Reflection.
I battle with my image. It is difficult to see myself in the context of life. To see myself as others do, with a watchful eye. I am often too busy living to be constantly aware...aware of my actions and my thoughts as they occur, to be always on. That is a poor excuse, and so I will continue learning.
There amongst the rubble, the rubbish, the reality, and the reverie…is a life lived. I have opened it up for my inspection, my dissection. My life spilled open before me, I am able to pick it apart. What is worth keeping and what shall be cast aside? Some of it will be misplaced or forgotten without intent. Some will be thrown full force out the fucking window.
The entirety of it, my life, has been examined, admired, and accepted as a lesson in time…without regret. But still I ask myself, how can I be a better person?
Considering the past, I must live forward.
I will continue to challenge myself to sustain thoughtfulness. I will attempt to close each day with a question…was I good?
I will allow the answer to that question to lead me forward. Daily, I will take the hand of my mistakes and my misgivings and allow them to guide me to craft a life. My triumphs and successes enhanced by greater insight. I do not want to come to the close of another year bombarded with resolution.
I will also try to keep fear at bay. I will pause, even if it is just for a moment, to reflect. I intend to live, and live well. Each day I will do my best to be good.
My lovelies, I wish each of you the best of life in the new year. I hope that you are all happy and healthy, and that you find joy in each day. I hope you live, and live well.
Apparition?...please.
p.s. my clichéd resolve will be found in the calm exhale of purity.
Friday, December 28, 2007
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