to overreact a bit.
TJ me too!! we are a little similar in that respect!!
right got to go guys! saturday morning. things to do, kids to entertain, money to spend (well erm credit card money!!), cars to be fixed (that's the worst!!)
take care everyone, will be back in later.
thank you again mayo man, for this and for everything else.
i think i'm calmed down enough to attempt some sleep now, so i'll be heading off, too.
see you all later. :)
thank you, mayo -- for things i can't even really name.
good night.
Here, I was wondering why no one had replied and felt bereft, yet here you all are :)
Now I can go back and read the post :D
took us all by surprise, mayo did, miranth! but it was a lovely comment you made, and true too.
going to bed. good night!
*comes back fresh as a flower just caught in a shower*
Night TJ. Hi Miranth.
>_>
<_<
>_>
Sh#t, still obviously not clean enough.
Or is it the pickle @_@
*wanders off nonchalantly, munching on an onion*
Good night/morning/afternoon Mayo, SS, FASC, Possum (the now immune), TJ, regulars and irregulars for this time of day, Watchers & lurkers & anonymous(es)!
How is everyone? Happy and healthy, I hope! I'm feeling healthier by the hour *big smile & knock on wood*
Mayo: Thank you for the new bleary eyed post. I am happy to hear you are learning a thing or two about your truth! And, if there is anything in your life that needs changing -- in order for you to live your truth & be a happy and fulfilled person -- I hope you have the courage and strength required. I don't doubt that you do!
Porcelain and Black, eh? Well, mix those two colors and we get a lovely shade of GREY. Not happy with that? We could mix in a dab of True Blue and get a lovely blue-grey! I like that idea.....but, that's probably just me.
Nothing VILE about either of those colors, if you ask me.....which no one did, so I shall move along....
To 'power the word anon' @ 12:06 am: I don't know who those words were for; but, thank you for reminding me how much I appreciate and enjoy the works of John Donne.
TJ: You know what I'm going to say, don't you? Yes, I thought the latest chapter of the gothic was wonderful!!! You and Elena have me hooked. Ya'll know when this is finished.....I want a sequel!
SIM: You shy/colourful creature you! I more than liked your poem. Which is why I copied it and reposted. Thank you so much for sharing your words with us and for letting us know - beyond doubt - that it was you.
Fimble: No! You can not leave!
GOOD GRIEF what the hell is going on around here ??? You are an important part of this Fimble. I've always loved reading what you have to say. You do make a difference......
Please, don't go....
*sigh*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To ponder today:
When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.
— Patrick Overton
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hugs and love to all,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
I think I'm going to have to agree with ya there ^^^^Possum -Mayo certainly has the whole Gandhi/McConnor vibe going on here tonight. You could through in a little Obi Wan too, if ya wanted. ;p
So naturally I missed FASC.
Typical!
So how is everyone doing? I've had no time to catch up with Mayo's past few posts -and everyone's thoughts there after. I feel rather out of the loop. I hope everyone is doing well tonight, or will be soon. I don't understand the loss Mayo is speaking of, but I hope everyone is alright. I hope you guys are all o.k! <333
Hello Lewis and Miranth!
How are you two doing this morning?
SC: it's always so good to see you. I'm so sorry to see you had bad news. Please accept my sincerest condolences on your loss.....
*big hug*
Hi Mayo,
Nice to finally meet you. :)
God, am I dorky, anyway as you say, we can all be very full of ourselves at times and not fully aware of our impact on others - till they make it frightfully clear in my case. But the laughing at oneself, and having the confidence to do so, is a wonderful and liberating experience.
But when you say that you need to hear it back, I wonder if you're thinking of someone in particular, or rather everyone in general. If the latter is the case, good luck to you. :) Though I see you've had some success here.
You should Never call yourself a derogatory expletive, except in jest or in a facetious manner, IMO. :) And all of us can boast an addiction to positive feedback, in any case. Some just need more grandiose praise than others :)
Perception is relative to one's position obviously, but and I agree that its important to face our own. While self-aware, its still difficult for me to examine my truths even somewhat objectively. So I must applaud your courage. And I'll have to find some of my own.
Your more oblique passages will take more time for me to decipher at this late hour.
Thanks for posting!
Thank you, TJ! I am glad you read it and I understand the Marge Simpson thing :)
Hi FASC, Wendy, Pickled Possum, lurkers and anyone else here!
It would appear we are all alone in the castle Miranth...
Hmmm......what to do, what to do???
;-)
Hmmmm,
Now would be a good time to slide down the banisters or swing from the chandeliers!
I won't tell if you don't ;)
Sounds like a good idea to me, Miranth!
You got a deal!
Besides, the banisters could use a good dusting ;-)
Who shall go first?
I'll test to see if it's safe....
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Wow I had to jump off at the bottom, no pun intended :)
It's good fun! Now you try...
Okay, but if I fall off this banister and break a bone.....
Well..........you'll see ;-)
*wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*
*ouch*
No broken bones, just hurt pride
(and arse)
I AM NOT SWINGING from that CHANDELIER though!
I still remember Amy getting stuck up there ;-)
I knew that might happen!!! But it was fun anyway :) The chandeliers would be even more dangerous :( I don't know if we should attempt it. I'm not all that agile.
Perhaps we should visit the long gallery and look at the pictures!
hello mayo I have a house full and a tummy full of good dinner and good times.
I hope you are to.
I read your post.I'll have to read it again in less rushed times.
I agree with how you feel as far as I can tell.
Your condolences are appreciated I'm sure
Facing our own truths is the hardest.
wishing clarity, honesty, hope and truth to you and yours
much love
EP xx
hello PP Fasc lewis Miranth wendy and anyone else about.
I misssed saying goodnight to TJ BC Elena and I'm sure a few others
wish I could stay longer.
and FIMBLE - you aren't going ??? what happened? I don't know why but you can't go, it wouldn't be the same without you.
goodnight everyone
EP xx
Okay! I wonder if Mayo has any Van Gogh's or Monet's???
Hmmm....I wonder if he's heard of this Harouni chap? Neo-expressionism, I like!
If you really, really want to swing from the chandeliers; I can try my best to break your fall :))
Hi Ergo and Bye Ergo!
That's all I seem to have time to say to you these days.
You're always running off on me
*pout*
Have good day with all the company Ergo!!!! I HOPE they helped wash the dishes ;-)
I want to see the Cezanne and the Van Gogh. I am not sure if he has any Monet's. There must be some impressionist art here.
I think Mayo would like Harouni's work - its very rich and vibrant and the the diagonal brush strokes capture a sense of movement even in static images. I like it too!
Miranth, there you are! I thought I lost you.
I think I do spy a Monet and a Renoir, if I'm not mistaken!!!
Hot dang! Mayo has great taste in art ;-)
Ohhhh, you like Harouini's work too? Cool :D
*apologies to Mr. Harouni for butchering his name*
darn evil typo fairy strikes again!
Oh,
I really like his Berthe Morisot painting - I could look at it all day!
I've quite forgotten all about hanging from the chandelier...thank god... I think I must've been slap happy to even contemplate it.
A Renoir, did you say? Where is it Wendy? I must've passed right by it...how is that possible.
hey wendy miranth
*zooming by quickly*
wendy - yes they did :) !!!
damn I'd love to talk art with you - love Monet
I'll be normal in a 3 more days!
(well as close to normal as I usually am!)
*zoom off again*
Hi and bye again ergo!!!! Wow that was fast!
There's nothing wrong with swinging from chandeliers, Miranth!
I just prefer my (swinging from) chandeliers to be a little closer to the floor these days ;-)
You know which painting/drawing is my favorite? The one hanging over the fireplace that says: Artwork by Toujours!
Shhhh.....don't tell her though. We don't want her head to swell :P
I must be off now Miranth. All this art talk has inspired me.....
I am now determined to make a masterpiece of laundry!!!
Thanks Miranth! Have a great day and I'll see you later :)
Have a great day everybody!!!
Hugs and Love......
6/Wendy
He's got a Basquiat!!! That rhymed :)
Wendy, did you see the naughty Eric Fischl in the corner? Its called bad boy! Naughty Mayo :D
Bye Wendy! Think I'll head off too. And I love the Toujours piece myself, but we'll keep it quiet, ;)
Alrighty, which one of you shits drew a mustache on Chagall's The Bride hanging in the foyer?? I swear Mayo, it wasn't me. ;P
Just popped back to say HI!! I haven't yet met Miranth- Howdy nice to meet ya! (Your name is beautiful, does it mean something? Or is it a character from something dear to you?! I like it very much!) But Wendy616 -I know that trouble makin lovelie! I hope you two ladies are enjoying your romp round Mayo's tonight!! Don't ya dare break that Ming Dynasty vase - you know the one on the side table, about a LEG's Length from the right banister?? Watch out for that! And those rotty orange roses from Vales Day -are starting to smell wonky...somebody might want to change them out. ;) Have fun! Talk with you next time! <333 -l
Oh, and thanks for staying with us Mayo. We sure are fond of ya- vile or not. ;)
Hi Lewis,
It wasn't me :) I swear!
Miranth is the name of a dragon from the Anne McCaffrey Pern series. My first pet rabbit's name was Miranth too. I like it and it doesn't make me sad :( anymore that my rabbit died, but that was a quarter century ago now *sigh*
Ick, rotty orange roses, gross! I see some forsythia in the front yard, if I put it in water it should bloom even now.
Bye now!
Mayo,
Thank you. I can’t begin to describe all the emotions that ran through my body while reading this. My fingers are still trembling.
What do we believe?
That’s a tough question, my friend.
I have always believed in rational things. The kind of thing that develops logically, you know? Like the Darwinian theory.
During the years this attitude of mine has made me earn the label of the cynical one. And that’s probably true.
Maybe that’s the reason why my favourite philosophies in High School were those who based their thought on real evidence.
I’ve learned to come to terms with my inability to dream.
The proof of that is I’m a law student, and I’m only asked to demonstrate the truth behind men’s words. No personal opinions are required.
Growing up with the consciousness that life can be painful could do you that much, I guess.
That’s me, and I’m not sure it will ever change.
But I think now I know why that’s the way I am, Mayo: I am terrified that I can suffer again.
I fear that if I let my irrational part conquer the rational one, I would be too vulnerable. And I can’t stand it.
Keeping a firm grip on facts helps me to find a plausible explanation about anything that happens around me, and I think it makes me believe I can anticipate what will follow next, even if I know that’s not always possible.
That’s probably my deepest secret and I never told anybody about it until now.
Damn you, Mayo!
Just kidding dude,! ^_^
To be honest I’m quite proud I have found the strength to acknowledge it to myself, eventually.
And you know what? I believe that’s your fault entirely.
Because, answering Mustard question, this place and every single person I’ve met here is teaching me to listen to my own feelings, by showing me how you can really be honest with yourself, and that’s something I’ll always be grateful for.
So , thank you Mayo.
Thank you SS.
Thank you Family.
Have a great day everybody.
Take care.
Love you all. Really.
PS: Mayo, if in the beginning of this entry you quoted my words trying to show me you’re a vile man, well then just know it doesn’t work. I told you, I believe in rational things… ;)
PSS: Toujours, I bet you know what I’m going to say about the latest chapter: A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!
Is someone here?
Wendy?
Yeah, great!
I think I will really die alone!
*trails fingers down bannister as comes down stairs*
Ooh, someone has been cleaning at Mayo's. Nice. The cleaning product used smells odd though.
*going to SisM's suburb in Hell*
Salutations all!
I hope you all remembered to call out White Rabbits this morning, and then did the whole pinch and the punch, or for the less aggressive, the kiss and the hug version for the first of the month.
FASC, Happy St David's Day, you little part dragon. (Dragon = no wonder you're hot!)
Kass, are 50 or so bridesmaid dresses required, or did none of the many respond to your Leap Year charms?
Tj! I'm seeing the Foo Fighters as well,in May. They're going to be amaaazing.
Fimble @1:58am,
What the heck @_@ I hope that was just a quiet moment of self doubt you were having and not that you are leaving.
I do not see a shadow here. I see a fimtastic individual who brings light to these pages. I'm sure the Tornado sees it too in your daily life.
Hopefully by being your trueself at Mayo's, it will filter through to those others in the real world and they'll see your bright light like we do.
BTW FS, the content of your 'bilge' gives Mayo's an impressive bulge...
in comments ^_~
*grabs hands with FS and skips merrily around Hell together*
TJ and Elena, put a copyright thingy at the end of every chapter, and at your ectoblog TJ. It's that good.
Cripes.
Sorry.
I made a roll of wallpaper with that comment.
Mayo, I love you. No, not that way, but In the way that I love things of great beauty. And you are beautiful.
Lucy@1:19pm,
The re-post at 7:49am yesterday was me (but I wasn't the first one). I thought it was so lovely it should stand on it's own so he could see it if he came by.
So... any critics of blogger comments being reposted...
*bends over*
I'm ready for my spanking.
Please ^_^
Speaking of he,
SS,
You came by and left - My little plastic monkeys (that I know nothing about) and I, had a mission involving you. Princess had a whip.
The game ison.
*raises the stakes to involve SS, monkeys, a whip, and elevator muzak*
Seriously though for a moment,
Remember life is short.
Besides the point there are better things to do with one's life than argue, I hope all is well with you and yours, because I feel a sadness here that someone close to you, with much life to live, has had bad news befall them. If that is so, I'm really sorry and hope you are doing okay in the circumstances and have the support of friends and family.
Hi anon,
Mayo has a kind soul for letting us enjoy his and each others company. I'm sure you've given him his first smile for today.
*pinches and punches anon for the first of the month*
No returns!
*PP wallpapering Mayo's again*
Night all!
I'm meant to be asleep Mayo, But I'm not.
Well... obviously!
I couldn't sleep, and I haven't been able to for a while now.
But this time instead of lying in bed being worrying, or getting up and obsessive compulsively cleaning, I decided to turn on my computer.
I'm glad I did.... I found a lovely post.
A really lovely post.
I'm just sorry I feel so removed from everything these days.
But the sentiment is lovely.
You're lovely. You just are.
Till we meet again stranger.
xoxo cupcake.
Take care Mayo, and everyone else.
My hours may not be regular, but a piece of my heart stays here with all of you.
I'm very sorry.
xoxo cupcake
Oops... forgot the ps.
You know I looked at my comment for a good five minutes or something before I realized that.
Mayo
I am truly at a loss for words. I have read your post three times thus far and have been touched by a different passage each time. I'm feeling so many emotions at the moment that I can't began to capture even one tightly enough to address. Sorry I feel like an idiot staring at this screen and in my heart knowing what I want to say yet unable to form the words. So I will simply say thank you. Thank you for sharing with us your struggle for truth. Thank you for sharing so many things in this post. Mostly thank you for writing words that have touched my soul.
I HATE BLOGGER!!!!
Damn it man! I had this long ass comment typed for you, Mayo. I did. It was so insightful and shit. Now it's gone. Floating in bloggerspace. >_<
What I was trying to say is that even though you may not realize it, you are no different than any of us here. I think that's why all of our paths have crossed. We all ask the same questions, we all come here for some type of answer. We have all gotten some of those answers, realized some wonderful things about ourselves, some things that need to change for the better, and the bonus is we found long lasting friendships.
Oh, and just so you know, I laugh at myself constantly. You're not alone there either. I'm just glad that you are able to laugh. We can be pretty damn entertaining sometimes, right Mayo? You and me, our mirrors and matchboboks. ^_~
Hugs and kisses to you, Mayo.
Have a great Saturday everyone!
*princess blows kiss in SS's direction just cuz she can.
Copy and paste, Princess S&V20...copy and paste.
Blogger won't get the best of me, no sir.
Live and learn.
Mayo,
How are you today? I hope you are complete....completely in love, completely happy, completely satisfied, completely healthy, completely comfortable. Me? I'm getting there. Do you know that for the first time in a long time I heard her whisper to me last night? Yeah, her. I thought she had left me for good, but I guess not. Feels good.
Your latest post is going to give me so much to think about. Thank you for that. You know I'm a thinker...a ponderer of all things. An analyzer and a dissecter. A take aparter and an examiner. Meaning I will look at this from all angles, inside out, upside down, round and round, and through and through. The way I do everthing.
So many people here have already said some great things to you this morning. I especially like what my sister said...What I was trying to say is that even though you may not realize it, you are no different than any of us here. I think that's why all of our paths have crossed. We all ask the same questions, we all come here for some type of answer. We have all gotten some of those answers, realized some wonderful things about ourselves, some things that need to change for the better, and the bonus is we found long lasting friendships. Princess S&V20
Mayo, we are all the same. Separated only by our circumstances and our life experiences I've said this before but we are all just one step, one thing, one love, one death, one heartbreak, one success, one failure, one fear, one addiction, one affliction, one catastrophe from being each other. That's sorta how I said it. I can't remember my exact words as it was months ago. But you get the idea.
We come here to connect and to not feel like we are just beings floating in space. Here we are never alone. Here we find comfort and understanding. Here we find someone to hear us. Here we find our voice. Here we find each other. Here we see how truly beautiful the world can be.
I'll be back later tonight with lots more. I love this post so much that I will always be inspired by it.
Now, I am off to make my Saturday as fantabulous as it can be. I hope you can do the same. And tonight, I will ask the question to both of us...were we good?
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Dancing with death to feel alive.
We can safely assume that you are aware of my requiring a little extra fluffing.
ThAT'S DIRTY, MAYO.
Just kidding. Not really. Anyway.
We all will die. For some, there is a need to find every little piece of evidence to the contrary.
That's frustrating, I can tell you first hand. I do this all the damn time. Sometimes I think I've got a pretty good case going, and if you ever want to go there and file through it with me, say the word. It's one of my Big Issues.
What matters to me is this…I hope you read truth here. And by here, I do not mean exclusively my capricious chatter. From my corner, I attempt exercises in poetic candor.
I do, too, (you know this, and thank you,) which I haven't done in years. You more or less gave that back to me. You made me a better writer and a better reader.
Some of it is written for me, some for you, some for them, some for him, and some for her (in no particular order of importance)
That's fantastic, Mayo, and a little, hmm, I don't know how to phrase it. Not "telling," but you actually touched on a question here that many of us have frequently asked, once or twice where you could see it, but usually behind your back.
I use the freedom I have here to sort out some of my more dangerous secrets and truths.
I'm glad. You have to know that we do, too--I know you've seen it--and I hope we can continue this way. I've said things here that I've never said before. Shout it out, let it go, kind of thing.
I know there's lots more to this but I don't want to burden you with deep analysis of every little thing (and that would ruin it, anyway.) Also, it would annoy the people that things like that usually annoy.
Thank you for this post, I like it a lot.
P.S. The mourning purple, I know. So you were there and you got it. I got it, too.
Mayo,
Thank you for writing that post, it gave some insight into the mystery of the man behind the curtain.
I do feel, like we are reading something, maybe we shouldn't, cause this blog was not created for us, or directed at us, and yet here we all are, reading your inter most thoughts, like walking up on someone right in the middle of a deep and personal conversation, and just standing there listening to every word, unable to turn and walk away.
It's Wrong, in every way you look at it!
But dear Mayo, you put up with us watching your every post, even turned your head, when we replied to all the posts you wrote for someone else.
In my head i picture a person with a kind soul, as fucked up as we are, a person reaching out, only to grab air, trying to convince his inter self, that all is good! all is well! the whole time screaming, Please see me!
I do see you Mayo, we all do, and in the post you write, sometimes for us, sometimes for others, we have learned the difference, hence the reason i do not reply to some post.
And on your last remark about losing family, thank you from someone who knows the pain of death, you will never know how alone you are till all you love is gone, not one, not two, but all.
But it has made me strong and made me see what life is about, and i live everyday knowing i am the last, my family's immortality in my hands and my hands alone.
Fucked up, sure it is, but that's life!
If i can deal with my life, then you can too!
I mean really, am I that much of a _motherfucker______________ (insert derogatory explicative)?
PS......No!
I see the teddy bear, threw the monster you think you are.
I know!
too long a reply, sorry! Forgive!
Continue!
Back to life!
xoxo
PJ
Princess: Write that crap in Wordpad and COPY AND PASTE IT! Do no be Blogger's bitch. ^_^
Okay, I went back and caught up where I left off last night, saw Fim, and said WTF. Babbling, "WTF, FIM?" email sent. Waiting. >_<
Fimle,
Talk to us, please.
Come back. Don't make me go to Daytona and kidnap you.
I do feel, like we are reading something, maybe we shouldn't, cause this blog was not created for us, or directed at us, and yet here we all are, reading your inter most thoughts, like walking up on someone right in the middle of a deep and personal conversation, and just standing there listening to every word, unable to turn and walk away.
I agree with this so hard. And as I've said before, I do hope that Mayo has a private journal where he can write without censor, without thinking about what a bunch of people are going to make of it.
With that light, I am able to produce a force greater than I deserve.
Well, you deserve a lot. I don't claim to know anymore about you than you know about me, but you put off this thing. And whoever you are, what you've done with yourself, what you've done here, how you carry your words, you deserve it all. That can't be said for everyone.
My truth may be painted in a different hue. Slightly off color, but still my truth just the same. And I will stand by it, fiercely.
It's absurd really. Willing to die for something you believe in, but you're not even sure what it is, an intangible idea or thing. I've got one of these. No one else understands. They look at me funny because it is truth to me, but they take it for granted. Elevator music, you know?
What matters to me is this…I hope you read truth here.
Why do you think I continue to stick around? Not only am I here for you and the rest of the bunch, I'm here to try and figure my own shit out. It's a job, too. It's like trying to rebuild the Great Wall of China in my head. I think it's working.
And mostly, I hope it's working for you as well. I would hate that you only keep coming here for us, but I don't think that's the case. I don't think it ever really was the case. I hope you're finding your own truth here just as we are.
that place, it is cold and crowded, rough and smooth, and filled with impossible demands directed by my own hands. It is closer to the bottom than I would ever chance to be. It calls, but doesn’t give warning. It immediately holds secret and truth. It is where the unraveling begins and ends.
What? Sleep? Cousin to death. Just as close as you can get without your heart stopping. I think it's a beautiful concept. But, more like I can't get my head wrapped around it.
Mayo, it's really great to hear you "talking." We don't tire of this, and we hope you're well. Have a great day, and we'll see you later.
What? Sleep? Cousin to death. Just as close as you can get without your heart stopping.
Not cousin: Half brother. ^_^ (Although I put it to you that being anesthetized or comatose is closer. ;D ) I love that painting; it's one of my favorites. Also they remind me of Frank and Gerard. O_O
If I might revisit last night for a second, Splash, what you said there reminded me of another favorite passage of mine, from Byron's Don Juan:
...rapture
but not such true joy are reaping
As they who watch o’er what they love while sleeping.
For there it lies so tranquil, so beloved,
All that it hath of life with us is living;
So gentle, stirless, helpless, and unmoved,
And all unconscious of the joy ‘t is giving;
All it hath felt, inflicted, pass’d, and proved,
Hush’d into depths beyond the watcher’s diving:
There lies the thing we love with all its errors
And all its charms, like death without its terrors.
Colorful and different, and a very long post Mayonaise. Not expected from you=]
But remember, you have to learn to expect the un-expected, especially when it comes to a certain condiment. ;)
Awwh man...
Re-reading this blog, it holds so much.. something. You have always had a way with words Mayonaise. Thank you for the little purple text. It's intended for all, and it meant a lot to me, and I'm sure a lot of other people. I'm never good at figuring your posts out Mayonaise, but this one.. there's just something about this one.
Dear Mayo,
As you well know, it's been a full week since either of us has dared come back to your House. My "visit" is only a brief one, certainly not intended to cause any trouble, and only intended for you.
As usual, I'm having trouble putting into words what I want to say. It's been a while since I've even touched the computer.
Here, you've put forth your observations on truth. Yes, I agree with this statement: "…what do we believe? We gather what information we can and draw our own conclusions. We each have our own experience from which we base our assumptions."
Last week you saw us try to defend ourselves against false accusations of guilt. What I would like to ask you, please, Mayo, is this:
Who do YOU believe is telling the truth in this case?
I'm asking you because I truly want to know. I'm not trying to put you on the spot. You don't have to answer me if you feel I don't deserve one. But it would be appreciated if you would, just this once, say one way or the other what you believe.
That's my entire comment. Don't worry, people, I'm not going to make any more. And it's only from me, L isn't involved.
Mayo, just a simple answer is all I ask from you. Thank you for opening your doors for us for so long. We miss you.
SS, we miss you too. Wish I could talk to you like I used to, but I can't do it here.
Again, thank you both.
J
Morning people.
Mayo - cheers for the post.
Cheers for all of your concern but I just want to clear it up. I am not leaving. I am so, so sorry that I put my thoughts down again in the wrong way. I just can never find the right words with the right meaning to go with the right sentences. The summary of that post could be that I thought about how much my comments mean and bring to people and they don’t mean jack shit so I am not going to spam up mayos house with useless bilge. I am still going to come and visit and see my friends cos I will miss you all but I feel that I have nothing of use to say so I will let the people who do have important things to say speak up and be heard. I am sorry if I caused any confusion, really I am.
Sc, my thoughts are with you and their family. I am sorry to hear your news.
Bye guys, have a nice day
xx
Or, knowing you, "that place" could be life.
Not sleep, but life.
Why am I analyzing this? Oh, because it's what I do. I'm a user Mayo. Not that kind, but the kind that uses others thoughts and feelings to help describe my own.
"Life is but a dream for the dead."
You aren't dead, Mayo. You're more alive than ever before.
ORIGINALS, SEE HOW HE SAID I AM SORRY IF YOU'VE RECENTLY LOST A FAMILY MEMBER...SEE HOW HE ISNT ASKING YOU TO COME BACK...STOP TRYING TO INVOLVE MAYO IN YOUR RIDICULOUS LIES AND TROUBLE-MAKING. NOONE CARES!!! GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER COME BACK, WELL HERE YOU ARE...MORE LIES THEN!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi mayo, no big long comments of advice from me cos I suck at it.
I just wanted to say, chin up sweetie. You have lots of people here who think of you fondly, I hope that makes you smile.
Hi ss, I hope you are OK sweetie.
Hi OP J, I'm glad that you are still around. I wish the family could all be like it was in the beginning. I cross my fingers and hope.
Hi TJ, “What the bloody hell?” MissT said loudly to be heard over the roar of conversation that was happening.
This made me laugh so much cos I do talk like that. This story is great sweetie, I'm enjoying it loads.
Hi FASC, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another MSP fan. I am so chuffed, how good are they? I love that song faster. I also love "if white America told the truth for one day it's world would fall apart". MSP rule.
Last night we had horrendous gales here. I wasn't online cos I was too busy wandering the house and worrying.
Since the earthquake on Wednesday morning, I am worried that the house is unstable, at least the chimney.
The winds were blowing so hard that they were making my bedroom shake. The wind on the outside was making my wardrobe on the inside creak. That can't be good. The wardrobe is right against the wall so the wall must have been moving pretty much to make it creak.
Well, I spent my time wandering the house, checking stuff and worrying.
Today, big parts of our garden fence on the back garden have blown apart. We have been out there patching it up with the help of the nice neighbour (it is the fence that seperates us from alcoholic neighbour). We don't want that scrubber to be able to see in our garden or let his dirty mucky dog get in and shit on our garden.
We have big winds forcast agin tonight and already it is picking up again.
I hope things will be OK.
I hope to see you guys later.
bye for now xxxxx
Ooops, just popping back to say, J please send my best wishes to L.
SC, so sorry to hear about your loss sweetie. My thought are with you.
Really off now.
P.S. Anon, I think that whatever has been said by people on these blogs, friends are willing to forgive.
Yes friends have dissagreements, people say things they don't mean but friends are willing to get past that and move on.
I want to take this time to apologise to anyone I may have hurt with anything I have ever said.
I just want everyone to know that I love everyone here, and I love all the people who have left this place with feelings of disalussionment. (prob spelt wrong).
Really going now. See you all later.
"OMG WE ARE NEVER COMING BACK! EVER! EVER EVER! NEVER AGAIN!
Except this once. PPU and Sdock10 are hackers.
GOODBYE, WE ARE NEVER EV ER COMING BACK! REALLY! DON"T BOTHER BEGGING US TO COME BACK BECAUSE WE ARE GONE! FOR GOOD! GOODBYE CRUEL BLOG!
Well here we are again. Looks like SS posted. HI! We are back.
OK NOW WE ARE LEAVING FOR GOOD! GOODBYE CRUEL BLOG!!! DON"T BOTHER ASKING US TO STAY!
Mayo, you want us to come back, right? PLEASE say you want us to come back! Please?
OK NOW WE ARE GONE FOR GOOD! REALLY!"
Just stop. You look even more like asses than you did when you called everyone hypocrites accidentally signed in and then tried to pin it on Sdock10.
Just go if you're going.
OPs, the family, the ones YOU guys accused of hacking to cover up your mistake, has spent over a week trying to keep Mayo OUT OF IT. Why would you try to drag him INTO it. It's so selfish of you I can hardly believe it. Why should he be forced to care?
Anon my first thought at reading your comment was anger. Now that was been replaced by pity. You are full of such anger and bitterness that I can't begin to understand how you can hold that much hatred in your heart. Please for everyone involved let this go. If you truly care about anyone on this blog, LET IT GO!
Anonymous, would you like to see the actual email sent to SDock10 and Mustard? I'm very willing to post it on Mayo's. And from what I can gather, the only people still bringing up this shit...are the anons.
No, it was really nice today until the OPs came in and brought it back up. Did anyone mention it? NO, THEY DID! And now they are trying to drag Mayo into it too. When the people they accused did everything they could to keep it OUT OF THIS PLACE, they are trying to drag Mayo into it when it has NOTHING to do with Mayo.
There's nothing more stupid than people who say they are leaving for good and then keep coming back, over and over and OVER again. It makes you look like an ass.
Strangely, anons, it's the rest of us you drive away, not the OP's. Have a nice day, everyone. And oh, my ass hurts, Mustard!
Well, you know, OPJ never said she wasn't coming back. She said she'd be back occasionally for Mayo and SS. I believe you're remembering OPL. And her comment said OPL wasn't involved.
Why don't you want me to post the original email? Are you afraid it would show the truth?
Back from shopping! Heading out in a bit to do cool family stuff. ^_^
Okay, but first. Can we all do this signed in if we're going to do it?
I agree that it is unfair to ask Mayo to take part in something that should have been over before it began. I agree, it really was nice in here. Last night was inspiring, cozy, friendly, and fun. This morning we get this lovely post and even though there is Mayo's ever-present dark sensibility to it, it's still so lovely (maybe lovelier for the touch of darkness) and everyone's pretty happy and mellow today. I'm in hopes that Mayo is, too.
So can we just leave it be like that? Yes, we did make an effort to keep this off of here, the ones of us whose names got dragged into it (while we sat back and went, "huh? O_o ") So, why keep bringing it here? Why try to ask Mayo to play a part in it? It's too big of a burden. No matter what he says, someone is going to have something pissy to say about it about it. Mayo probably knows this. (Didn't he once say, "What if I mess up?") I'm being wildly presumptuous here perhaps, but I think Mayo would see this as being damned no matter what he says. Why ask him to take sides? When he had nothing to do with it in the first place? No one whose name got dragged into it had anything to do with it, so why keep trying to bring more people into it still?
Why would anyone post an email? Can't we just drop it? People are going to believe what they believe.
FIMBLE STAR, I am so relieved that you're not leaving and I'm sorry I misunderstood you. I wish you'd reconsider about posts that you think are "meaningless," because I like reading those. Also, no one is guiltier of that than I am. Please, like people need to hear about my cousins and the play I went to see last night? No one needs to hear it, but that's how we just all talk about crap. The ones I don't want to read about, I skim. I happen to enjoy reading yours. So I wish you would reconsider. ^_^
Original Punks said...
BC, you can you send us your new e-mail address? We sent you somethng but it came back as undeliverable.
We miss you too, and a lot of people at Mayo's, but we are not coming back. We will not post as us, as an anon, or anything else. We are through.
Anon, why don't you set up your own blogger account and you can carry on this vendetta at your leisure over there instead of filling up Mayo's with your junk mail. Nobody over here wants to keep wading through it.
No, this is bullshit.
If you want to talk about this, damn it, take it to DM.
There's no fucking need to keep bringing this back up.
It's done with. It's over.
Why would anyone post an email, Kapunua?
Because you lied on DM and told everyone that the OPs named Miss Tottenham, Mustard, and Smoke&Venom in this very email.
If they get slammed every time they come on here, then I'm going to fight for them instead. I think Mayo and SS would appreciate that.
Loyalty. Ever hear of it?
This is NONSENSE!
ANd thanks, a-hole anon, for putting Solly's entire full name out there for the world, dick!
Oh my god, what a dick.
I have to go. I hope this is finished when I come back.
Solly, I am so sorry this is happening again. You've got enough on your plate.
GOD! >_<
And I didn't even know about Solly's email.
You are such a dick.
Really, Kapunua? Then what does this mean?
from SDock10's reply:
Well, since you decided to drag Kapunua's name into this, I forwarded her your email to me. I said everything that I needed to say at Mayo's this morning. Now, it's up to you whether or not you believe me.
Are you calling SDock10 a liar?
Well, since you decided to drag Kapunua's name into this, I forwarded her your email to me.
SDock10 had sent Jenny's email to Kapunua, not SDock10's response. Understand?
Enough already please!
Ya know, Mayo?
I'm so sorry. I really am. If I had to put up with the bullshit you have to put up with, I'd fuck this whole thing.
But, always, you allow us to come here and share our thoughts. You don't censor anyone, but I think that's being taken advantage of now.
You want me to say it? I think you're being dealt a fucking low blow and people are walking all over this place because they know they can.
You don't deserve it, and I just wanted you to know that. I'm sorry.
Doesn't matter about SDock10's reply, Hater Anon. What matters is that Kapunua had OPJ's original email that clearly does not name any of the supposed victims. She lied to those people on DM.
Now, do YOU understand?
Understand THIS, too. If you keep coming in and attacking the OPs, I will keep coming in and defending them. I have had enough of this shit.
The people who started this whole attack didn't take it to email or to DM. They brought it HERE to Mayo's in the first place. So why should I take it anywhere else? Take your own advice.
You still need to come on. You still need to answer my e-mail. I do what is asked for you. Please, just do this for me. Lets talk.
-Her.
This whole incident has been blown wildly out of proportion. The original comment which started it all, regardless of who posted it & who deleted it, was no worse than a lot of other things I've seen said in here. Tempers flare from time to time and comments are made in the heat of the moment. We've always gotten past it before. Why is this time different?
I'm sorry too, Mayo. But these attacks have got to stop. You've read the comments, you can see that the hater anons are the ones who keep bringing up the OPs. They aren't able to say one word in here without someone slamming them.
They DO have friends in here. It is not right that a bunch of haters has driven them and a bunch of others away from here.
I'm afraid to post under my own name because I saw what happened to the OPs. I don't want to be the next target.
If the haters drop it, I'll drop it. But not before, and not until.
Mayo, you tell us to stand up for what we believe in, and for our friends. That's what I'm trying to do.
I went to the hospital. I received my IVs. I love you. Do not leave me--that's all I ask.
-Her.
anon 1:20, are you mayo's "HER".
Gender wasn't mentioned, was it?
More shit going down?
It was all done and over with, why bring it up again? The good thing about blogbelieve is everyone is willing to forgive. Clearly, what happened was in the past, so why bring it up again? Honestly, can you say, IMMATURE?
Sdock, Mustard, K, OP's, PPU, I'm sorry it had to get brought up again.
SC, All my thoughts are with you sweetie.
- 007
Thankyou Wendy love ♥
I actually wrote that poem for someone and he messaged me back with this reply:
"You're my souls shadow so let me love, i'll rescue you, You know i would <3"
awwwwwww i melted :)
i think her is talkin bollocks. if she knew mayo she wouldnt communicate through here
What the hell is going on? This is getting ridiculous!
Hello BC!
How are you doing?
SIM(roast)!!!!!
Long time, no read!
How are you?
Anon @ 1:20 I suggest you try email if you know him.
Anon 1:17
It is not likely that the "haters" will stop all of this. Someone is trying to drive me away from this place as well, but as Mustard put it, people are taking too much advantage of this place.
Unresolved issues deny closure to all parties involved.
Siobhan-san, I am stunned with all of this bullshit happening again. It's just ridiculous.
But other than that, I'm alright. How about you?
siobhan you funny little monster i read you yesterday about the gummy bears that survived the slide into your tummy and were kicking you!! I nearly weed myself you funny little muncher :) i missed you so much.
you can eat me if you like :0 xxx
Exactly anon.
bc i still havent slept. just finished my 10 hour shift and im delirious hehe :) but happy at my message :)
anon are you ok? wanna stay and chat love?
Evening Mayo and BC, SIM, PH & Anon(s)!!
Arrgghh, more in-fighting gubbins taking up space on the blog that poor people trying to catch up have to skim past. Wasn't that all done with an age ago anyway?!
Shouldn't we ask Mayo to delete the post 01/03 @ 12.43pm, seeing as real @$$#*!&$ can do real nasty things with real names?
And you're right SIM - I don't communicate with my "real life" people on a blog either!
Love you all,
Kass xx
Shame in me, you must, must, must sleep young lady! That's an order! ;p
Hi Kass.
Those that seek truth yet find none create their own. That truth is often the most difficult to disprove.
2:50 Anon
I'm doing a-ok, BC!
SIM, you are really sacrificing yourself to me? Awww, that is so...
*sobs and then runs to get wood and matches to blow a fire*
P.S. I missed seeing you here SIM.
Pancake-Zilla, have you ate today?
kass thanks for jared you sexy lil laydee :) hoep you are well :)
bc i will go bed soon just enjoying an alcholic drink hehe ive deserved it. hopefully it will help me sleep. my writing may go weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hehehehe laaa laa laaa
i missed being here. i just got a bit down hearted about it all but im back in full force hahaahaha :)
yes siobhan you may feast on me, theres enough for everyone. you too bc :) its a gift of my love hehe lets have a sim feast :) im so happy i wont feel pain hehe
Anon 2:58
I believe that's what we just saw. Not a real truth, but one created out of disillusionment and blindness.
SIM, you silly goose. You're gonna let Pancake-Zilla eat you again? You might give her gastritis, and she might blow up ^_^
Hi Kass!
How are you? I'm reading the new gossip on Dlisted. You really got me hooked on MK, young lady. His comments sometimes are even more hysterical than the ones from Jenny
and Ted.
BC, luckily I fasted today so that SIM(roast) will be even more delicious to me. My taste buds are virginal and the saliva my mouth produces at the moment could provide New York with water for a whole month.
Pancake-Zilla, you must be really hungry then. Oh SIM, you better watch out. She's coming for you ^_^
heres hoping bc, heres hoping....
.....ahahahaha only jokin siobhan :) hehe she can eat me i love her. you can too bc are you turning me down? Grrrrrrrrrr lol
im having a little one sim party at the moment. Drinking smirnoff ice, delerium in full flow, listening to "wartime" and smiling :D
garrrrr i really wanna go out :/ not a good idea lol
Is the hidden truth more damning than the implied? One would wonder…
2:58 Anon
what seasoning will i be enveloped in my dear siobhan?
ooo im really loving reading the philisophical anons today :D good work guys
Those bearing a timestamp are one.
3:09 Anon
Aww shame in me, how can I turn you down? You know I love you ^_^
Anon 3:09
I suppose so, but, there is also the fact that one does not want to discover the real truth, for either fear of looking like a imbecile, or the fact that creating a false truth and spewing it against its victim is more easier to deal with than to admit that you were wrong in the beginning.
What in the holy hell?
Mayo,
I know how you feel about deleting shit but if you will please, delete that comment showing my sister's name.
That's just bullshit and wrong on so many levels.
Let's see... Firstly, I would have to make a marinade. Olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper...
Or maybe I would rub you in with mustard and wrap you in bacon...
Or... Oh God, I'm gonna eat you alive. This all takes too much time.
I'm so hungry now!!!!!!!!!
You got that right Smokie. Total hell. I don't believe either Solly or OPS is at fault here, but this is getting redundant.
Siobhan-san, ha ha, you're making yourself hungry. Sadly, I can't stay, and there was something else I wanted to say to you my dear Mayonaise, but that shall wait until later.
I have to get my haircut. Take care everyone. Bye my lovely and adorable SIM, Pancake-Zilla, Smokie, anon.
Please hold the fort down while I'm gone :)
Hey everyone
I am all about speaking the truth, but lets keep some secrets off of here.
I would like to say a collective
"Thank you" for all your kind words.I will pass your words on to running bird.
The idea of death, has always been a major issue for her. It has caused many sleepless nights in her younger days for both of us.
However, she is holding strong for his family.
They all wear costumes to work.
His Mom, requested they all come to his Memorial, dressed in their costumes.
I cannot even imagine his parents pain, and yet they are so kind.
On a lighter note
RB was jacking around with her pepper spray.
Teasing her boyfriend with the threat that she was going to spray him.
She pushed the button to show her commitment and it sprayed...
Wind caught it and the pepper blew back into her own eyes.
karma is a bitch
(laughs)
`sc
It is said that the truth shall set you free. Regardless of the outcome, many may find peace in knowledge.
3:14 Anon
hahaha can i have a nibble of your arm before you do the honours my sweet sim-zilla?
i will lightly coat your arm in garlic and black pepper :P mmmmmmm
Hi S&V and Siobhan,
To answer your question: Amy Winehouse has shoulder-length hair naturally and I think the rest is extensions rather than an actual wig.
Are we eating SIM? First dibs on the rump!
Kass xx
bc you will have no hair left soon!! Your always having your hair cut hehehe i wanna see pictures take care my sweet bc
hahah you can have my rump anytime baby ;) hehehe
100% british beef, specially cut from the rare cows of sim land hahaha hand grown from seeds and watered to frutition. I think by the time you have got round to eating me i may be quite drunk hehehe
Hi SIM, Kass and Siobhan!
*blows another kiss at SS just cuz
I see you, dude. You may not be looking at me but I see you. PP and I are waiting on you, too.
This game is sooo on.
Bye BC! Take care! Have fun at the hairdresser's.
I think I will be off for some time as well. I like my SIM(roast) with french fries as a side dish.
Toodles!
my lovely shame in me, you're just in luck. I acquired a new camera about a month ago, so I'll probably post some new pictures just for you, only i won't post them here.
As for that haircut thing, i promised to myself that i wouldn't let it grow too long anymore he he ^_^
*Blows kisses*
Take care everyone. Bye SC
Hi kass, smokie. Bye guys.
siobhan you cant leave i offered myself to you :( sims sad :( sim must carry on drinking lol
hi smoke how are you tonight?
hey everyone, i have an important announcement.
(well, it's important to me, anyway. please read it anyway!)
last night my computer screen started to die, and now it is kaput. it's repairable, and not too major a job, either, but y'know: i'm broke.
so i'll be fixing it as soon as i can, but until then, i can only check in at blogbelieve from the public library. i'll do that as much as i can, but i'm going to be pretty much absent. i'm going to miss you all. :(
mayo:
no more night time comments from me for the duration. i'd like to think that you'll miss hearing from me, but i don't know. i'll pretend you will. i'll be thinking of you.
ss:
i haven't be one of the ones to send you messages, but i was very glad to see your comments yesterday, even though your tone seemed sad to me. i just wanted to tell you that i've been thinking of you, and hoping you're well. you've been in my prayers this past week, and there you'll stay. like you always tell us, pactum serva, my friend.
best take care of the rest of my internet chores before my time is up.
can you believe i'm actually tearing up? and in public, too. what an idiot i am. (oh, btw, that's actually what i say to myself everyday, to answer mustard's question yesterday. *facepalm*)
i'll be around as much as i can, and will try to keep up with my share of the gothic too.
i'll miss you guys. i hope you'll miss me too.
♥
-tj
I'm cool. Just a little pissed about all the bullshit but oh well.
I just hope Mayo deletes that comment.
How is everyone?
I don't know, but here you are anyway. It can be whatever you want it to be about, because if there's one thing I hate doing, it's putting words in your mouth.
"The Corner--A Beautiful Place Amongst The Cement And Shoulders"
I don't know about you, but there are times when I feel completely disconnected from myself. Kind of like I'm out of my body, watching things that happen. My face is all puffy, and I have black eyes. The blood has dried and become crusty. Salty tears run down my cheek taking blood with it.
My face is always pressed to the ground. Maybe because that's where I kept it a lot of the time, hugging the floor, praying for stability. Maybe that's always how I see myself.
I'm not sure if that's such a "beautiful" thing, but that's why I want to know what he was thinking when he wrote it. Just to see where he was.
That's where I was. It becomes overwhelming at times. That one moment will forever be engrained. He'll never know how much it hurt me to lay there, cold and alone, beats pumping through my skull.
He will have forgotten the bruises on my heart and mind long before I am able to forget.
It's a forever thing, Mayo.
screw the bullshit, lifes too short and all that, lets just have fun yeah :)
Toujours i will miss you ♥
Kapunua said...
Princess: Write that crap in Wordpad and COPY AND PASTE IT! Do no be Blogger's bitch. ^_^
I hate to say it but I just became Blogger's bitch for a second time this morning. >_<
GRRR!!!
I'm sorry to hear that, TJ! Get it fixed soon!
Well, I'm off for a bit.
And if the Riddler decides to pop in for a sec while I'm not here, see if you guys can catch him and tie him to the porch post. Really. I'm not joking. He knows all about it, I promise. ^_~
PP,
We're sooo gonna get him.
Maybe we can make him smile if nothing else. ^_^
HEYYYYY MUSSSSTTAAARRDDDD!!!!
thank you, shame in me. i'll miss you too, and this whole place.
gots to go, my time is almost over.
dammit, it's really stupid to have tears in my eyes about this.
i'll check in as soon as i can from the library, and i hope to talk to you all again, very soon, from my own computer.
♥
tj
sim is takingbher drunk ass to bed haha insomnia has me pissed off a tiny bottle of alcopop haha bargain.
Hope i can sleep or i will end up sectioned. take care everyone
Bye-bye TJ!
Mine's being very truculent tonight too so I'm giving up and watching Saturday night TV, "chewing gum for the eyes".
Stupid technology - it giveth with one hand and with the other taketh away...
Have a (hopefully) nice Anon-free night!
Kass xx
Sim, are you still here?
Mya just slid into Third
You are a clever person, Mayonaise!
Really clever!!!
Time around
All of a sudden it's gone sooooo quiet...
This has absolutely nothing to do with anything. There are just some things this dude says, when he's not being the self-proclaimed, egotistical jerk, that always make sense. He'll make something of this world, I'm pretty sure. One word at a time.
Just think about it before you take what you have for granted. There are always those who are much worse off--not just in this instance, but in life.
[...]that being said...
there are people in this world who literally can not exist without help. not because they have some bumps on their face or because "nobody gets them" or because they have a little pudge around the middle, but people who truly do not see any hope. not for a night or a week or a month, but have never truly seen hope and do not see the beauty in the stars.
i understand that high school is difficult and no one sees the effort you put into your eye makeup and you're worried that boy will never notice your cute new outfit you bought to impress him...but take solace that you are not one of them. one of the people who dont ever see happiness because they never let themselves and a smile feels foreign to their face.
so please, please dont give up hope because while you might not think so, there is at least one person out there that is dying for you to see what he sees.
Chris Gutierrez
Solly: I'm VERY sorry. I wish I could ask that person to erase your name because that's totally wrong, and a complete invasion of privacy, but as we know, there's no way to delete something when you're not signed in.
Lovely Paperheartxx: Thank you.
Mayo: I'm sorry, truly. This is a beautiful post, like most of yours are. But this one specifically. It was so nice last night and early today. I'm sorry this all happened. It shouldn't have begun again.
Me? I am back from Boychild's first birthday party which was awesome, so much fun. I love this little kid, and I love seeing my aunt and my cousins. I got tons of pictures. Boychild was dressed in his Hanbok and he looked beautiful. My cousins (his parents) even did a Korean first birthday ritual, where they put symbolic gifts out like rice cakes, books, raisins, string etc., and whichever one the baby picks is supposed to show his future disposition. It was so lovely.
Do I have pictures? You bet I do! ^_^
Blogger really is being a bitch today. >_<
Mayo,
Dude, what's up? Don't worry about deleting the comment that shows my name. I have nothing to hide, so it's all good with me.
I also stand firmly with my friend, PPU. Nobody here has to get it, like it, love it, or understand it. PERIOD!!
Kinda messed up that you are being put in the middle of this BS and I'm sorry for that. I was done with talking about this last Sunday and I'm still done.
I come here to hear you and my friends and I am hearing you all loud and clear right now.
Niiiiiiiiiice!
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. You know that I am exactly the way you think I am.
hello everyone
Kapunua I hope he had a lovely 1st brithday
TJ!!!!!!!!
Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!
Oh I will miss you so much!!
We shall have to hit the emails hard!!
Damn I'd loan you my laptop if I could!!
Hi Sdock S&V SIM BC Mustard Kass RW
and I'm sure I'd have missed someone! sorry
Hey all
Home from work finally. How is everyone?
Hiya, EP :)
Hi, Elena :)
Hi again everyone.
I was mentioned in the middle of this OP's/sdock and others fiasco.
One the one side are the op's. On the other side are Kapuna, mustard, S&V, sdock PPU. (I'm still not sure how GV comes into it)
I stand in the middle holding out my hand to both parties. I don't want to fall out with anyone.
I know that sdock and PPU are innocent. And if anyone had asked me I would have told them so.
I don't know how the rest of us got included in this but as far as I am concerned, I want to put it in the past.
Someone (and not kapunua) mentioned that I had been mentioned in an email and it insinuated that it was from the op's. I got upset by this. The op's however showed me that they had not mentioned me and I'm over it.
As far as I can see, it is up to the one's who were mentioned, OP's sdock and PPU to decide if they are still friends over this. Please can we leave them to their privacy on this matter now.
Me, I'm just a person who doesn't like to fall out with anyone. If you/they do wrong, an apology is all you can do. It is either accepted or not. Either way both parties have to move on.
Please, let it go now. It is only continuing to upset those involved.
So, how is everyone tonight?
TJ, I hope you manage to get the computer fixed soon.
Hi there, Miss T :)
My landlady's daughter just informed me that she is having some friends over tonight for a karaoke party. Their living room is just above my bedroom. Oh, hurrah :/
I don't anticipate much sleep tonight.
Hello all.
I'm just passing through.
Lewis i did get your email. Did you get mine? Anyway you can always reach me at my blog or I will try
yours.
LATER
Hi RW, you need to put a good film on, get some goodies to eat and turn it up loud.
Enjoy yourself sweetie.
Good advice, Miss T. I think it's a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon night tonight!
Hello RW and MissT
You know it's Saturday. We need some fun around here!
Hi Elena, how are you?
What do you suggest in the line of fun.
RW, a JD night sounds good to me.
hey MissT I agree. it's between a few people and their personal issue. it is not needed here anymore. I am sure we have all reached our own peace with the matter and can let it lie.
I'm good thanks missT hope your house is ok adn that wind lets up
hi RW I'm good, could I ask what productions you've done recently and for which company as my dad (theatre designer) is here and I mentioned you then had a mind blank.
oh and HI elena!
sorry meant to do that before, how's the sick housefull?
Hi Ergo sweetie, how is the leg bearing up?
It's still super windy here. We patched the fence up but whether it will hold is another matter.
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